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Is this normal behavior?
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Author:  Checkfigure1 [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 12:05 am ]
Post subject:  Is this normal behavior?

My girl really confuses me sometimes. She constantly stresses about my ex girlfriends. My girl and I dated previously before our current relationship. We broke up for about 2 years. In that time frame I had one serious relationship. Meanwhile she had two boyfriends and had sex with a third guy.

At first she was really worried that I would leave her and go back to date my ex girlfriend. I convinced her that would never happen. Now she always is mad that she wasn't with me those two years. I can understand her missing me, but she just can't let it go. Frequently she will get upset because she thinks we might be somewhere that I visited with my ex. I tell her that I might have been and she just gets full of rage. Sometimes she says she doesn't know if she can be with me because it stresses her out so bad that I had feelings for someone else while we were broken up. I point to the fact that she was with multiple guys, but she says that it's not the same. Then she says she is jealous of me that I can get over that she was with other guys, but she can't get over that I was with another girl. This is just a brief description of how pissed she can get. She knows I love her and would never do anything to hurt her. Her problem is she can't let go of the fact that I was with another girl. How do I help her get over this problem?

Thanks

Author:  ktime70 [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 3:37 am ]
Post subject: 

remind her that she also saw other people...

or dump her and tell her it's because she's too insecure

Author:  confusedcalifornian [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 10:39 pm ]
Post subject: 

Insecurity is a trait that you can't sure no matter how hard you try. I have dated insecure women, and it's always too much work and it never works out in the end. Endless "I love you"s and compliments will not clear her insecurity. You may want to consider moving on.

Author:  Conker [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 1:33 pm ]
Post subject: 

Oh wow, she said "It's not the same..." ...why the fuck not????? Incredible....

Author:  Conker [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 1:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

Actually I just talked to a female friend and she explained it's most likely because you had one GF it meant more to you both, whereas she had 2 short relationships and a 3rd sex partner so it didn't mean as much cause it wasn't as long term.

She said she's still being a bit crazy going rage just cause you're somewhere where you both might have been before, but can still see where she's coming from.

Author:  Little Panda [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 1:50 pm ]
Post subject: 

Ahhhh..... Psycho chicks. Had a lot of experience with those.

She's either gonna have to accept that you love her and won't ever do anything to hurt her - or she will have to accept that you guys can't be together because of her insecurities.

.... Also, don't date psycho chicks in the future.

Author:  Sticksie [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 1:53 pm ]
Post subject: 

Ok I think sometimes you just have to be an asshole. I had a girl like this once. I told her I was getting sick of hearing it not to mention it again. It's a stupid notion and she should cut it out. (basicly indirectly threatend to dump her) she cut it out.

Either way I think it's just a selfinsh cry for attention... Endless I love you's wont work on a girl like that. You have to put your foot down and after a while she'll forget about it.

Author:  Checkfigure1 [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 5:38 pm ]
Post subject: 

You guys are all right...my girl is VERY insecure!!! I got bitched at because I accidentally had a teddy bear from an ex, buried under a pile of clothes in my closet that I haven't cleaned out in about 2 years. She found it and went off on me. She really demonstrated the severity of her insecureness.

She is also very insecure about wanting please her nasty friend. About 5 or 6 times a week, she has her hang out with us. Her friend is disgusting, ugly, short, and fat. My girl is so worried that she will lose her as a friend. I try to put up with her friend, but it really wears on me. I tried to tell her that I don't want her hanging with us all the time, and she gets mad and says she is just trying to be a good friend and she doesn't want to feel like she has to choose between me and her. It drives me nuts. Is professional conseling the only hope, or is there something I should be doing?

thanks

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