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| Help me salvage my relationship https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=65078 |
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| Author: | gotham [ Fri Apr 02, 2010 5:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Help me salvage my relationship |
I moved in with my gf of 10 months last month and it feels as if the second I moved in things went sour. It seemed like she has become a totally different person over night. She is easily agitated at little things, suddenly is really cold, isn't too happy to see me and all of the attraction and sex seemed to have disappeared. I confronted her after 1.5-2 weeks of living together and she said she feels extra pressure and needs her space and is trying to adjust. I especially asked her if it was the living situation or the relationship and she said no its the living stuff. I know she is having a rough time at school so that's another item. So, I suggest that I stay at a friends for almost a week, which I did, to give her some space and I've been back for 2 weeks but the attraction is still missing and I'm trying to get it back. I'm afraid I'm turning into an AFC Try Hard trying to salvage this thing and am considering a freeze out stage. How should I go about this? Any suggestions? The relationship was great and the attraction stellar before so I am debating whether I should hold on and let her get through her adjustment phase or accept that she is trying to end this. She's really hard to read. I can provide more details if needed. |
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| Author: | Freemind [ Fri Apr 02, 2010 7:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hey Gotham. I recognize what you're writing as something that happened to me. Me and my girlfriend had been together for over a year. Then we started an activity together, and she was more or less consumed by it. We only met the days we trained, and the spark dissappeared as if dipped in water. I don't want it to end the same way for you as for me. It is always a stressfull situation when someone moves over. I think your step of moving out for a week can be considered both good and bad. Has she been more agitated since you came back from your friends than before? What you've most probably slipped in is a phase of things being too monotonous. You need to make sure that the fire remains, and to do this, you need to spark up the relationship a bit. You said she is stressed with studies, ask her to take a break over a weekend. Now, I don't know what your internal things are, so I will not say something you shall do. I will instead give a few advices. 1. Go camping over a weekend. Make sure that you two spend time together, without the stress of your lives. This should very likely remind her of her feelings towards you, and likely that she's been treating you beneath your worth. 2. Do something fun! Go mountain-climbing, or to a tivoli, or something similar. She will have fun, and more important, she will be having fun with you. Try to do something you don't do ever so often. The point of the examples above is to remove the focus from school and everything else in yours and her life, and just for a while focus on eachother. This SHOULD make her remember why you're together, and that she actually likes you. If she says she doesn't have time this weekend, make sure that she writes in her calendar to do it the first weekend possible. If this doesn't help, and if it keeps being a bad mood in the apartment, move out. It's not very exclusive to see eachother everyday, and moving out and still spending time together will mean that she MUST put time away to be with you. After this, start attracting her again. Be fun, don't be oversocial, and don't give yourself away TOO EASILY! Let her be with herself when she wants to, and don't hang over her like an old pullover. You should also start negging a bit. Start gaming her again. Make sure that the spark that you've recreated becomes a fire. I really hope this helps. Cheerios Freemind |
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| Author: | gotham [ Sat Apr 03, 2010 2:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help me salvage my relationship |
UPDATE: She officially asked me to move out of the apartment by the end of the month. She said she feels overwhelmed and likes things her way in her small 1 bedroom apartment. She says the relationship is still important and that she needs her own space and then we can work on building the relationship back up. I'm debating whether I should keep trying or leave her because all of this bs. Any suggestions? |
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| Author: | casthenova [ Sat Apr 03, 2010 5:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Leave her. Here is my major problem with all of this. It's all a crock of shit. Find a new girl. Like you said, you are "Salvaging". Salvaging is NEVER worth it with women. All that effort can go out meet tons of girls that are different and better than her. There is a better girl for you out there that won't freak out and will be STOKED that you live with her. She will appreciate you fully. This girl may be cool, hot, whatever its irrelevant. She is hurting you, I'd walk. What about this is on YOUR terms. I want you to move out, fend for yourself because I want things my way. Sounds immature and selfish to me. Give her space, unlimited space. The kind of space that she will never see you again. |
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| Author: | funkster [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 10:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
fukin good advice... needing this right now ^^^^ |
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