PUA Forum :: Advice welcome, not sure how to handle this.

she now wants us to have sex without using a condom

I saw my friend get royaly fucked as his then girlfriend decided to stop taking the pill without telling him.

I'm not sure how to deal with this, I've expressed my concerns but I'm met with a volatile reaction "you don't trust me, you don't love me, there's no point in me even being on it"(I didn't ask/want her to go on it).

Are you serious? No offense man, but your girlfriend is being a total inconsiderate bitch. She is forcing you to do something you feel totally uncomfortable with! I agree with you 100%

It is the same concept as forcing a girl to take birth control when she is afraid of all of the side effects and risks that it carries. Tell her that she is forcing you to do something you don't want to do.

Additionally, birth control is not always 100% effective. You can still get her pregnant when she is taking it. It is also so easy for her to forget her birth control one day and ruin everything.

Don't let your life become ruined because of a girl who is being totally inconsiderate to your fears and concerns.

You're right I didn't do much research haha.

I have heard what you said by word of mouth though. 3-6% chance of pregnancy is actually much higher than I thought. As I was saying, what happens if she totally forgets about it for over 24 hours?

The issue here is more about his girlfriend being inconsiderate to his feelings though. Not as much about the effectiveness of contraceptions. He shouldn't stand for it any way he looks at it.

wow i never realized it was 3-6%. me and my girl never use rubbers and i always fire off the gun in the house. sometimes she will forget, looks like i should talk to her cause we should be due for a baby based on these percents..

Author:	General Lamb [ Sun Jun 27, 2010 12:51 am ]
Post subject:	Advice welcome, not sure how to handle this.
Basically my girlfriend has started to take "the pill", and according to the little leaflet inside she is now "protected". As such she now wants us to have sex without using a condom. However I am uncomfortable with this, I'll explain why. We tried it once so far without a condom, but I still "withdrew". Essentially I don't like having no control over something so important, something that could totally and utterly destroy my life, I saw my friend get royaly fucked as his then girlfriend decided to stop taking the pill without telling him. Now he's a father. Now I don't think that my girlfriend will do the same thing intentionally, but I'm unsure of her competence when it comes to taking pills regularly. As she is on antidepressants and often forgets to take one of them for one or two days at a time. Doing that with this pill would be a disaster. She's also the first girl I've been with that is strictly anti-abortion, which scares the hell out of me, as one slip up and I'm dead. (I don't want children, ever I really really don't!) I'm not sure how to deal with this, I've expressed my concerns but I'm met with a volatile reaction "you don't trust me, you don't love me, there's no point in me even being on it"(I didn't ask/want her to go on it). Feeling pretty stressed, terrified of a pregnancy. I'm just trying to avoid sex at the monent but it's tough to say you're not in the mood when you're stood to attention.

Author:	Don Juan 89 [ Sun Jun 27, 2010 2:07 am ]
Post subject:
Are you serious? No offense man, but your girlfriend is being a total inconsiderate bitch. She is forcing you to do something you feel totally uncomfortable with! I agree with you 100% It is the same concept as forcing a girl to take birth control when she is afraid of all of the side effects and risks that it carries. Tell her that she is forcing you to do something you don't want to do. Additionally, birth control is not always 100% effective. You can still get her pregnant when she is taking it. It is also so easy for her to forget her birth control one day and ruin everything. Don't let your life become ruined because of a girl who is being totally inconsiderate to your fears and concerns.

Author:	a40536 [ Sun Jun 27, 2010 10:19 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Advice welcome, not sure how to handle this.
Quote: she now wants us to have sex without using a condom Some girls like to be covered in spunk..... Quote: I saw my friend get royaly fucked as his then girlfriend decided to stop taking the pill without telling him. Yep.. happened to people i know to, intentianally or not it is so easy to happen, if she forgets the pill on one day, even if you dont have sex with her that day, i believe it still messes up the cycle.. (not 100% sure but it is something like that) Quote: I'm not sure how to deal with this, I've expressed my concerns but I'm met with a volatile reaction "you don't trust me, you don't love me, there's no point in me even being on it"(I didn't ask/want her to go on it). I dunno... tell her you are not happy not using a condom.. and if she puts up objections i would probably try something along the lines of (not polished and sounds a little rubish SPAM, but should do as a base for you!) "i love you and trust you very much but i havent been std tested in a while, and i wouldent want to pass something to you unknowingly and ultimatly when we do have kids eventually onto our child!" Or Even "i love and trust you very much but just like a condom is only 97% effective, birth control is the same so that leaves a 2% chance, that you will get pregnant even on birth control so its better to use both"

Author:	TheLastWolf [ Sun Jun 27, 2010 10:43 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Are you serious? No offense man, but your girlfriend is being a total inconsiderate bitch. She is forcing you to do something you feel totally uncomfortable with! I agree with you 100% It is the same concept as forcing a girl to take birth control when she is afraid of all of the side effects and risks that it carries. Tell her that she is forcing you to do something you don't want to do. Additionally, birth control is not always 100% effective. You can still get her pregnant when she is taking it. It is also so easy for her to forget her birth control one day and ruin everything. Don't let your life become ruined because of a girl who is being totally inconsiderate to your fears and concerns. Totally depends on what pill she is taking. Also, most pills you can take up to 24 hours after forgetting, so lets say you take it at 1pm everyday, you forgot that day, if you take it before 1pm the next day you're fine. Not only that, if you forget to take it within 24 hours, you can take 2 the next day and you'll still be fine. Pill pregnancy rate is below 3%, while misuse of the pill is at 6%(forgetting). I can tell you guys have not done research, and are biased with your posts. None the less, the OP is uncomfortable with no condom and should not do something he doesn't want to do regardless of the consequences of forgetting a pill for a day or two.

Author:	Don Juan 89 [ Sun Jun 27, 2010 11:03 pm ]
Post subject:
You're right I didn't do much research haha. I have heard what you said by word of mouth though. 3-6% chance of pregnancy is actually much higher than I thought. As I was saying, what happens if she totally forgets about it for over 24 hours? The issue here is more about his girlfriend being inconsiderate to his feelings though. Not as much about the effectiveness of contraceptions. He shouldn't stand for it any way he looks at it.

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Author:	TheLastWolf [ Sun Jun 27, 2010 11:10 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: You're right I didn't do much research haha. I have heard what you said by word of mouth though. 3-6% chance of pregnancy is actually much higher than I thought. As I was saying, what happens if she totally forgets about it for over 24 hours? The issue here is more about his girlfriend being inconsiderate to his feelings though. Not as much about the effectiveness of contraceptions. He shouldn't stand for it any way he looks at it. Like I said, totally depends on what type of pill she is taking. If you miss 1 pill(over 24 hours), you just take 2 the next day and it's fine, but again this is totally dependent on the pill she is taking. There are 3 or 4 different kinds of pills, I only know of 2 of those, there's the kind that has 3 different pills for each week of the month. The other one, has the same pill for 3 weeks. The latter is more forgiving if you miss a pill, while the other one as its risks. Again, this OP shouldn't do something he isn't comfortable with, and should express this to his GF not us.

Author:	Prince_ [ Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:12 am ]
Post subject:
wow i never realized it was 3-6%. me and my girl never use rubbers and i always fire off the gun in the house. sometimes she will forget, looks like i should talk to her cause we should be due for a baby based on these percents..

Author:	TheLastWolf [ Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:13 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: wow i never realized it was 3-6%. me and my girl never use rubbers and i always fire off the gun in the house. sometimes she will forget, looks like i should talk to her cause we should be due for a baby based on these percents.. Considering that there are millions of girls on the pill it's very low, trust me.

Author:	pacman2011 [ Mon Jun 28, 2010 1:52 am ]
Post subject:	risky...
Sex + Girl on Pill = Awesome. period. very good thing. However, with her antidepressant thing, you might be getting to risky for my taste. especially with the lack of reliability and the no abortion thing. i agree, shes being a bitch if shes forcing you into it. Just tell her your not comfortable with it, and she should respect that. if not, then she's not worth your respect (if she doesn't respect you) - nor your affection.

Author:	dasani [ Tue Jun 29, 2010 9:17 pm ]
Post subject:
Being someone who got fucked in this sort of situation, if you do not want children now do anything it takes to prevent it - especially if she's against abortion. I won't go into my story but the pill alone without the use of a condom seemed sufficient enough until she stopped taking the pill.

Author:	Panzer [ Sun Jul 04, 2010 1:48 am ]
Post subject:
Honestly dude, I really don't blame you. I came in my girlfriend once over 6 months of BC. I pull out every single time. Even with condoms. I always piss before sex and never have sex again with pissing once or twice in between. I'm that freaking careful lol. Just tell her how important it is that you guys don't get pregnant. If she's worth your time. She'll understand. Besides make it into something sexy. It doesn't have to be just pulling out. Pull out and come in her mouth or something then make her blow you. That's what I do. It's a great way to end it.

Author:	FraserTrojan [ Sun Jul 04, 2010 4:46 pm ]
Post subject:
I totally agree with JUAN on this one...

Author:	PrettyboyDave [ Sun Jul 04, 2010 4:50 pm ]
Post subject:
Pull out and cum on her hair, if she doesn't tell you to start using a condom after that then there is no hope for you.

Author:	Adam90192 [ Thu Jul 08, 2010 2:48 am ]
Post subject:
That's terrible. My cousin was dating this girl for over 3 years and basically after a couple of months they started using no condom because she was on the pill. Eventually, like years down the road she finally wound up pregnant. They had an abortion which basically put the nail in the coffin of their relationship as well. 3-6% isn't huge, but do you really want to risk an unnecessary childbirth, or emotions of an abortion, or how- about having your life changed forever due to having a child. Use a condom and birth control. And for her? tell her all the reasons and posts from above, or you could add some emotional reasons that you want to wait for a special night before you shoot one inside of her.

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Author:	Conker [ Thu Jul 08, 2010 1:49 pm ]
Post subject:
Hey as someone who prefers no condoms, and puts a lot of effort in to setting up a "clean" partner who's reliably on the pill, there's no way I'd trust this girl. First up, you know she's not reliable in taking it. That's an instant "condom or nothing" for me. But on top of this, she's on anti-depressants - not sure how this affects the reliability of it (you better look it up). Also she's anti-abortion, so in the worst case there's no way out. But finally, and probably most importantly, she's not stable. That much is obvious from what you said (and the fact she's on anti-depressants). Dude you don't have to be afraid of no condom, as long as you really trust the girl and she's reliable and solid, and checked out. But too many of these boxes are unchecked in this girl for me. I wouldn't do it. She has to agree to be reliable with taking it, but I just don't count on that. You don't want babies - she's anti abortion. This means condom. She has to be right in the head before this, or any other part of your relationship will work, and it's probably not going to happen in the duration of your time together. She's right, there ISN'T any point her being on it, is there!! She's got issues, she wants to be loved and trusted, but she's not actually trustworthy. It's going to be a real balancing act trying to convince her you love and care for her, but cannot do the no condom thing with her. List the reasons I listed above. But still, if you refuse to remove the condom, this will upset her. But you can't do it - you don't want babies. This relationship will not work, she's too messed up. But I guarentee - if you even suggest this relationship will not work, she will be wracked with guilt, and beg you to stay, but there wil be a lot of back and forth as she tries to do what she can to stay with you but still does these crazy things. I've been with a few messed up girls on anti-depressants. You're in for a rough ride. But yeah, stick with a condom for her.