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| Moving in together w/gf of 7 months? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=67755 |
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| Author: | Chillburg [ Thu May 20, 2010 10:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Moving in together w/gf of 7 months? |
Hey guys, I've been with my girlfriend for 7 months now, and everything is amazing, both physically and mentally she completes me (damn that sounds bad, but fuck it its true). We haven't had a single fight yet and we're both really laid-back people. I'm turning 23 in a few weeks and she's 18 years old (not your average 18 year old by the way, I wouldn't even date her if she would her age, she's the smartest and most mature girl I've ever met). There's nothing about her that annoys me and she feels the same way, I say that because small things could get blown up when you move in together (we're always real honest). I've never loved anyone like her. She still lives with her parents but she's at my place about 5 days a week and she spends most of the nights with me. About a month ago she said she wished she didn't have to go home and that she could just stay with me every night and come home to me every day. I don't really remember how it came up after that but I need to look for a new place and she asked if we could look for something together. I thought at first "well i'll just say "sure" and then we'll see in a few months", but she found a place for us that is actually really great and affordable. If I think about it, the only reason why I shouldn't do it is: it could go wrong. BUT, I can't find any reasons in my mind why it would go wrong. Yet, most of my friends tell me I shouldnt do it and that I will kill the relationship with it, and they could be right...I just dont see any of it actually happening you know? I feel like they dont understand what we have, same as they dont understand that we can spend 5 nights and days a week together and still not grow tired of eachother...(and yes, I realise that they probably HAVE experienced something like this.) I really want to move in with this girl, and I've been thinking about it a lot, but I would like some thoughts from you guys, or stories that you can share about your experiences with moving in with girlfriends. thanks, Chillburg. |
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| Author: | Chelios [ Thu May 20, 2010 10:41 pm ] |
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Look man, your happy, she's happy, that's the basis of a relationship, just if you do move in together, tread softly at first. Life's about risks. |
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| Author: | bdub [ Sat May 22, 2010 2:58 am ] |
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Hey man I am in the same situation. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and are thinking about leaving the state together. It seems like it's the right time in my life and her life where we can do this. But mostly it comes down to I want to take our relationship to the next level and I do consistently enjoy our time together. Best of luck bro! |
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| Author: | Reo [ Sat May 22, 2010 8:42 pm ] |
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If you won't listen to your friends what good can some ppl you don't know on a forum do you?! You'll regret it I had a friend who moved in with his girlfriend of 2yrs. Biggest mistake of his life. His freedom was gone. And they're not together anymore. I had warned him not to do it they lived together about 9 months. She got to see how lame he really was she never had the chance to miss him because they're lives evolved around eachother. He wouldn't come hang out with the fellas anymore. Didn't have any female friends. And she was way more outgoing that him. Unless your getting married to this girl don't do it. But you said yourself you've already talked to her about so your whipped..... |
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| Author: | Hakuna [ Sat May 22, 2010 8:58 pm ] |
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7 months is too early. Wait till your married. Your lives will revolve around each other, you will start getting irritated easily, she'll never miss you, you'll never get a chance to back off to build up falling interest level, and you'll have a harder time maintaining your own individuality. This is rarely a good idea. |
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| Author: | WitandFun [ Mon May 24, 2010 1:32 pm ] |
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These topics scare me so much as i too am considering the moving in thing, been together a yr n blah blah blah. But yeah i freak out about the whole getting tired/bored and not missing eachother!!! everythings going really well and i also cant see it going wrong but still! scary stuff. Maybe making some rules like "one night per week with our mates" stuff like this to stay away from revolving around eachother. Working 9-5 i wouldnt see her all the time anyway but ye it might take away the sparks when i dont have to wait to see her i just see her all the time! |
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| Author: | TheJ [ Tue May 25, 2010 11:49 am ] |
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Chill, I see a lot of advices one way or another and honestly nobody can understand fully where you and this girl are. Any time frame based advice (ie. 2 years is to early, 7 months is too much, 4 year is to little...bla bla bla) is bullshit. Each relationship has it's own dynamics and you will feel it when it is time. If it feels right for you then go ahead regardless if it's 2 months or 20 years. Just a small piece of advice though, make sure you two keep some 'me' time that doesn't include your significant other. Cheers! |
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| Author: | Dmader [ Thu Jul 08, 2010 6:37 pm ] |
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Biggest thing I can offer on this as I just moved in with my girl of 3 months. (i got my own place and she moved in with me) I lost myself alil and let her consume my time, I found myself angery alot and frustrated and couldnt figure out why then it all hit me in a confersation with my brother one day. we were bantering about girls and his wife ect... he went on to tell me he could give two shits if his wife walked out the door, that he knows he'd be a lil hurt at first but life would go on and he could find someone better if he chose. He told me to not let her consume me when living together from experiencing just such with his wife. Since then I stopped being the puppy dog, now I did not stop being the hopless romantic and doing all the lil corcky fun tid bits i always have for my girl I just started doingsome of the things I gave up to spend more time with her initionally. The realtionship dynamics have changed grately since then, I stopped worrying about lil things that i would let get to me and just started to live my life and included her in it rather than try to be her life, if that makes sense. In Short do not lose yourself, do the things you want, make decisons for both of you, BE a leader, a man yet be a loving partner in the realtionship. |
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| Author: | Bimm3r [ Thu Jul 08, 2010 7:20 pm ] |
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Quote: 7 months is too early. Wait till your married. Your lives will revolve around each other, you will start getting irritated easily, she'll never miss you, you'll never get a chance to back off to build up falling interest level, and you'll have a harder time maintaining your own individuality. This is rarely a good idea.
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| Author: | confusedcalifornian [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 10:48 pm ] |
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If you love this girl and plan to marry her DON'T DO IT. It is proven that pre-marital co-habitation PROFOUNDLY increases your chance of break-up or divorce in the future (as does pre-marital sex, but we can't be perfect right?) The problem is that you are (presumably) already having sex. Once you move in together, there a NO MORE significant life changes that will occur once you are married. There will be all this build up to your wedding day, then the wedding, the BOOM...zzzz "Oh, it's just this again?" The psychological connection of your marriage is significantly weakened because of this. It is a fact that the most profound memories that are created occur when coupled with intense emotions. Intense emotions are created by experience life changing (or threatening) events. The more things that change (positively) as a result of your marriage, the more chance of success your relationship will have. Call me pussy, but I've actually considered stopping sex with my loved one once she has a ring on her finger, just for this reason. At least the build up of sexual tension between engagement and marriage will have SOME positive effect on Honeymoon night....cause we all know abstinence is impossible. haha. |
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| Author: | returner217 [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 6:39 pm ] |
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"7 months is too early. Wait till your married" Hmm. if you move in now and come to conclusion we are not for each other - you may split just like that. If you marry her and want split - you will pay her's expenses life long. You guys really should read: the_manipulated_man.pdf The_Polygamous_Sex_by_Esther_Vilar.pdf Sex-Ploytation - How Women Abuse Men Using Their Sexuality (A Must Read)_afterdeath1009_projectw..pdf Some books are written by woman !!! Woman which gives justice to reality, In general - if you look soberly on reality - a man is not a man anymore. It is specie which is obliged to fulfill all women's requests, wishes, dreams, even those which she herself is not aware of (= you need read her mind) WITHOUT any request in reverse direction. You even WONT have warranty that you will get sex as reward. In fact why should you ? If you get it - you won't try anymore. Men are SLAVES of women nowadays. PERIOD. Comment 1: It took me several years to be free and I paid my price. Comment 2: Why hookers/whores are hated that much by women ? Because they destroy market. A man can get pussy for 100-200 bucks from them while with "normal" woman he has to give her car, house and life long livelihood for her and her childrens. PLUS inheritance yet. Fair enough, right ? |
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| Author: | Bimm3r [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 8:16 pm ] |
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Quote: "7 months is too early. Wait till your married"
Not true.. Wait till you are married. I'm a strong believer, that if you move in with someone.. You might break up. But if you waited another year or two, and then decide to get married. You would live a happy marriage..Hmm. if you move in now and come to conclusion we are not for each other - you may split just like that. If you marry her and want split - you will pay her's expenses life long. Because the relationship is not prepared to be living together, and it is so easy to just pack your things and leave the house. You no longer miss the other person, you are always together. You fight over money (because you still have to split everything, which you dont do in a marriage). You fight over the cat. you fight over everything. -- A marathon runner, never runs a marathon, before a marathon. He runs some km before the race, but never a whole marathon. -- Enjoy your relationship with her.. No need to rush things. Rushing might only make things break. Yet dont idle through the whole relationship. Growing up is fine.. But sometime we try to grow up too fast, and forget that some things needs time to develop. Wait some years. Do you love her with all your life? Do you see her as the perfect mother for your kids? Do you love her, even when you have a fight? Do you hate and do you love her? Do you love her unconditionally? If you dont answer yes to all question. You soon will in some years, and then you'll be ready |
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| Author: | returner217 [ Mon Jul 12, 2010 6:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
"... and it is so easy to just pack your things and leave the house." EXACTLY, but this leads me to completely diferent conclusions. Easy to leave, yes. For her too. Then if she stays with you and you stay with her - you may be SURE she is with you from her own WILL, not because you two are bound by oath, paper one but nonetheless strong like steel cuffs. --- |
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| Author: | confusedcalifornian [ Mon Jul 12, 2010 8:37 am ] |
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Quote: "... and it is so easy to just pack your things and leave the house."
EXACTLY, but this leads me to completely diferent conclusions. Easy to leave, yes. For her too. Then if she stays with you and you stay with her - you may be SURE she is with you from her own WILL, not because you two are bound by oath, paper one but nonetheless strong like steel cuffs. --- But I think everyone knows a couple, that had there been an easy out (no wedding ring), one of them would have left at one point already. The oath of the wedding along with the hassle of divorce is the very reason one one of my friends stuck it through a very rough time in his/his wife's relationship. They have since grown as a couple, had 2 kids, and they have never been happier. If they would have just been girlfriend/boyfriend, things may have turned out much different. |
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| Author: | vizzy [ Mon Jul 12, 2010 9:50 am ] |
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A friend of mine went through the same thing. He too only knew his girlfriend for a while. He said he lived with her for nearly 2 years. And considering he only knew her for a few months before moving in, it lasted longer than I would've predicted. But here is how it went down between them: He never really went out with the guys. If he did go out rarely, it would be with his girlfriend there with him. He said their relationship became boring and mundane. Not much I can tell you on whether to do it or not. I've never been in a situation to connect on that level with a girl so I wouldn't understand it. |
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