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I so want to break-up, but can´t :( HELP
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=79044
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Author:  Consistence [ Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:30 am ]
Post subject:  I so want to break-up, but can´t :( HELP

I am not happy and satisfied in my relationship. I have not been for a long time now. This alone should tell me to break-up with her. What is wrong you wonder?

I have been in a relationship for 2 years soon, and there have been good and bad times of course. But there have been issues with her ex-boyfriend in the past (almost a year ago), but she said they would disappear when we moved to another country. Those issues were that they were talking every day and that she still had feelings for him, but at the same time feelings for me. When we moved they have no contact anymore.

But another problem has occured. We have got a new social circle now and that means new people. One guy in the social circle has become a rather good friend of mine, but maybe better "friend"(?) with my girlfriend. They hang out all the time during school-hours, and when we party they always talk alot. She asked me if it was ok if she went to the libary with him and I said "Of course, no problem at all. Have fun reading:)" A few weeks later he asked her if she wanted to come over to watch a movie and then I said "I don´t like that" to her. Was this wrong by me? I don´t like her going over alone to another boy she has known for 2 months. She respected me and stayed home.

My problem is that I feel the same issues with er ex-boyfriend is going to occur once again. She has told me there is no more than friendship with him (after I said I don´t want her to go over to him alone). With my ex-girlfriend I had no issues with her going over to boys but with my current one I have because of the past. I am not happy. I can´t stand the thought of her fucking my friend in our small social circle. That´s what holding me away from breaking-up with her.

Honestly, what should I do?

Author:  Apocalyptica [ Tue Nov 16, 2010 11:22 am ]
Post subject: 

You are overreacting in my opinion.

If she would like to cheat on you, she would never TELL you in the first place that she is going to see him.

Be happy she is open to you.

Author:  thelenzel [ Wed Nov 17, 2010 2:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

Maybe a little overreacting but you're in your right. I don't think any guy would be happy if their girlfriend is alone at another guys house, and I don't mean it because she might cheat on you, because if she would you wouldn't know, but because we are guys, we know what our intentions really are when we ask a girl out. Lets deal with it, we don't like to be just friends with a girl, and when a guy asks her to his home ALONE, well.. you know what he has in mind. Unless, of course he is gay. Just ask her if she'd be ok with you going to a girls house alone or viceversa. She'll probably say yes that she trusts you but she's dying inside. So I think you're not exaggerating that much.

Author:  Tzinc [ Wed Nov 17, 2010 5:02 pm ]
Post subject: 

A person can have so much security in themselves but you have to draw the line somewhere. You have to have clearly defined boundaries and your gf has to respect those boundaries and visa versa. I dont mind a gf of mine going for coffee with a guy friend or chatting with them but if she hangs out with a guy friend more than she hangs out with you or even goes over to watch a movie I would think thats a problem. There is an issue with letting a girl get away with murder and that is they begin to lose respect for you because you seem to not care what she does there has to be some rules in place...be the leader.

Author:  Saro [ Wed Nov 24, 2010 6:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

If she wants to be unfaithful she will be. Simple as that.

Its a tricky one because if you don't have any rein over her she might lose repect for you over it ( ie letting her hang around with other guys alone )
But if you become too strict you can push her away.

Just try get the balance right. But to reiterate what i said earlier. People cheat all the time and if she's that type of person there is nothing you can do about it

Author:  empecc [ Fri Nov 26, 2010 3:35 pm ]
Post subject: 

I had a relationship 4 years ago and my girlfriend was going each friday evening to a friend of her to watch "a movie", in that time I didn't even thought about "cheating".
I even slept one night at a friend of mine, which was a girl, also a friend of her.

We (ex and me) still chat sometime, and they still watch a movie now and then. Without any sexual events. So its possible in my opinion. But yeah sometimes you have to draw a line I think.

Besides this, if you are not happy with your relationship. You should bring it on the table, and discuss the "unhappy" things, honesty is important.
If you do not discuss this at all, you will break up after all, without even trying to fix it with your girlfriend.

The reason why I say this, is because I got dumped myself (11 months ago) without a good explaination, and she wasn't happy at all with our relationship, which she never mentioned, so how could we fix it?

Author:  poet1234 [ Fri Nov 26, 2010 8:57 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
I can´t stand the thought of her fucking my friend in our small social circle. That´s what holding me away from breaking-up with her.
Like there was a signed contract.
Quote:
I am not happy and satisfied in my relationship. I have not been for a long time now
You think it's gonna get any better in 2 years ? Or after you have a kid with her ?
Bullshit.

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