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When freezing out is probably not a good idea...(pic)
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Author:  burner [ Fri May 28, 2010 10:29 am ]
Post subject:  When freezing out is probably not a good idea...(pic)
Liked a girl from class, texted her for a few weeks. Got her to come over and F closed.

Going on 3 months now...pretty much like dating just no titles.

I want the title.

We discussed this quite a bit, and she always talks long term like we're going to keep doing this for a while. Says she doesn't know what she wants "yet".

I can't freeze her out, we're too close and she's sensitive, I'd lose her.

Chemistry is good, sex is amazing, everything is just dandy.

Why do I feel like I need the title to keep happy?

http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m45/ ... amed-1.jpg
Author:  dark one [ Fri May 28, 2010 2:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Because you want her to be yours...with out a "title" there is to much gray area were cheating can happen and a title is kinda like signing a contract saying that you are each 100% exclusive.

My question is why wouldnt she want a title after this long? there is a reason behind this and if you are truly high value in her eyes than she would want a full out relationship. If it is that big of a deal to you then let her know...whats the point in staying basically fuck budies if she has no intention of taking it further? the longer you stick with her the harder you will fall in the end...you will get hurt sooner or later.

I would freez out and tell her you can no longer have this kind of relationship because it is not what you want...you want to be her bf and if its not going to go any further than what it is your will find somone eles who wants to have a meaningful relationship.

Let me ask you somthing? why do you protect her and her feelings yet you dont look after your own? she clearly doesnt care about your needs so why should you give a shit? If she really likes you let her go and she will come back to you.
Author:  dark one [ Fri May 28, 2010 2:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
p.s how old are you? this is a big factor!
Author:  burner [ Fri May 28, 2010 6:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm 21, senior in college. She's 21, junior in college.

You're right, It's nice to hear that from somebody. This is what I get for dating my own age. Last woman was 25, and the one before her was 33. While the older ones have their own set of issues, they valued me more. This one just wants the good sex, and that's probably not enough for her to dive into a relationship over.

I also find this relevant...she doesn't want to sleep with other people, makes it a point of telling me that and telling me that she will leave me if i sleep with other women. She introduced me to her mother, and told me she wants me to meet the rest of her family.
Author:  Chris Hart [ Sun May 30, 2010 1:08 am ]
Post subject: 
I know this doesn't help your problem at all but I've never really been big with relationships.. just figured I might comment..

Damn.

lol props on that one. Good job.
Author:  dark one [ Sun May 30, 2010 4:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Iduno home boy...remeber just because somone says "I wouldnt sleep with anyone eles" doesnt mean its true...You give women to much credit! I tell this to almost every guy who tries to make logic out of a situation...WOMEN DONT THINK LIKE US! They think with emotions, act with emotions, and she will cheat with emotions if the situation is right.

Do you know how many women I have heard say "I would never cheat on my bf" and then 2 weeks later they want to sleep with me???? lol it happens all the time!

This girl doesnt want to be exclusive for a reason and you need to either figure it out or give her an ultimatum...If you show her you have the balls to walk and not look back chances are she will chase you and tell you she wants to be your gf.
Author:  Defiance [ Sun May 30, 2010 5:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Iduno home boy...remeber just because somone says "I wouldnt sleep with anyone eles" doesnt mean its true...You give women to much credit! I tell this to almost every guy who tries to make logic out of a situation...WOMEN DONT THINK LIKE US! They think with emotions, act with emotions, and she will cheat with emotions if the situation is right.

Do you know how many women I have heard say "I would never cheat on my bf" and then 2 weeks later they want to sleep with me???? lol it happens all the time!

This girl doesnt want to be exclusive for a reason and you need to either figure it out or give her an ultimatum...If you show her you have the balls to walk and not look back chances are she will chase you and tell you she wants to be your gf.
You have the same mentality about women that that my friends in the Marines have. GIVE girls some credit and don't associate yourself with trash.

There could be several reasons why she doesn't want to be exclusive, not just because she wants to sleep around.

And NEVER give ultimatums. Such a sign of weakness. What will probably happen is she probably ditch him and lead him on with occasional sex. That's just not how it works.

Enjoy your freedom in an "open" or exclusive relationship or whatever, and if things are right, everything will fall into place. If not, then good. You wouldn't have to waste your time fixing a house that should be demo'd.
Author:  thelenzel [ Mon May 31, 2010 6:58 am ]
Post subject: 
The way I see things, if a girl doesn't want to be exclusive or comes up with the "I don't know what I want" its (In my experience) for a few things...
She doesn't see you as a relationship guy. Why? You may not meet her "standards" for relationship, keep in mind, girls will fuck a bad boy, but they will not keep him. She may not see you as a sure couple, all the chasing thing and "playing hard", being a challenge is good if you want to keep it casual, but if you want the title of being boyfriend and girlfriend, she needs to have the security that you will remain with her. When a girl goes into a relationship, she wants a stable guy, a sure guy, this doesn't mean you have to be 100% there for her.
I don't know how your relationship is with this girl, but that could be a point, you probably haven't shown her that you're something else than a fuck buddy. This has happened to me in the past, this girl was totally infatuated with me, and when I told her to be my girlfriend, she said she wanted to be sure of me, I was playing the whole being a challenge thing. She said that I wouldn't call her for days, and she would wonder if I was still interested. This of course makes her want you more, but to be honest, who wants a boyfriend that won't call? Or someone who won't even drop a text to say hello? ... No girl wants that, for a relationship. A girl wants a boyfriend who will actually care about her, without being a wuss, which is what PUA should help you with. Not being a needy wuss, which is what 90% of guys out there are. Ghandi once said that cowards are unable to express love, love is the prerogative of the strong.
Relationship and gaming are two different things in my opinion. Its ok to play a challenge at the beginning, but if you want something serious, you need to start showing those small details that separate the fuck buddy from the boyfriend. Be a gentleman, show her that you care for her, that you will stay, be the best you can be, so she WANTS you to be only hers. But don't become a needy wuss!!!
Now... there's always the chance that she doesn't want a boyfriend because she wants to sleep around with many guys, she's young and in college, she has the right to experiment.
Ask her :)
Author:  dark one [ Mon May 31, 2010 11:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Iduno home boy...remeber just because somone says "I wouldnt sleep with anyone eles" doesnt mean its true...You give women to much credit! I tell this to almost every guy who tries to make logic out of a situation...WOMEN DONT THINK LIKE US! They think with emotions, act with emotions, and she will cheat with emotions if the situation is right.

Do you know how many women I have heard say "I would never cheat on my bf" and then 2 weeks later they want to sleep with me???? lol it happens all the time!

This girl doesnt want to be exclusive for a reason and you need to either figure it out or give her an ultimatum...If you show her you have the balls to walk and not look back chances are she will chase you and tell you she wants to be your gf.
You have the same mentality about women that that my friends in the Marines have. GIVE girls some credit and don't associate yourself with trash.

There could be several reasons why she doesn't want to be exclusive, not just because she wants to sleep around.

And NEVER give ultimatums. Such a sign of weakness. What will probably happen is she probably ditch him and lead him on with occasional sex. That's just not how it works.

Enjoy your freedom in an "open" or exclusive relationship or whatever, and if things are right, everything will fall into place. If not, then good. You wouldn't have to waste your time fixing a house that should be demo'd.
Ultimatums do work If you back them up and they are not all talk...Im not saying throw out ultimatums like crazy but they are necessary in some situations.

Why should he settle for what she wants? he has his own set of, principle, value, and things that he feels are important...One of the things that he clearly values is a traditional relationship and if she does not share the same values then perhaps the two of them are not meant to be togeather.

Relationships of any kind are all about compromise...If she truly wants to be with him and only him and she realizes that having a title will make him happy then she will be willing to do it just as Im sure he would do for her. Now if she doesnt value the relationship and for what ever reason does not agree than he can go find some one eles who does...there are over 3 billion women in the world im sure he can find another women who shares the same value who he likes just as much if not more.

In my experience these kinds of "exclusive fuck budy" relationships dont work out. If she knows you are going to stick around no matter what and she is geting what she wants then why would she change things? the thing is you arnt geting what you want do its not 50/50...there is no compromise on her part and lots on yours.
Author:  Qlass [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 12:21 am ]
Post subject: 
I tend to agree with dark one (to a point) and with Defiance - simply put, don't try and fix something that isn't broken.

She's already introducing you to her parents and family etc. She has pretty much made a statement of exclusivity. And you guys have already let each other know that you really care for each other - don't try and force it by placing a label on it. The label means nothing. If you want to mention her in conversation with others you don't need to say "My Girlfriend" you can just say "this girl I've been seeing." Same idea, but less huge.

That being said, though I agree that women think and act with emotion, I have a very hard time believing that just any random girl will sleep with you if you run enough game on them. Girls cannot afford to have the stigma of cheating blemish their social reputation, and so will insist that they would never cheat on their boyfriends. But if they've been having PROBLEMS in their relationship and you manage to find and exploit those problems, you'll probably get her into bed. That being said, I don't think if you're in a loving and committed relationship that you'd be so ready to cheat. Why would you if you were getting everything you wanted?

My $0.02: Play it cool. Don't push for something. And to be honest man, she's 21. I've known a ton of 21 year-olds. They are FUCKED six ways from Sunday. When she says she doesn't know what she wants - BELIEVE her. She doesn't. Some of them are terrified of labeling anything or having anything written in stone.

The ONLY time I think you should be upset about it is if she introduces you to people as "My friend". If she simply says "This is Joe" and nothing more, then others will pick up on the implication. But if she goes out of her way to define you as her friend - then you've got a serious issue.

Q.
Author:  Defiance [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 12:32 am ]
Post subject: 
To elaborate on what Q said, keep doing what you are doing and don't push for anything. Make HER ask YOU "hey, I don't know what to tell my friends when they ask who we are. Help?".

Also on the whole ultimatum thing.. what benefit will he get out of forcing her into a title (Which won't happen. If she doesn't want it now, and even if she agrees, it won't last long). This isn't India.

No need to rush into stuff, burner. Are you on a time constraint? Do you have to be somewhere and say "this girl is my girlfriend" or your family dies? Take your time and enjoy the game.

Guys always have this tendency to rush. They want that girl and they want her NOW. But that simply not the way it works. Have a sense of adventure and experiment with life.
Author:  dark one [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Why dont you ask her were she see's the relationship going? do it in a non threatening way when you are both alone and in good moods...this could give you a better idea of what is on her mind.
Author:  Hakuna [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dump her, you'll find a hotter girl. If you compromise what you want / need because your afraid to lose her, your heading for a disaster
Author:  burner [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 9:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
lots of very different points made here. I haven't been pushing anything really. She often says stuff like, " I like what we have." and "we have good chemistry".

I was just feeling uncomfortable doing things like meeting her family, and in a few weeks probably introducing her to my family when they come visit, without being "titled" official.

I guess I have my own trust issues, and usually I wouldn't care because I try not to let me feelings get in the way of good sex. I like this girl though, and that's quite rare for me so I feel like i want to lock that in.

Just cruising along at this point I guess.
Author:  thelenzel [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 10:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just keep fucking her, she's hot!
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