PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Psychologically Problemed Girl - Is it my fault?
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=84849		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  dasani [ Sat Feb 05, 2011 6:08 am ]
Post subject:  Psychologically Problemed Girl - Is it my fault?
So my girlfriend has psychological issues, to the point where she will cut herself/threaten to kill herself if things don't go her way. She's told me she can't control it so I've accepted it as a part of her. I let her get her way, I let her hit me and threaten me with a fucking knife - call me a bitch all you want, but I do it because (maybe i'm being completely stupid) it makes her feel safe. I've never heard of anyone taking all that shit, but I still decided to even though my mind was screaming "get out of this fucked up situation".

From what I hear from her good friends, she's given hell to almost every guy she's dated.

anyway, short story version of the current situation is:
She constantly puts herself in danger, and expecting me to chase her. If I don't then she attempts to make me feel guilty for putting herself in danger (what..?). I've lost all self-confidence because it's been ripped apart slowly in this relationship. These things are more severe than they sound, but I love this girl and I take her word that she can't control these actions. Am I sane for ignoring her and ignoring these antics after trying to resolve them? Is it wrong that I let her be out there?
Author:  cedius [ Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:36 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
From what I hear from her good friends, she's given hell to almost every guy she's dated.
Its one thing to love her...but it's a whole other thing to love yourself. If you feel this is the right move for you...then there is nothing that we can say that will change your mind. This is your life...and if you feel that staying by her side will make you a better person for it...who are we to judge you. Do what you feel is right.

If you want to hear if others would put up with it...I suppose I would want to ask you why do you care what they think...25 people post that they would jump ship and specify their reasons why...are you going to be #26 and jump too?

Look, the answer you are looking for is really simple, at the end of the day...think of what you went through that particular day...good or bad, if it was heaven with her...or another day in hell...then decide if that is something you can do for a lifetime.

Problem solved. On this one...I don't think you need us to determine this for you.
Author:  bigdog225 [ Sat Feb 05, 2011 2:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
The simple question is are you going to let her drag you down or no?
Do you really want this controlling psychopathic woman running your life, and have you running to her like a puppy dog, when she dares jump off a bridge? If you really cared you would leave her, and get her some help, being in a relationship with her is not helping anything, you nor her, and she sees she has this power over you, and she is going to keep doing it. You said yourself, your self-confidence has gone to shit, how long are you going to allow this to happen? Don't you think you're better than that? She's holding you down but yeah, hopefully you see where I'm coming from, nothing good will come from this relationship bro.
Author:  bigdog225 [ Sat Feb 05, 2011 2:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
The simple question is are you going to let her drag you down or no?
Do you really want this controlling psychopathic woman running your life, and have you running to her like a puppy dog, when she dares jump off a bridge? If you really cared you would leave her, and get her some help, being in a relationship with her is not helping anything, you nor her, and she sees she has this power over you, and she is going to keep doing it. You said yourself, your self-confidence has gone to shit, how long are you going to allow this to happen? Don't you think you're better than that? She's holding you down but yeah, hopefully you see where I'm coming from, nothing good will come from this relationship bro.
Better to be miserable than be alone, risking not finding another girl?
Yeah his confidence is taking a toll for the likes of some psycho bitch, yeah better to be alone than with this crazy woman. He should not settle for less, and stay with her in this abusive relationship because he doesn't think he'll find someone else. Totally not worth it, and with this forum as a resource,and a little work, he can definitely find someone else.
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Sat Feb 05, 2011 4:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Get out of it mate.

Think first about YOURSELF.

You ain't worth all the misery this girl brings. A LTR should do you good, not bad. If it isn't doing you good, drop her. Its her problem that she is fucked up, not yours!!!
Author:  Mr_Amazing [ Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Get out of that relationship. Its obvious this woman is mentally unstable. You don`t need to be around that type of negativity. Plus, she is physically abusive towards you...Whatever you decide on doing, the physical abuse has got to stop. Letting her get comfortable with physically challenging you is a no-no, big time. Its only going to escalate into something serious. Next time she puts her hands on you, slap the shit out of her...just one time. for all the players on the board. i normally don`t condone violence against women, but in your case...you need to take drastic measures.
Author:  Wal [ Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Next time she puts her hands on you, slap the shit out of her...just one time. for all the players on the board. i normally don`t condone violence against women, but in your case...you need to take drastic measures.
I disagree. Drastic, violent actions (physical or emotional) are never necessary. Physically abusing someone who is already mentally unstable is even worse. dasani, the only solution that I can recommend is to remove yourself from the situation. And, because you care about this person, follow through and make sure she gets some professional help.
Author:  cedius [ Sat Feb 05, 2011 11:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
giving him permission to be miserable seems like a terribly un-compassionate thing to do
@Hobbit....I see your point and I totally agree...but like I mentioned in my post...to me, all the advice we give won't fix this...either stay or go...and Honestly, I feel he is going to stay...it's why I say...if he does...then fine, we can't force him, but it would be best to step away.

In situations like this...you NEED to be selfish as crazy as it sounds...you only have one life and if you are going to live it for someone else's happiness, just know, the time you spend with her...you will not get back! YOU need to be happy with you before you can make someone else happy, that's key!

Oh...and thank you for the props Mr. Hobbit. :D
Author:  dasani [ Thu Feb 17, 2011 1:03 am ]
Post subject: 
I've been caught up so I forgot to update. I do appreciate all the posts and I'm impressed with your memory Hobbit. Right now I'm trying to remove any ties she could ever use to link back to me.
Quote:
YOU need to be happy with you before you can make someone else happy, that's key!
I've come to realize and agree with that line. I used to be happy but now I can't tell what state I'm in. For some reason, everything I learned from LSD Blueprint and from this forum went down the shit hole throughout the past year which I find very disappointing and frustrating. Ironically, I have read K-loc's thread about his past unhealthy relationship and I felt an uplifting feeling reading it.

WalQer
- Yes, violence against someone who is that unstable is definitely bad. I can't give her professional help if she doesn't desire to follow through with it herself. Like the posts in this thread (or any thread), no one can be forced to do something but more so they have to realize it themselves. She doesn't see it as an issue and is so fixated on the idea that it stems from me.

I've been told the exact same things from my friends/family and I know what's wrong. But, her reasons always seem to snap whatever fortitude I have to hold onto that decision to walk away from all this - and that's my weakness. I talked to my counselor about this and pretty much I have to grow a pair - which all of you probably know. Well... it's about time I do so. Apparently I portray myself as being selfish even when I'm doing the complete opposite, my as well fully act out that image. Thanks for the posts, much appreciated :)
Author:  rippemapart [ Fri Feb 18, 2011 6:49 am ]
Post subject: 
this reminds me of movie's.... were a women cant handle a stressful situation,, runs blindly into dangure, then expects the guy to rescue her.

ever see movies,, were a man warns the women to be carful,,, she is too upset to see the logic of not getting her self killed,,, she runs into dangure,, gets in trubble, then the guy that just warned her,, has to risk his life to save her..

dude,,, it does not sound like this is going to get better.. what if these game's are, just that? ...games?....... just another form of mind games?.. or control?

either way.... personly... i would get out of that relashionship... use pua to find a new girl.

just think,, is this one-itis?..... either way,, personly,, i would get out of this relashionship
Author:  bvanevery [ Sun Feb 20, 2011 5:13 am ]
Post subject: 
GET OUT. It is so obvious. The reason you haven't gotten out, is that your self-esteem has been destroyed so much that you can't see clearly. GET OUT. It's like some Star Trek episode where some alien parasite is eating your brain and I'm sitting in the audience telling the foolish actor to GET OUT. Grope your way to the Light, recover your own identity, get the alien parasite out of your brain.
Author:  Toffeeboy [ Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey buddy I work as a female psychologist so I might be able to give you a bit of insight.

First of all, is she bulimic or anorexic by any chance? I'm asking this because depression is the added package that comes along!

It's a living nightmare unfortunately and there's NOTHING you can do about it except get her some professional help.

I've also had the opportunity to be in this unfortunate situation. I was on a business trip once and my (ex) gf tried to overdose and kill herself because I had my phone switched off. These girls are mentally troubled and the only redemption they see is that you keep coming back or they have to physically harm themselves to get over this 'anxiety'. It's sad but the truth always is.

I seriously recommend you to take advice of all the guys here and get out of the relationship. If it's denting your confidence that's a big hint for you to back the f out. If she persists on violence then like I said get her to seek some help 'cause it could be damaging in the long run. It's nice that you're being thoughtful but be realistic ah! :)

Hope that helped a little fella.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/