PUA Forum :: Jealousy Dissected

It's often times hard not to show jealousy if your partner gives you too many reasons to feel jealous. For example, my gf has a lot of guy friends and she hangs out with them often. In the beginning I didn't show any jealousy, because logically I knew that it's not the right thing to do. However, when she started drinking alone with her guy friends and spending the night at their place I couldn't help but be jealous. Logic no longer existed. Now anytime she goes out and dances with guys I feel jealousy, probably only because she's given me reasons to feel jealous in the past. Anyways, my whole point is that it is not always easy to not show jealousy when you are given legitimate reasons.

Author:	Amonx9 [ Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:19 am ]
Post subject:	Jealousy Dissected
I encouter jealousy in my own life, and since there’s not much information about it out there, i decided this is a good time to get started. First and for all, What is jealousy, and where does it come from? Jealousy is an emotion evolved from the fact to protect our pair bond, people who once where more jealous, and protected their lover more for that reason, spread their genes better, that’s why now, all people encounter the emotion of jealousy. What we actually feel when we feel jealous is a combination of 2 emotions, anger and fear, fear of losing someone or anger that someone is moving on, or a combination of those 2. When you feel jealous, you're experiencing a threat to your primary attachment. The basic survival part of your brain feels that if you lose this person, something terrible will happen. It puts you on high alert to avoid this perceived danger. Don’t let it show How to handle jealousy, that’s pretty simple, don’t show your partner that you feel it... When you show jealousy, it my get triggered too with ur partner. It my trigger a painful counter-reaction, often the feeling or belief is “He thinks i’m a bad person, liar, cheater”. Then eventually YOU will feel threatened. As PUA you should know, that attraction isn’t a choice, so your girl is going to be attracted to someone else! The fact that she’s trustworthy is the way she deals with those feelings.... (I read this on forum somewhere, credits to unkown! J) When you feel jealous in a relationship, it comes from your own insecurities! Every good relationship is based on trust, it’s something you get at the beginning, and only can lose in the matter of time.... so grant everyone the trust they diserve... Altough, what needs to be said, in a good frame, a little bit of jealousy can’t be bad, just to let her show that you care for her, being hearthless is never a good idea.... If anyone has something to add here, let me know! Thanks for ur time! Amonx9

Author:	Carmo [ Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:22 pm ]
Post subject:
You can pretend not to let jealousy show but it will still come through on a thousand micro behaviors that she will pick up on. The challenge is to actually get to a place where you are genuinely not jealous. Obviously this would depend on the girl and how she behaves but still the goal is the same. I guess adopting a true abundance mentality and having core confidence would be the solution. Easier said than done though.

Author:	Amonx9 [ Thu Dec 02, 2010 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: You can pretend not to let jealousy show but it will still come through on a thousand micro behaviors that she will pick up on. The challenge is to actually get to a place where you are genuinely not jealous. Obviously this would depend on the girl and how she behaves but still the goal is the same. I guess adopting a true abundance mentality and having core confidence would be the solution. Easier said than done though. Thanks for the add, I 100% agree with you!

Author:	berettagtz [ Sat Dec 04, 2010 5:59 pm ]
Post subject:
It's often times hard not to show jealousy if your partner gives you too many reasons to feel jealous. For example, my gf has a lot of guy friends and she hangs out with them often. In the beginning I didn't show any jealousy, because logically I knew that it's not the right thing to do. However, when she started drinking alone with her guy friends and spending the night at their place I couldn't help but be jealous. Logic no longer existed. Now anytime she goes out and dances with guys I feel jealousy, probably only because she's given me reasons to feel jealous in the past. Anyways, my whole point is that it is not always easy to not show jealousy when you are given legitimate reasons.

Author:	P1nkstar [ Wed Dec 08, 2010 6:20 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: It's often times hard not to show jealousy if your partner gives you too many reasons to feel jealous. For example, my gf has a lot of guy friends and she hangs out with them often. In the beginning I didn't show any jealousy, because logically I knew that it's not the right thing to do. However, when she started drinking alone with her guy friends and spending the night at their place I couldn't help but be jealous. Logic no longer existed. Now anytime she goes out and dances with guys I feel jealousy, probably only because she's given me reasons to feel jealous in the past. Anyways, my whole point is that it is not always easy to not show jealousy when you are given legitimate reasons. Can i ask, how did you handle or are you handling the situation?

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