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Uncomfortable..
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Author:  DontHitMe [ Wed Jul 07, 2010 8:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Uncomfortable..

I don't really agree with drinking until you get intoxicated and I'm strongly against it. My girlfriend goes to partys from time to time and I trust her and don't set up any "rules" (I told her I trust her and she can do whatever she wants when she goes out) but she knows the way I feel about drinking and how its disappointing to me when she gets drunk and I think for that reason she avoids it.

The other day she wanted to go to a party that was about an hour away from home with her co-workers that she's never hung out with outside of work and needless to say I've never meet any of them. She invited me to go with her but since I'm not really a party person I declined at first.

Later that day she told me she might end up sleeping somewhere (she didn't know where) but she wanted to party apparently so then I later agreed to come with here and meet her friends.

The next day told her that I wasn't comfortable with her going to partys and sleeping at a random persons house especially so far away.

When we got home later that day she then asked me if I'd be comfortable with her driving 6 hours to meet one of her guy friends from college and sleeping at his house for the weekend because she had apparently been making plans to go see him. I've never meet him and I told her I wasn't comfortable with that, she said that she understands but she wants me to meet him and maybe we could drive down there together so I could?

Am I acting AFC here or are these normal things to not be okay with..

Author:  Prince_ [ Wed Jul 07, 2010 10:07 pm ]
Post subject: 

your not really afc cause this is a relationship and you have to be honest. i just act like its no big deal and my girl told me a while ago she likes that i dont get crazy when she wants to hang out with her guy friends like her last b/f.

Author:  Adam90192 [ Thu Jul 08, 2010 2:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Uncomfortable..

Quote:
I don't really agree with drinking until you get intoxicated and I'm strongly against it. My girlfriend goes to partys from time to time and I trust her and don't set up any "rules" (I told her I trust her and she can do whatever she wants when she goes out) but she knows the way I feel about drinking and how its disappointing to me when she gets drunk and I think for that reason she avoids it.

The other day she wanted to go to a party that was about an hour away from home with her co-workers that she's never hung out with outside of work and needless to say I've never meet any of them. She invited me to go with her but since I'm not really a party person I declined at first.

Later that day she told me she might end up sleeping somewhere (she didn't know where) but she wanted to party apparently so then I later agreed to come with here and meet her friends.

The next day told her that I wasn't comfortable with her going to partys and sleeping at a random persons house especially so far away.

When we got home later that day she then asked me if I'd be comfortable with her driving 6 hours to meet one of her guy friends from college and sleeping at his house for the weekend because she had apparently been making plans to go see him. I've never meet him and I told her I wasn't comfortable with that, she said that she understands but she wants me to meet him and maybe we could drive down there together so I could?

Am I acting AFC here or are these normal things to not be okay with..
I don't think your acting AFC at all. What is her relationship with this old friend anyway??

Author:  ktime70 [ Thu Jul 08, 2010 3:34 am ]
Post subject: 

AFC if there's no reason not to trust her!

Author:  DontHitMe [ Thu Jul 08, 2010 7:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Uncomfortable..

Quote:
Quote:
I don't really agree with drinking until you get intoxicated and I'm strongly against it. My girlfriend goes to partys from time to time and I trust her and don't set up any "rules" (I told her I trust her and she can do whatever she wants when she goes out) but she knows the way I feel about drinking and how its disappointing to me when she gets drunk and I think for that reason she avoids it.

The other day she wanted to go to a party that was about an hour away from home with her co-workers that she's never hung out with outside of work and needless to say I've never meet any of them. She invited me to go with her but since I'm not really a party person I declined at first.

Later that day she told me she might end up sleeping somewhere (she didn't know where) but she wanted to party apparently so then I later agreed to come with here and meet her friends.

The next day told her that I wasn't comfortable with her going to partys and sleeping at a random persons house especially so far away.

When we got home later that day she then asked me if I'd be comfortable with her driving 6 hours to meet one of her guy friends from college and sleeping at his house for the weekend because she had apparently been making plans to go see him. I've never meet him and I told her I wasn't comfortable with that, she said that she understands but she wants me to meet him and maybe we could drive down there together so I could?

Am I acting AFC here or are these normal things to not be okay with..
I don't think your acting AFC at all. What is her relationship with this old friend anyway??
he's just a friend she met at college this year who she wants to vist.

It's not that I don't trust her really, I just find it a very strange situation to drive 6 hours to go see some boy and sleep over at his house isn't something that a person should be doing with someone that's the opposite sex. I declined one of my friends that are girls to go to block island with her because we would have to share a hotel together if it went and I don't think I should be sharing hotel rooms with other women as it overall just isn't a good situation to be in when you're in a relationship (I didn't tell or ask my girlfriend about this by the way)... it's just not appropriate i think.

Author:  Conker [ Thu Jul 08, 2010 1:43 pm ]
Post subject: 

Well I always guide conversation in the direction, very early on, about what people like as boundaries. I ask theoretical questions, tell them stories, and get their opinion on things.

Me I am a pretty open guy. I can handle a lot of things and even encourage them, as long as I'm sure of the motive behind it.

She offered for you to come - that's pretty good. If it's feasible, you should take her up on it. It will teach you some things about her.

You could probably tell her you turned down the offer with the girls in the hotel, but maybe if you talk to her she'll let you know that stuff is okay as long as she knows about it before hand. That situation is up to you of course, but you might have a more open minded girl here, it might pay to learn to be a bit more open minded yourself. We can learn things from other people.

Author:  ktime70 [ Thu Jul 08, 2010 2:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Uncomfortable..

Quote:

It's not that I don't trust her really

I just find it a very strange situation to drive 6 hours to go see some boy and sleep over at his house isn't something that a person should be doing with someone that's the opposite sex

it's just not appropriate i think.
If she was Bisexual, would you stop her seeing ALL her friends from college?

It is that you don't trust. maybe it's that you don't trust ANYONE to not sleep with a member of the opposite sex when the opportunity is there, but regardless, it is a trust issue. the fact you denied your "opportunity" suggests to me that you might have been tempted if you were put in the situation (attractive friend, miles from home, no way for the GF to find out)

Author:  confusedcalifornian [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 9:37 pm ]
Post subject: 

I don't believe that you trust her. 100% trust is 100% trust. Her wanting to visit a guy friend would not seem out of place and would not make you uncomfortable if you knew with 100% certainty that she would not let anything happen.

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