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The Perfect Girl...with a Child.
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=76639		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Vitamin-J [ Sun Oct 10, 2010 3:20 am ]
Post subject:  The Perfect Girl...with a Child.
For those of you how know me (probably from the chat) you know that I started in this game sometime ago as text book AFC, over the past few years I've made leaps and bounds in regards to meeting and getting to know girls and people around me, this game has taught me to communicate on a level that once only came out when I had my sales face on and that being said I've become quite good at it.

After sometime of having fun, a few relationships, too many learning experiences, I have grown as both a PUA and more importantly as a man. I have few fears in social interactions these days and have coached a number of guys into the momentum they need to make the same positive life changes that I have pushed myself through in years past.

However... a few months ago I met a girl at a local bar that was only meant to be a warm-up set, but has now put me on a roller coaster ride causing me to learn and adapt my game in many ways, has taught me about working passed the barriers put up by an experienced, highly intelligent woman, a fellow gamer and most importantly as it pertains to this post...a single mother of a 10 year old son that has never known his father.

When I met this girl it was basic game, I moved through the motions like i did with any other girl, but something was different, she had things figured out on a level that people years her senior couldn't began to comprehend....I moved on with the night, closed the number and called her that night, we just clicked.

From there we got to know each other however she was guarded, she had explained to me some of her past relationships, where they went wrong and how they hurt her and her son, making it very clear that she would never put her son in the place to be hurt again. I listened with respect and explained that I was here to get to know her, what happens, happens. In the weeks passing she reminded me (too many times) that she moves a certain pace, and that it would be a long time if I ever got to meet her son, "I don't let guys around my son" she would say sometimes out of the blue.

It's been about two months now of us spending time together on a regular basis and I felt it was time to stop the games, we had a nice night out, a few drinks and we had the conversation regarding us seeing other people (we are both gamers after all) we agreed if we are going to put this much time in to it, it's about time we both let the other people we are dating go (for her one other guy, for me 4 other girls)

Now for the part that I look to my peers for advise, she asked me..."Do you want to be my, boyfriend?" "yes" I replied, "of course", "Then come to family dinner on Tuesday, with me, my parents, and my son" I agreed. Now, I cant help but be somewhat haunted with what that actually means. Her Son.

As PUA's we look into many different aspects of interpersonal relationships, from the meet to the physical and on to (not to sound cheesy) learning to love yourself and the person you are with, but what about the dynamic of a child that has never known his father... I can be hurt, whatever, she can be hurt, she's an adult she'll get over it. But adding the variable of a kid that is at the stage of his life to really need a positive male role model to teach him to be a man, how to treat a woman, how to get his first kiss. This is beyond my game, young children (0-6) are easy. But at this point I am speaking of, a girl that is an absolute inner 10, taking a step that is designed to test me to see if I am ready to take on her highest responsibility and highest priority in life.

I'm not going to lie, I think I'm in love with this girl, but the thought of being responsible for a young man's development is not only something I would be honored to do, it also scares the shit out of me...

Any thoughts form people that have been in this spot or been close to this kind of situation your insight would be most appreciated. (I think mystery method skipped this part of social dynamics)
Author:  GrayAdams [ Sun Oct 10, 2010 4:10 am ]
Post subject: 
The way you talk about wanting to be a positive role model for the kid because he needs one already shows that you have what it takes to be just that. Being in the game, you know how to treat and respect women, and a ten year old will learn just by watching you.

I work with kids a lot in my community and it's easy to be a good role model, but it's also easy to slip up a little. The fact though that you worry about it and that it scares you is GOOD. It shows ya care.

But however it goes, good luck!
Author:  chartgraves [ Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:50 am ]
Post subject: 
I've found myself in the exact same situation recently. I've already met the kid and family - I'm still scared/nervous though for the same reasons you are. Keep us updated :)
Author:  Mr_Amazing [ Wed Oct 13, 2010 5:56 am ]
Post subject: 
i have a few questions...so how old is this woman with the 10 year old? and how old are you? why isn`t or wasn`t the father in the kid`s life?...she said her son was hurt. what happened with that?
Author:  Pickup Truck [ Wed Oct 13, 2010 7:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Vitamin - Fantastic story.

It's great to see the happiness you present when typing each word of your life tales for our entertainment; we can all see she is something special to you and it's awesome that the game has helped you along to achieve someone so well matched for yourself.

In regards to the child; think of it as PUA all over again. Consider yourself as an "AFC" in parenting. Doing your research and being with the child in person will help you gel, bond and gain knowledge on how to progress in that particular field; and soon it will become second nature to you. There's nothing to worry about, think of it as an exciting challenge and the prospect of achieving something further great is something that should drive you to sucess.

Good luck, mate.
Author:  Vitamin-J [ Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
i have a few questions...so how old is this woman with the 10 year old? and how old are you? why isn`t or wasn`t the father in the kid`s life?...she said her son was hurt. what happened with that?

She is 30 and I am 24 (I've always gone for older girls) I don't know the whole story behind the father however when her son was every young (to young to remember his dad) the father was locked up with a 30 year sentience, I don't know why, she hasn't offered the information and I'm not going to push for it.


Her son was hurt in the sense that in a few past relationship she's had, he's met and grew close to the guy she was with and when it falls apart, he loses the male father figure in his life. at one point he asked her the guy in her last relationship if he could call him Dad, the guy was not ok with it and really didn't have much interest in the kid at all.

She need to make sure that the guy she ends up with, will take her and her son, they're a matched pair.
Author:  Vitamin-J [ Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Vitamin - Fantastic story.

It's great to see the happiness you present when typing each word of your life tales for our entertainment; we can all see she is something special to you and it's awesome that the game has helped you along to achieve someone so well matched for yourself.

In regards to the child; think of it as PUA all over again. Consider yourself as an "AFC" in parenting. Doing your research and being with the child in person will help you gel, bond and gain knowledge on how to progress in that particular field; and soon it will become second nature to you. There's nothing to worry about, think of it as an exciting challenge and the prospect of achieving something further great is something that should drive you to sucess.

Good luck, mate.

Thanks Pickup Truck, I really didn't think of it like that, makes sense tho.

thanks brother
Author:  Mr_Amazing [ Thu Oct 14, 2010 6:11 am ]
Post subject: 
based on the info you gave on the woman and her family situation, i think you should proceed with caution. i too had a phase where i chased after the older women, so i know all about how good "experienced" pussy feels. lol. but you also have to realize that older women come with a lot baggage, emotional and physical. just be honest with yourself...do you want to really father this woman`s child or are you just willing to in order to be in this woman`s life?...think about it.
Author:  Vitamin-J [ Thu Oct 14, 2010 9:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mr_Amazing


Thank you for your input, many of my friends that are in the game have asked the same thing and it is a valid and respectful concern, we have decided to introduce myself to her kid as her friend, physical contact affection will be virtually not practiced in front of him.


your concern of baggage is not to far off, how ever although many down sides (MANY) that have become evident, I understand that much of this will passed with a little time. I am not new to this game, I have met and been with many different girls from many different spots in there life, this one makes good logical sense, and she pretty cute too.

she is on the same page as me on an intellectual level and is a dating guru for lack of a better term, I'm talking published book and all. I feel the mental connection is worth it.

I my self don't have much patience for very young children, the dippers and constant need is something I have an issue dealing with, I don't want kids myself so finding someone with a kid that is at the age that I really enjoy is kinda cool, I can teach him to fish and hunt, how to change oil and how to be a man. that really is something I didn't know I look forward to, her and her son are a package deal. we're going to take things slowly so her son doesn't make any unnecessary attachments to me until we move to the point that we can say with a logical mind that this will probably work. we are super fresh having only been together for a few months, however on my part it's a big thing for her to allow me to even be around her son.
Author:  zappo [ Thu Oct 14, 2010 9:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ive been in a situation before where I could have been a FB with a girl with a kid . I didnt.It wasnt because of the kid thing though it was something else . Either way heres the thread that i posted a few months ago with quite a few quality answers by some quality people . how-many-of-you-would-date-a-girl-who-h ... ht=#367352

And I admire and envy you in a way , youve took a big step and well your taking on a lot of responsibility , stepping up to being a real man .
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