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What does silence usually mean in a relationshiP?
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Author:  exclusiveme [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 4:33 pm ]
Post subject:  What does silence usually mean in a relationshiP?

What could possibly happen at a dinner that changes a person's life?

Thanks in advance for the insights and deductions.

Author:  PUA Kenny [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 8:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

Hey Exclusiveme,Im confused.

Author:  Bimm3r [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 9:15 pm ]
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Silence is one of the most confusing things in a relationship..

Author:  Little Panda [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 9:26 pm ]
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Silence could mean a lot of things. Please elaborate and give some details, I seriously can't understand where your logics were when you wrote this.

Panda.

Author:  PUA Kenny [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 9:57 pm ]
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Exactly Little Panda,Im lost also.

No elaboration,no details.

Author:  Chelios [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:02 pm ]
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Also agree, silence how, how did the silence start?

If it's on going for weeks in a relationship, there is obviously a problem, the person being distant has a problem, could mean he/she is having second thoughts, doesn't want to be in the relationship, generally wants a way out, or thinks the other person has done something wrong.

Not a good sign.

Author:  exclusiveme [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

Hey guys,
thanks for pointing that out. Um, the silence started about 2 days ago at 6:00 am in the afternoon. She said she had a dinner and possibly this dinner has changed her life. I wasn't there with her, and she hasn't told me anything about it.
So I didn't bother to ask her anymore and is just waiting until she is ready to tell me.
So far, no communication.

What could possibly happen at a dinner anyways?

Before this, I have also been on a period of silence, and she was getting a little insecure. Recently, I've apologized. I told her that I've been having a hard time. This is when the silence started where right after she informs me that last night dinner has probably changed her life.

I'm really confused, too. and all i can appreciate for answers are possible reasons on why a woman might go silent on you. Has there been cases where your partner has gone silent on you and what was the reason for it? and how do you go on about maintaining or escalating the relationship in such scenerio?

Author:  PUA Kenny [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:23 pm ]
Post subject: 

@Chel'-lmao,we're all lost with no details.

We're tryna help Exclusiveme on his post yet he's not filling us in.

Good point Chel',"Whats the reason for the silence,how it came about"?

Author:  Chelios [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:24 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Hey guys,
thanks for pointing that out. Um, the silence started about 2 days ago at 6:00 am in the afternoon. She said she had a dinner and possibly this dinner has changed her life. I wasn't there with her, and she hasn't told me anything about it.
So I didn't bother to ask her anymore and is just waiting until she is ready to tell me.
So far, no communication.

What could possibly happen at a dinner anyways?

Before this, I have also been on a period of silence, and she was getting a little insecure. Recently, I've apologized. I told her that I've been having a hard time. This is when the silence started where right after she informs me that last night dinner has probably changed her life.

I'm really confused, too. and all i can appreciate for answers are possible reasons on why a woman might go silent on you. Has there been cases where your partner has gone silent on you and what was the reason for it? and how do you go on about maintaining or escalating the relationship in such scenerio?
First off tell us these factors please:

How old are you and the girl in question?

How long have you been together?

Do you know each others families?

Answer those, then we can push on, but in my opinion, especially if you care for the person, which I sense you do, hence the confusion, it will probably be best to confront her, and ask, what's up?

Author:  exclusiveme [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:31 pm ]
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Quote:

How old are you and the girl in question?
Well, in terms of relationship maturity, we're inexperienced. In terms of age, I'm 21 and she's 21.
Quote:
How long have you been together?
1 year. Hasn't started dating yet. Just really strong affection, passion and commitment towards each other.
Quote:

Do you know each others families?
Not in person.
Quote:
Answer those, then we can push on, but in my opinion, especially if you care for the person, which I sense you do, hence the confusion, it will probably be best to confront her, and ask, what's up?


Thank you.

T

Author:  exclusiveme [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:37 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
@Chel'-lmao,we're all lost with no details.

We're tryna help Exclusiveme on his post yet he's not filling us in.

Good point Chel',"Whats the reason for the silence,how it came about"?
Hey k-loc,

For me. The reason behind my silence was that I was having a hard time from family issues and inner game. And for her, her silence came after I apologized and told her about it.

The last thing she told me before her silence was "The dinner last night may have changed her life." I wasn't part of the dinner. So I don't know what the heck could have happened that changes a person life at a dinner.

Author:  Chelios [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:38 pm ]
Post subject: 

Exclusiveme, Hmmm odd man, Honestly, I'd be straight with her, unless you want silence to continue, maybe she has a few things on her mind, you asking her (do it maturely) because it isn't always what you say, but how it's said. She may just need a touch and sense of security from you.

21 is an adult, I'm the same age, I've had a serious relationship when I was 19.

Also knowing her for one year etc is quite a long time.

If you don't know her family in person, I doubt they're causing issues, do you know her friends, could that be an issue?

All in all, I'd say don't assume, ask her, in a good manor, and see what her response is. If she says "Nothing" which most women would, point out something obviously is, and tell her where's the mutual respect, or in other words.

Chel

Author:  exclusiveme [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:41 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Exclusiveme, Hmmm odd man, Honestly, I'd be straight with her, unless you want silence to continue, maybe she has a few things on her mind, you asking her (do it maturely) because it isn't always what you say, but how it's said. She may just need a touch and sense of security from you.

21 is an adult, I'm the same age, I've had a serious relationship when I was 19.

Also knowing her for one year etc is quite a long time.

If you don't know her family in person, I doubt they're causing issues, do you know her friends, could that be an issue?

All in all, I'd say don't assume, ask her, in a good manor, and see what her response is. If she says "Nothing" which most women would, point out something obviously is, and tell her where's the mutual respect, or in other words.

Chel
What's are some ways to show security?

Does asking her not to give up on you count as assuming? Because I sort of want to tell her that right now giving her the power . and power = security.

Author:  Chelios [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:49 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Quote:
Exclusiveme, Hmmm odd man, Honestly, I'd be straight with her, unless you want silence to continue, maybe she has a few things on her mind, you asking her (do it maturely) because it isn't always what you say, but how it's said. She may just need a touch and sense of security from you.

21 is an adult, I'm the same age, I've had a serious relationship when I was 19.

Also knowing her for one year etc is quite a long time.

If you don't know her family in person, I doubt they're causing issues, do you know her friends, could that be an issue?

All in all, I'd say don't assume, ask her, in a good manor, and see what her response is. If she says "Nothing" which most women would, point out something obviously is, and tell her where's the mutual respect, or in other words.

Chel
What's are some ways to show security?

Does asking her not to give up on you count as assuming? Because I sort of want to tell her that right now giving her the power . and power = security.
Well to be honest, if everything has been good for most of the year of the relationship, that should be a pretty good secure base, so she should respect and be open with you.

Just be straight, using a good tone, if your serious about her and say " Hey babe, I know something's up/on your mind, you haven't been the same since (insert day), what's bothering you? I'm here for you"

Author:  exclusiveme [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:52 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Well to be honest, if everything has been good for most of the year of the relationship, that should be a pretty good secure base, so she should respect and be open with you.
Actually, this case is unique. The passion and commitment is there, but security and openness are not. Hence, we are still not together as couples. And I'm sort of questioning where this commitment thing is going.

I think I am starting to see where the problem lies now- creating a source of security as you mentioned. This I am inexperienced at. I tend to make girls really insecure. How can I provide more security to a girl?

And by the way, thanks for the help so far. Much appreciated.

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