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Am I making to big of a deal about this?
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=69203		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Floods7 [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:24 am ]
Post subject:  Am I making to big of a deal about this?
Me and my gf have been dating for two months now and have been bf/gf for a little more than 1 month. Its been very serious. Slept together alot, talk everyday and txt a lot. Last week was her 22nd bday, I sent her flowers at work and gave her a teddy bear later that day. She nearly cried and loved both of them.

Then this weekend she went downtown to bars with her friends. I wasn't able to go so she just went with all of her friends and her friends friends. During the time she was out that night we txt'ed and she kept asking me to come and see her and how much she wanted me there. I said the same but I told her I couldn't, but I wanted to. Then the next day I saw pics on facebook of her night out and I saw a few pics of her sitting on one of her friend friends lap in the taxi and giving him a kiss on the cheek! Then another of her dancing with him and another of her dancing with some random guy.

When I saw these I was pretty pissed. I really like her but this kind of behavior is not acceptable for my "girlfriend". I would not think of doing this with other girls so I dont understand how she could do this with other guys. Am I making to big of a deal about this?? I dont want to break up with her and loose her but at the same time this really bothers me.
Author:  WitandFun [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:55 am ]
Post subject: 
I feel you bro!

BUT you cant let stuff like this get to you, its a inner game thing, try n get over it without mentioning it to her! as its only been a month!!! if you say one word about it you come off as crazy and insecure so i wouldnt say anything. Are you sure it was a friends friend ? how do you know she hasnt known this guy before ? some girls have guys they have known all through growing up so a kiss on the cheek is no biggy!!

Trust! I have been where you are and yeah it can get to you but why spoil this over this lil thing! its only a big deal if you make it one.

You seem to be falling hard n fast for this girl though from what uve said! Chill out abit its been just over a month! dont let urself get sucked in too fast because look whats happening! "already on fb getting crazy over pics on a night out" calm calm calm you are the man your the one she wants just be cool n let her come to you.

The road your on at the mo will lead to disaster if you let it so quit quit quit these thoughts!
Author:  Floods7 [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 10:26 am ]
Post subject: 
I definitely see what you are saying.

Yes, its a friends friend who she just met last week. Last we we were all out and me and her met him for the first time.

It also bothers me that she is dancing with him, hes got his arm around her and shit like that. I just feel like its a respect thing, when I am out without her I would not even think of dancing with another chick.
Author:  dark one [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 4:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Alright here is the deal. You need to set boundaries early on in a relationship and allowing this behaviour is not acceptable. You need to make it clear to her that this sort of thing is not ok and ask her how she would react if she was to see pictues of you with women on your lap, kissing you, dancing with you ect ect....

Stay calm the whole time and dont get angree! be mature and not be a baby about it! if she get mad and does not agree then still stay calm and say somthing like "I see. Ok well it looks like you and I have very diffrent views about what a relationship is and how it works...so I guess I have some thinking to do." and then leave. dont keep talking to her just strait up leave. If she still doesnt agree with you after a day then ditch her and find another women.

You always have to be willing to walk and she needs to know it! I love my gf to death! and I plan on some day being married to her but she also knows that I will walk in the blink of an eye if she fucks up...I have told her "You have all my trust! I trust you 100% and have no reason not to until you mess it up and once you do you have no more trust left...Its over". My guide lines are very simple and plain I have told her "If you wouldnt do it in front of me then its not ok".
Author:  Koffertgutten [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 12:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm sorry mate, that sucks!
But i gotta say i have to agree with darkone.. I remember my girl once did the same, - I told her calmly that i got really disapointed, and told her what i did accept and did not accept, and she's respecting that.
As previously said; you need to have a chat with her, tell her what you accept, and what you do not accept. If you just act like nothing's wrong she'll think it's okay, and that'll only backfire on you..

Hope everything works out!! I'm currently in a ltr too.. And damn! It's hardwork! best of luck!
Author:  Snake Doctor [ Mon Aug 30, 2010 5:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well you need to put boundaries says that type of behaviour is not accpetable, I talk to my girlfriend once and she knew she was wrong because she didnt want me to have that same behaviour so talk to her.
Author:  Alpha_Man [ Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
But how would you feel if you were with your gf and 2 friends of her a boy, and a girl.
And you have to leave and your gf wants to stay with them.
It's much more simple then your situation, but this is what happened to me.
If I take my gf with me her female friend said that I am "selfish" and "possesive", If I let her stay with her friends I feel really bad. So I told her female friend that she is right and I left. But I feel really bad, and it's today happened. When I arrived home I called my gf just to say "good night" and she mentioned "that boy left too, I am only with my female friend". Why would she mention this? Is she feeling guilty(?!?)
I am her bf she should be leaving with me, not me going alone home. So am I making a big deal?
Author:  Jobert [ Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:07 am ]
Post subject: 
sitting on other guy's laps and kissing them on the cheek seems pretty inappropriate to me. I guess it depends on the couple. Since you've only been bf/gf for a month, she might not understand that her behavior makes you uncomfortable. Simply talking to her about it may resolve the issue. However, it could also make her feel like you are controlling. Depends on the girl.
Author:  Alpha_Man [ Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:38 am ]
Post subject: 
The difference between what happened to you and what happened to me is that it sucks much more for you.

But there is no problem in your situation because she wasn't cheating you, and if she does that to you means that you can do it to her to, but of course I wouldn't agree with such behaviour.

In my situation what makes me feel bad is NOT that she isn't allowed to stay with her friends is THAT I felt usless and unappreciated because she didn't came home with me.
Author:  GFofAlpha_Man [ Thu Sep 02, 2010 11:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
And when your bf is not agree with the idea that you have friends,
after you stay with your bf 8 hours on day and 4 hours with your friends,
then your bf tells you that you don't stay enough time with him because he is the snack and your friends are dessert.
Author:  Alpha_Man [ Fri Sep 03, 2010 7:41 am ]
Post subject: 
My gf posted here. Oh man I am fucked up!
Need help!
Author:  poet1234 [ Fri Sep 03, 2010 2:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh man i would love to have a gf who reads this forum,works on inner game,etc
Your situation is not anywhere near Floods,so be cool about it.
Author:  Junglepimp [ Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Happens.. my friend. it burns you up on the inside, the first time. May be she knows this and expects some kind of a reaction to this, from you. A DHV move here would be to take almost no notice and act confident instead of insecure. My girlfriend tried to do this, trying to make me jealous (playfully), I gave the situation a humorous turn. Every time hence she did it, I was unaffected as a rock. Finally came a "Oh god. You don't even react! :P ". I told her this is so because trust her completely and I happen to be protective and not possessive. This is DHV. Since then she hasn't done it once. Instead she gets burnt up when there is any kind of a link of any other woman to me!

But, since this is also an LTR and you would want to remain genuine to her as far as your feelings go, a little nudge saying you didn't really like that one picture as much as the others should do the job.
Author:  Junglepimp [ Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Oh man i would love to have a gf who reads this forum,works on inner game,etc
Your situation is not anywhere near Floods,so be cool about it.
No dude! That'd be a major loss to us.. Our stuff would be revealed and it would kill the fun and the mystery to quite an extent, lol. And also the genuineness factor.
Author:  Alpha_Man [ Sun Sep 05, 2010 12:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
I totally agree with you poet1234!
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