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Please tell me if I did the right thing, I cant take this!
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Author:  whysoskinny [ Sun Nov 07, 2010 12:38 am ]
Post subject:  Please tell me if I did the right thing, I cant take this!
I dated this girl, for a year, my first love, it was perfect. Amazing. We broke up after a year or so. It was balanced for 90 percent of the relationship and the way she acted towards me was, amazing. Something happened, we broke up, and she just didnt seem to care, she said she needed space, and I didnt give it because i loved her so much. Its crazy. It went downhill, we broke up, and i coudlnt beleive it, i cant get over it, 4 months later. I try to talk to her, and she is just, so over it, she doenst give a shit, how can it be that this girl was crazy about me. I spoke to her today on facebook...

I couldnt take it anymore, I spoke to her on chat, she didnt really seemed to bothered to talk to me. I brought me and her up again and she said that she cant talk to me because we just talk about us and we cant have a normal conversation. She said that I need to get over it and that I have pushed her so far away.

I sent her an inbox, and I said, It kills me that you view me in this light and your sick of me, when once upon a time i put smiles on your face non stop. I said that she is a great girl with great dreams and they will come true if she works hard, and I said she taught me how to open up, and love. I said im sorry for fighting to hard after we broke and not giving her space, because I thought me and her were special and I loved her. I also said that she was the best I ever had, and im sure one day she will think the same.

I blocked heron facebook (already deleted her on SPAM and her number). At first I was happy, but then I began to doubt my decision. If she ever wanted me back she cant contact me. She cant see what im up to. She might not even care, she might not give a shit and this makes her easier for her to forget about me. She might view me in an immature way. I dont know what I am doing. Or what I should do, or what I did was the right thing.

I loved this girl so much and i cant get over her, ive fought for her and thought about her everyday since we broke up
Author:  Savlon [ Sun Nov 07, 2010 6:37 am ]
Post subject: 
You need to give her space mate... you're not helping the situation by sending her inbox messages saying how fucking good she is and how much you love her... THIS DOES NOT HELP!

my advice is leave her alone, go find some other woman so you get over this one...
seriously you need to stop puting her on a pedestal... you WILL find another girl that will be even better then her... there's plenty out there so get your arse into gear and find them :)
Author:  General Lamb [ Sun Nov 07, 2010 8:36 am ]
Post subject: 
Needy behaviour is fail, do not do it, ever.

When I was a young lad I was needy in my first couple of relationships and it killed them, I learned that this was bad and stopped doing it. However I didn't fully understand why it was bad just that it was. After being with an extremely needy girl I now fully understand why being needy is relationship suicide and so horrifically unpleasant for the other person. I'm quite tempted to write up a post explaining what I've learned, but for now stop the needy behaviour:

Do not talk about your past together
Do not say you love her, she's the best etc.
Do not say sorry.
Author:  whysoskinny [ Sun Nov 07, 2010 9:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Did i do the right thing by blocking her?
Author:  General Lamb [ Sun Nov 07, 2010 9:20 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah, not seeing what she's up to will help you get over her.
Author:  whysoskinny [ Sun Nov 07, 2010 9:23 am ]
Post subject: 
Was I needy? Tell me what i did that fucked it all up, I am so confused, me and this girl were crazy about each other. She said to me "You pushed me so far away" - Will she ever come back or realize what she has lost or want to come back?
Author:  Little Panda [ Sun Nov 07, 2010 2:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Was I needy? Tell me what i did that fucked it all up, I am so confused, me and this girl were crazy about each other. She said to me "You pushed me so far away" - Will she ever come back or realize what she has lost or want to come back?
She might - the day you stop giving a shit.
Author:  Rikkeh [ Sun Nov 07, 2010 3:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Was I needy? Tell me what i did that fucked it all up, I am so confused, me and this girl were crazy about each other. She said to me "You pushed me so far away" - Will she ever come back or realize what she has lost or want to come back?
yes, you screwed up. If you keep telling her you still like her, then she won't miss you because nothing changed. As soon as you step away, she might be like, why isn't he texting anymore? Why isn't he sending me messages, etc.

Anyway, every man I know felt like you are doing now, and every one of them managed to handle it, in time.. at least i did.

By removing all contact with her, its easier to forget her, its also easier for her to forget you. (just as you said). It's probably a good move because better girls will come and if you look around your not the only one with ex-gf troubles, almost everyone has.
Author:  whysoskinny [ Sun Nov 07, 2010 3:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
The thing that kills me is that, all my friends say, you deserve her, she doenst know what she is missing. She is so hot, I wont ever be able to get better. IM serious. She is so . hot. beauiful, everything, it kills to imagine her with another guy
Author:  Snake Doctor [ Sun Nov 07, 2010 4:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Man you will be able to get better. How many hot beautiful and everthing is out there?millions lol.Dont ever get this mentality trust me i know how hard is breakup with a "special" girl but you cant get stuck in the moment.

With that mentality you wont atracted hotter girls and believe it will be impossible to regain your girlfriend if you are playing the " I need you back" card, you have to move on and game other girls and maybe only maybe your girlfriend will become jealousy and see she isnt part of your world no more and maybe she will want to comeback. But if you act all needy and talking to your friends she is your world. You will never win her back and maybe when you are gaming other girls you will find one more special than your previous.
Author:  Nayail [ Sun Nov 07, 2010 5:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
You did the right thing, if she really wants to contact you she can, just like if the situation was reversed you could contact her. Classic example of the one who has the most power in a relationship is the one who cares the least. Step away from it, time to move on, you'll never get another babe acting like this. and I guarantee you once you start seeing other women, she'll be hunting you down...and you know what, when that happens you'll probably not want her back, you'll realize that its not her you want, but the feelings you had with her. And that friend can be had with someone else...it just takes time.
Author:  camus154 [ Thu Dec 09, 2010 2:23 am ]
Post subject: 
Your friends are trying to comfort you. Whether you deserve her or not has absolutely no bearing on reality whatsoever. She isn't some sort of achievement or prize that you can claim ownership over.

I feel you....my last really serious relationship was with an extremely hot chick who was intelligent and funny as hell to boot. I screwed up that relationship royally, and believe me, it took me *at least* two years to really get over her.

The point is, eventually you will. Whether you'll be able to score "hotter" than her or not isn't the point, and if you think that way you'll inevitably sabotage some potentially good opportunities that may come your way. For instance, in my own situation, I haven't yet dated a woman as hot as my ex, and the first few women I dated after her stood no chance in hell having a serious relationship with me. However, over time I stopped making such comparisons and began appreciating the women in my life for who they were, and now I'm at a point where even if objectively they may not be as hot as my ex, they are *subjectively* just as hot because I've finally gotten over the ex and don't feel the need to qualify them against her.

It doesn't matter how hot the woman is. What matters is how you feel about her.
Author:  Naughty_pencil [ Fri Dec 10, 2010 7:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
let me tell u sumtn man. Ive been broken up with my ex for 3 months. And still i cry every now and then. still i punch the pillow at night. but the times ive gona out and met other girls, hooked up etc. My ex gf totally disapeared out of my head.
its like magic.

u will always love ur ex. u cant help it. the only way is to go out and meet other girls and as impossible as it may sound, ull meet girls that will make ur ex look like a fool. i promise u. And ur ex will totally disapear from ur mind. It will be like complete magic. but the only way to do this is too meet other girls.
Author:  Conker [ Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:54 am ]
Post subject: 
The correct course of action from the get go, would have been, the moment you realised something was wrong, was to distance yourself and let her come back.

At any point, the best thing to do would have been to stop communicating for a while, and then let her come back. Possibly even after a few weeks or months, if still nothing from her (maybe she's feeling ashamed - girls don't make the first move) test the waters and ask how she is, see how she responds.

You've basically done the wrong thing the whole way - at some point you became insecure about yourself, or her love for you and that's when things turned around. Sometimes it starts by you showing insecurity that isn't warranted. Like flipping out over something that doesn't really matter, and she sees you reacting in that way. It makes her feel uncomfortable, because if you can't deal with that simple thing, you can't protect her. That's a primal reaction, and things will go downhill, she will pick on you for silly things, to provoke you and see if her feeling is justified - if you keep reacting badly over little things, she will know for sure and it will keep going down hill. This is subconsious behaviour - she naturealy gets grumpy and turns on you when you behave insecure. THat's just the way it goes.

You've done a pretty good job of pushing her away, it's very final, the level you've taken it.

Here's some advice - get used to missing her and wondering what could have been. You'll never stop liking her in the back of your mind and you'll always regret what you did, but that's life. Just learn from it. The only good advice here is from Chopper Reed - Harden the fuck up, princess.
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