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| So, here we are - read if you have a moment... https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=70764 |
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| Author: | Riot! [ Thu Jul 08, 2010 8:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | So, here we are - read if you have a moment... |
18 Months ago I pretty much disappeared from this board. I was never a particularly avid poster, so I doubt I was missed - but I did always read the valuable information. I've returned tonight. ...We broke up. Heartbreaking stuff if I'm honest - alot of what I learned here helped me get her. My first actual long term relationship, and (I don't blame the sniggers here) what I was hoped was the only one. An ideal that can never be true, but alot of us have been there, and alot of us have hoped. A lover, a best friend, and a truly amazing person. Things got a bit rough for her recently (I'm not excusing anything), I won't spread the dirt, but things fell apart in her family repeatedly in the worse possible way. It's been tough. Tonight, 2 weeks after getting back together (we split for like a day after a row, she couldn't deal with it while the grievances in her own family), she told me she was no longer in love with me. She loved me. She couldn't put into words how much I've meant in her life. But she's not in love, anymore. I'm not going to cry about getting her back, because I'm done - I have to move on, pursue things - dammit, this relationship has sucked alot of my time - I work all day and have alot of other commitments, so I've been busy as hell. It can only be good. I just have to say it out loud. Because, I am fucking broken. I'm man enough to say I've shed a tear...but I took it well. I asked why, when...but kept it brief. Collected my stuff calmly and left. We hugged, but I didn't linger. I wished her well. Then left. My initial plan was to just take a massive break from everything. Not contact her at all for a week - maybe a phone call after that week (we are meant to be attending the same party in 7 days) to see how she is - they miss you by that point right? But I'll probably just ditch it for a total avoidance. That's just the afc talking. I won't lie and say I wouldn't want her back...but I have to be strong I guess. I was even thinking of avoiding Facebook for a week...just to get away from everything. Silence for a while. I like the idea of silence. But it's the start of new things...I need to rebuild my life, as towards the end, I admit AFC was creeping in. By no means taking over - but the unsureness with everything dragged me back into the anxious man I used to be. I can blame myself, but that won't help. And as I try and drag myself out of the emotional gutter - depressed as hell, I just want to say. I'm looking to the future. I'm back. And I'm ready to change. Kick start lesson 1, back to basics with inner game eh? I've finished rambling. Any support, tips would be useful. But I've vented, so that could be enough for me. Look forward to sharing advice - giving and listening - with you all again. Game = PUA. Start? Riot. |
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| Author: | Tundra [ Thu Jul 08, 2010 10:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
The uncertainty starts recreating the AFC in you, and then you slowly lose what made you. I wish I knew how to avoid it my first time, because I can tell you that the first couple months were a thousand times better than the last couple, it was like totally different people interacting. You start feeling guilty because you aren't who you marketed yourself to be, or at least you let things (her things) change you in ways that make you feel like a weaker person, "not the person she fell in love with". That shit is HARD to come back from, I'm working on it myself, but I have to say you got some tough skin if you're able to put that behind you. But I've found that finding another girl isn't as hard as it seems, you just have to get out of the rut, that's the most difficult part. |
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| Author: | FraserTrojan [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:15 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hey Riot, Something about your post made me sit up.I think it's becuse nearly every fucking guy on the planet can relate to wat ur feeling right now in one way or another. I ; know it hurts dude, but ur gonna tip-top again in a few months. A few pointers tho: a) You gotta move on-just for your own sanity. If you spend the next few months thinking about her, wat she might be doing, how she is ect, that's just torturing you. Defo let her go dude. b) Respect for the way you've handled yourself so far...always keep dignity intact. Kiss on the forehead, Chin-up and breeze out is the way break up with someone.it oozes alpha. c) Although you have to put this behind you, you should try and take at least one or two lessons form it. a good way to do this is to look uo the ''attraction switches'' and ask yourself: ''what did i stop doing in this relationship to stop her falling in love with me?" take a few points, vow to never do it again, then move that shit on. don't linger. d) Start going out again and meeting women. sure you ll be rusty but you'd be amazed how much better you ll feel wen you have women hanging off your arm again. I garuntee in 6 months time you ll be feeling A LOT BETTER. Probably be back on here asking wat to do about another hot girl you really like lol. I don't mean to be harsh dude, but she said she's not in love with you anymore so fuck her. move on. find someone else to go get excited about. ''Life's a bitch, sometimes you just gotta fuck it'' hope this helps dude. e) |
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