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Old problems surfacing. Need help.
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Author:  DontHitMelol [ Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:31 am ]
Post subject:  Old problems surfacing. Need help.
Me and my girlfriend go to different schools and see each other about once a week.

Me and my girlfriend had some problems about 2 months ago and broke up. While we were together there was some guy who was her best friend who was pretty in love with her. He admitted it to her and apparently she told him she wasn't interested in him but still hung out with him and if anything became even closer with him after this.

A few months later we broke up because of our problems were getting worse (Mainly because I felt as I wasn't getting enough attention and that there was another guy in her life) with no plans to get back together I asked if it had anything to to do with another guy (I had this hunch for a long time and I really just needed to get it out). It turns out she was starting to get feelings for him and really enjoyed hanging out with him AFTER telling me it was nothing and that she simply didn't feel the same way about me anymore.

I was very hurt by this. Badly. I loved this girl and the last thing I wanted to ever happen is for us to break up. But to hear she was falling for another guy and was no longer interested in me really broke my heart.

After about a week of being broken up she called me and told me she made a huge mistake, and said she spoke with him and everything is over, and they are no longer friends so long story short we got back together.


Here's where my problems start now:

SO After she told me she had completely cut him out of her life (about 2 months ago) she came home and told me this.

My girlfriend came home today to tell me that they're going to be friends again and she simply can't ignore him anymore since he's in her classes . She said if she needs help in class she's going to be texting him, if she needs to study with someone they'll most likely be studying together and they'll probably have meals together once in a while and she'll post on his facebook every now and then.

This makes me VERY uneasy. After telling me she wouldn't be doing these things anymore she is now telling me she has to.

I really have a lot of trouble sitting back knowing that they'll be hanging out again after the fact that this guy is so interested in my girlfriend and that we had problems with him in the past. Especially since she told me that she had cut him out of her life...
Author:  Mr_Amazing [ Wed Feb 23, 2011 8:50 am ]
Post subject: 
She doesn`t have to...she wants to. Sure they are in the same class, but aren`t there other students in the class too? Why can`t she facebook, text and eat with one of her female classmates? These are some of the questions you should be asking yourself and your girlfriend...
Author:  DontHitMelol [ Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:20 am ]
Post subject: 
She keeps telling me that I need to trust her, that I'm the only one for her and that I shouldn't worry who she hangs out with no matter what' happened in the past... but that's just not enough.

I can't help feel like she's going back on her word and her constant desire to rekindle her friendship with this person is a bad sign. Her excuse is that her life would be "awkward" if she completely pushed him out of her life since she sees him all the time.
Author:  ricky98 [ Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Cmon man, dont act like a jealous little girl..
You are her boyfriend.. She is with you! Her friend is wishing he was you.. but still, you are jealous.
If you trust her, you have nothing to worry about..
And if you dont trust her.. leave her
Author:  poet1234 [ Wed Feb 23, 2011 12:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
This platonic kind of relationships(like the one you think your girl is having with this guy) cannot exist when the guy is an idiot who cannot escalate.Understand this kind of relationships are only at the level of thought.
Quote:
Mainly because I felt as I wasn't getting enough attention and that there was another guy in her life
If I'd have this kind of problems,I would leave the relationship.If not anything else,your mind is making you live in a nightmare.
Author:  Wal [ Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Agreed with poet1234. You don't seem ready for a relationship of this sort (semi-long distance).

I'll add that it doesn't sound like she is ready, either. The fact that she is telling you all of this openly is a good sign; however, it seems that she needs the validation of this guy's attention more than she needs you to be comfortable. Have you addressed this new concern with her, or did you let it slide like an "alpha male" "would have done"? :roll:

Talk to her. Explain calmly that this bothers you, because it broke you two up in the past and there is no reason to think it won't happen again (they were "just friends" before, too). If you get the feeling that she is willing to let you remain uncomfortable just because she can't deal with NOT having this guy's attention, bail. It isn't worth worrying about.
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