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Girlfriend Blowing me off, Exit signs
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Author:  Dizzler [ Mon Sep 06, 2010 7:32 am ]
Post subject:  Girlfriend Blowing me off, Exit signs
I need someone to snap me out of this. My GF and I broke up last saturday and got back together a few days later. She dumped me and came back to saying it was rash, so I took her back. For a few days things were good, but lately she hasn't been showing her typical enthusiasm, affection, or frequent IOI's. On top of that, she hasn't been sleeping with me, apparently she claims it's her "Libido, and that she hasn't been feeling well". It's been about a week since we had sex. Then Friday night, we were planning to hang out, she kept moving plans around and about and pushing our rendezvous back and back until it was about 2 am (She blew me off to go see friends and drink) and I walked to her house to fall asleep, she was supposed to come to mine but guilt tripped me into making the 10 minute walk (in a very safe neighborhood). So then Saturday afternoon we hung out and she was super weird the entire time, and then she was having another "girls night", she went to a random party and got really drunk, then felt sick all day today and couldn't hang out because of it. Then she cancelled plans with me to have another "girls night". On top of all this, it has been a common cycle lately of her to go out and binge drink, get sick to the point that she has to cancel plans then as soon as she feels better she starts drinking agian.


This behavior, IMO, is bullshit. Especially after breaking up with me, doing some sketchy some stuff, then jerking me around. I need someone to snap me out of it so I can have the strength to dump her. Am I over-reacting or do you guys agree? Plzzzz help!
Author:  a40536 [ Mon Sep 06, 2010 10:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend Blowing me off, Exit signs
Quote:
This behavior, IMO, is bullshit. Especially after breaking up with me, doing some sketchy some stuff, then jerking me around. I need someone to snap me out of it so I can have the strength to dump her. Am I over-reacting or do you guys agree? Plzzzz help!
There is clearly something amiss as she is making excuses not to see you, yet when you two broke up she feels fear of loss.

If you love her, make her change her feelings and perception and relise why she loved you in the first place.

If you don’t then do the kindest thing for all and either get her to split up with you again or split up with her, which ever you think will hurt her less.
Author:  Sektor [ Tue Sep 07, 2010 7:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Sounds to me like she's stringing you along until something better comes along. I'd break it off. I never it's not so cut and dry, but that's my blunt opinion judging by her actions
Author:  Junglepimp [ Tue Sep 07, 2010 2:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
In such cases although affection does exist, the spark gets replaced by monotony. It's usually the result of spending too much of time together. You need to learn to snap out of it just when it's going good once in a while. Eg: Ending the convo when it's going great. That leaves her wanting for more, just like she leaves you wanting for more. A relationship is about balance. If you show too much of affection, there wouldn't be much left for her to show.

As for your current situation, try a new self-dependent attitude. Find fun things to do in her absence (there are ample). Basically do everything you can to come off as a non-needy person, of high value.

If that does not work, then of course, seeing as how you've tried your best, you could consider breaking up. Although, I wouldn't recommend for you to take up the "what if she leaves me.. I WANT TO BE THE ONE THAT LEAVES" mindset. It'll take your focus off the actual problems in the relationship and you'll end up merely playing (and even losing) a game. So, remain genuine at all times. Good luck. :)
Author:  Dizzler [ Wed Sep 08, 2010 2:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
I broke up with her yesterday. I did so, because after talking to her about blowing me off, and explaining to her I wouldn't put up with it, she did it again the exact same night, getting drunk and blowing off our plans. Apparently she said that she hasn't been single for years and is worried that she won't ever get the opportunity again if she doesn't seize it now. She made it clear she is doing this for self-improvement. She genuinely has some issues to work out and I believe her when she said she wasn;t doing this to be with other guys.

It was the strangest break up ever. We were laughing at the end of it, and remembering the fun times we had. She told me she loved me and that "sometime if you love something you have to let it go to see if it comes back to you". I left on good terms. She came over later to bring my fan and when she saw me she smiled and ran up an hugged me. She expressed her love and regret that this was necessary but also her want to come back to me.

I told her she new where I lived when she was ready, but made no guarantee's. Looking back on the break-up I was AFC in that I told her I would be around for a bit hoping she would come back, I still loved her, and that we may have a future down the road; however this girl is extremely emotionally unstable and while some of the things I said were true I also said them as to let ehr down as easily as possible because I want her to improver her life for herself without regard to our future. Either way, I give it two weeks before were banging again.

LESSSON LEARNED!
We spent too much time together, period. That was the downfall. Be careful guys.

thoughts? advice? opinions?

P.S.: In no way shape or form am I under the unrealistic impression she isn't going to sleep with other guys. She said she may not, but she is freaky, and I don't by that BS.
Author:  Little Panda [ Wed Sep 08, 2010 3:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Break up RIGHT NOW.
Author:  TIC [ Wed Sep 08, 2010 4:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
You need to dump her immediately. This is your chance to have the upper hand and keep it. She clearly isn't worth your time and it will end one way or another. Hopefully you've been spinning plates and have another girl that you can call to hang out right after
Author:  Dizzler [ Wed Sep 08, 2010 7:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah I already have two things lined up for the weekend :) really feeling lie a legit PUA after all this
Author:  jellysandwich5 [ Thu Sep 09, 2010 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend Blowing me off, Exit signs
Quote:
She dumped me and came back to saying it was rash, so I took her back.
Reference for the future guys. Never ever take them back so easily, no matter what. Make them work for it. HARD.
Author:  hustler101 [ Fri Sep 10, 2010 5:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yes she probably has another guy she's seeing. And she's using you because things are not serious with that guy yet. She probably doesn't want to get in a relationship with him, but at the same time things are not going well with you 2.
Best thing to do is to confront her aggressively and beat the truth out of her(NOT PHYSICALLY). Construct an argument b4 hand and be ready to dump her right there and then
Author:  Dizzler [ Sat Sep 11, 2010 9:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Yes she probably has another guy she's seeing. And she's using you because things are not serious with that guy yet. She probably doesn't want to get in a relationship with him, but at the same time things are not going well with you 2.
Best thing to do is to confront her aggressively and beat the truth out of her(NOT PHYSICALLY). Construct an argument b4 hand and be ready to dump her right there and then
A real PUA, would say whatever, and move on to the next girl because a real PUA knows that he deserves the best, can get the best, and doesn't sweat some skank who he dated for three months. I told her to take her independence because I don't need her. and if she has some other guy, not only do I not care anymore, but I'll gain satisfaction from knowing he is getting my sloppy seconds.
Author:  whysoskinny [ Mon Sep 13, 2010 5:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
To tell you the truth I think you would do yourself good breaking it off. Break it off and she will be the one in the dark and coming back to you.
Author:  Junglepimp [ Mon Sep 13, 2010 6:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend Blowing me off, Exit signs
Quote:
Quote:
She dumped me and came back to saying it was rash, so I took her back.
Reference for the future guys. Never ever take them back so easily, no matter what. Make them work for it. HARD.

That's quite right. That's what I did. It makes them realize the value of your company.
Author:  yeskahz [ Tue Sep 14, 2010 6:47 am ]
Post subject: 
I've been going through this exact same thing right now. Has to be the spending too much time together thing. I'm freezing her out as of now. I have a few pivots and they are also on my facebook and she has been trying to go through now to get into contact me........She'll have to wait.
Author:  Girlock [ Tue Sep 14, 2010 8:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 2:12 pm Post subject:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In such cases although affection does exist, the spark gets replaced by monotony. It's usually the result of spending too much of time together. You need to learn to snap out of it just when it's going good once in a while. Eg: Ending the convo when it's going great. That leaves her wanting for more, just like she leaves you wanting for more. A relationship is about balance. If you show too much of affection, there wouldn't be much left for her to show.

As for your current situation, try a new self-dependent attitude. Find fun things to do in her absence (there are ample). Basically do everything you can to come off as a non-needy person, of high value.

If that does not work, then of course, seeing as how you've tried your best, you could consider breaking up. Although, I wouldn't recommend for you to take up the "what if she leaves me.. I WANT TO BE THE ONE THAT LEAVES" mindset. It'll take your focus off the actual problems in the relationship and you'll end up merely playing (and even losing) a game. So, remain genuine at all times. Good luck.
nice post!
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