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SEX! er.. libidos?
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Author:  smartass [ Sun Aug 15, 2010 3:09 am ]
Post subject:  SEX! er.. libidos?

I met my current GF a year ago. Back then, everything was amazing! We were having sex twice a day and she couldn't get enough! I was actually unable to keep up, but more than willing to oblige! Things started waning around month 6.

We've had a total of 3 talks about her loss of interest in sex. The last one culminated in her changing her birth control to see if that helps. (2 weeks ago)

Now, I happen to think sex is an important part of a relationship. I'm not sure what to do here. I don't want to give her up, but I don't want to fall into one of those stereotypical "sex on birthdays and holidays" couples.

(BTW, did anyone ever hear that the best way to keep a man from cheating is to f*** him more often than he wants to? I'm not a cheater, but damn if some of the girls around me are looking good!)

Author:  TheLastWolf [ Mon Aug 16, 2010 5:05 am ]
Post subject: 

did she recently start/switch bc pills?

Author:  smartass [ Mon Aug 16, 2010 6:36 am ]
Post subject: 

she's been on the pill since she was 15, but switched 2 weeks ago to see if it helps.

She says it has, but I'm unconvinced because she's still not initiating/reciprocating much.

Author:  Owinover [ Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:48 pm ]
Post subject: 

You should switch it up.. different positions, different places, and throw in some handcuffs and blindfolds, maybe have her dress up and stuff

Author:  tomatoRAWR [ Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:45 pm ]
Post subject: 

agree with Owinover, switch it up. be exciting. she probably liked the sex so much in the beginning because it was lust. bring it back you two have most likely changed (in a good way) and if your guys sex doesnt change with you then maybe shes just not feeling like it used to be

Author:  Jobert [ Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:20 am ]
Post subject: 

I agree as well. If sex is routine and boring, she isn't going to want to do it as much. Keep it interesting, and different.

Author:  dilin1984 [ Tue Aug 31, 2010 9:52 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
You should switch it up.. different positions, different places, and throw in some handcuffs and blindfolds, maybe have her dress up and stuff
best answer for your problem i think.

Still you can have a good talk on what you feel and what you need.

Author:  returner217 [ Tue Aug 31, 2010 10:06 am ]
Post subject: 

One may make sex exciting only if it exists. Not many options to make "headache" exciting.

Author:  Chester167 [ Tue Aug 31, 2010 4:49 pm ]
Post subject: 

the only gf ive had where this has actually happened to me was when I was 17 I moved in with my gf for 2 years and after the first 8 months (moved in then a year later we got like this after living together..... i ended up cheating.. a LOT... which destroyed us... we are ok now.. years years later.. we dont talk much and shes married but we have no hard feelings....

if she doesnt smarten up.. you will probably cheat.. its natural to happen.. both ways..
in a relationship if you arent getting the things you seek from it you will seek them (maybe just those specific things) some place else...in your case.. sex. She might also be if she is truly just bored with it..

hers my advice on THIS situation cuz my gf right now and i break up ev other day cuz she thinks im cheating all the fukn time but consistently our sex-life is amazing and evolving all the time...even after we fight... we'll hav esex be closest ever.. so sweet to each other and then fight the next morning... baaaaah.. nother topic..

my suggestions in order of which you should do them..

1. if youre not very good at it or if you have a small tool... then that could be part of the problem..if you're not hitting her key spots inside and out. it was fun at first no matter what cuz its new but now shes not getting there... are you making her cum a lot? 1 - 10 times per session? at all? can you make her cum with your tongue? your fingers? your cok? you should figure out how to with al of these thigns and use them together...... there are probably books on this but if you've had experiences you should know how to position yourself so that when ur inside you can hit certain spots.. if your big its easier .. u can use ur fingers first.. make her cum a few times that way.. etc..... if you suck at sex.. get better.. ASAP...cuz maybe the problem is you not her....

2. foreplay.... dont just launch into it... i dont even mean romantic candle bs...but like last night my gf and i were watching bad santa and just chillin on my bed...holding hands kissing randomly.. drinkin a beer... after we put on kung fu panda and then started kissing more... id rub her belly and her tits and legs etc.. nothing invasive yet... id get on top look her in the eyes... stare at her with a confident smirk on my face.. she gets relyl turned on by it.. kiss her slowly.. etc every where.. then she took my pjs off and went down. la la la...


3. EVOLVE....... if youre still just sukn then fukn .. ur boring... ... if she snot open to talking about sex..... have some drinks together... film urselves....(make sure shes comfy enuff with you and trusts you.. n dont EVER betray that..no matter what)... while shes tipsy and u are.. talk about fantasies.. naughty things.. try some...(careful with threesum talk..).. anything from positions to anal to ass to mouth .. seriously talk about EVERYthing.... this will turn her on and also get her excited to try sex agian.. then once established you can pull out anal.. a2m..... swallowing to just really sensual sex any time.. vary it.. so many more options open up....

4. if shes "turned off" by anything but "normal" sex.. then thats boring for you. its like girls that claim they dont like oral (giving or getting).... if you cant persuade her to be more open minded.....or if she just straight up wont be..

you will get bored
you will cheat
she will cheat
you will hate each other after cheating happens


best to end it early....

of course i think sex is a really important part of a relationship so if it snot satisfactory it wont last..

Author:  BigRyana [ Thu Sep 02, 2010 2:30 am ]
Post subject: 

I have a degree in psychology, paying special attention to human sexuality as it pertains to psychology, and I have encountered this type of issue before. I can start by saying that your sex life with her will unfortunately (in most cases) never be as good as you initially had it with this girl.
Next, the main thing working against you (and everyone else in a relationship) is being, well YOU. Sexual arousal/excitement peaks early in the relationship and there is not much we can do about it (I will get to what we can in a minute).
Humans in general need new and different stimuli (regarding sex) to stay at the same level of arousal over a period of time. Think of a drug user who constantly needs more of that drug to get as high as they did the first few times.
Enough of the negativity, let's get to the things that can help.
As many people stated above, which was absolutely correct: You need to change your sexual habits and try new things, such as having new adventures (think sex in public, or anything crazy like this). This has been proven to extend the arousal period. She has to be willing to attempt these new things. If she has lost all interest in sex with you and views it as an obligation, it is already too late.

For guys that want to avoid this problem in future relationships:
Extend the time-frame for when you have sex after the initial encounter, and keep control of this schedule. Instead of having sex 5 times everyday for the first two months, have sex 4 or 5 times a week, and turn her down (let her know you are interested and attracted, but this isn't the right time) when she advances. Keep it a challenge for her. This has been proven to keep sex lives active and more fulfilling over longer periods. Once a female loses interest, she is ready to move on (this is not a conscious choice, and you can't discuss it with her on an intellectual level) sexually. She may not leave, but your sex life will suffer and neither one of you will be happy sexually.
This ended up a long post, hope it helps somewhat.

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