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New GF still using her POF account. Should I confront her?
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Author:  Carmo [ Tue Oct 12, 2010 2:19 pm ]
Post subject:  New GF still using her POF account. Should I confront her?
Been dating this girl for about 6 weeks now. The relationship has been going great and we are exclusive. Only thing is that she is a good bit younger than me. She is 21 and I am 29. She had mentioned to me that she used to use POF and had met a guy earlier this summer on there. Today i was bored at work and decided to see if i could find her. To my suprise there she was and had already been online today. She told me she doesn't use it anymore. Should I bring this up? My last relationship scared me pretty bad and I am concerned about getting hurt again. Is this a big deal or no?

Thanks!
Author:  Sexcellent [ Wed Oct 13, 2010 4:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
if i were you i wouldn't worry about it too much. 6 weeks isn't really a long time to be dating. i would give it some more time and see if she is still on there. she might just be on there seeing what her firends or her ex is up to out of curiosity. or maybe she is answering guys and telling them she is now in a relationshp. who knows.

if something is up in the relationship, you'd know from your relationship experences with her, not from the fact taht she is on Plenty of Fish.

if there are other things goin on in the relationsihp that are making you question her motive, then perhaps you should address those issues in conjunction with the Plenty of Fish issue. be careful here though, if it turns out to be nothing you look like a creepy stalker for checking up on her like that :)
Author:  ariana [ Sun Oct 17, 2010 3:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New GF still using her POF account. Should I confront h
kind of agree with sexcellent here

i know this is hard for you to see but points to consider:
1. you went there too, so does it look like you are online if she checks??
2. on balance, based on other things she does and says do you essentially trust her, and if not why were you checking up on her??
3. using POF to meet new guys is not the same as just checking your emails/messages - i think she prob gets loads of emails in her regular inbox prompting her to go back to the site - maybe she was 'bored at work' too?
4. yes you should bring this up, but when you are calm and diplomatically not accusatory, and if you can handle that essentially you were checking up on her and think she is lying to you (you may want to be open and honest about what you did and apologise), think about your trust issues and how you can learn to trust more, and if want to tell her that you are concerned about getting hurt. i think if you dont talk about it it will eat you up and you will just keep checking every day - it will mess with your head and maybe ruin a perfectly good relationship
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