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God I need help..
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Author:  Belenos [ Wed Feb 03, 2010 1:07 am ]
Post subject:  God I need help..
I apologize in advance for the long post. I dont even know where to begin.

Iv been dating this girl for a couple months now. We started off just seeing each other, then went official, then broke up, then became friends, then started seeing each other again. All this over a span of 5 months. Now in all these different titles... NOTHING HAS CHANGED! She still calls and txts and talks on msn, shes still really cute and we spend every weekend together.

Now heres the deal, Im a very needy person. I got into the game to get rid of that and for a period of 8 months I was doing amazing. picking up different girls, not caring. i was happy. Then i met her. I gamed her really well and for the first couple of months you can see the sparkle in her eyes everytime shed look at me!

This girl has mood swings tho! Well every girl does but I over analyze and end up f*ing everything up! Il give you the most recent example: Shes been a cutie all of last week. She was txting me and calling me and we were flirting, the sparks wer there, it was great. Now last night wen she called, we didnt have much to say. She was just being dry and uncooperative. We always have days like that. At one point she snapped at me tho so I said "K just txt me wen u miss me" and hung up on her. She hasnt called back, or txted. Today I got no sign of life from her and I feel like shit. I miss her and its only been ONE DAY!

We never fight, I dont let it get to that because Im more mature, but wen we have these dumb dry moments I get needy and sad and it just ruins it. it takes SO much effort not to show it to her! How do I get rid of this?

Also, She doesnt want to get back together :S I dont understand it. nothing has changed, shes not seeing anyone else so wth?

My point is: I want to A) Stop being needy in order to regain control of the situation, B) she sees my insecurities now, how do I get back to that guy she LOVES and WANTS TO BE WITH. I want her to be after me all the time, i want to get her whipped (not in a bad way) But I really want her to be head over heels again! How do I bring this back? I have certain moments when I remember that I seduced her in the first place, and so we have amazing conversations (like all of last week) and you can tell shes feeling those butterflies. I want her to have them constantly! Shes very independant!

In any case, I really need some help and I suck at relationship so... :(

Legacy
Author:  sharpeye3000 [ Wed Feb 03, 2010 2:00 am ]
Post subject: 
IMO start gaming other chicks. Ull feel so much better. I had/ still sorta have a case of oneitis with this girl i only hooked up with a few times. never even slept with her. i felt some sparks and we still talk im trying not to keep attached although the other night i hit up a party gamed a girl and we hooked up. i felt amazing afterwords and didnt feel the need to have to talk to my oneitis anymore. Freeze this girl out for a while and learn to live without her. just ignore her for a few days. shell either come back to u or she wont. if she doesnt then fuck it and game new girls. its no big deal. everyone goes through this. thats y were here. to learn how to get over it
Author:  footjob [ Wed Feb 03, 2010 2:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Why are you talking to your gf on msn?

From my experience, I had a gf for 2 years and 1 phone call or a few texts a day was more than enough conversation as you would see them a lot. With a gf you see them enough to not have to chat to them all the time.

No matter how much you enjoy chatting etc no-one can talk 24 hours a day and not get sick of each other.

My advice would be to cut down on the contact if you want it to work. Whilst the rules are a bit different in a LTR and you can get off with some afc behaviour you still need to act like the prize and be willing to walk at any time with the confidence you could get another girl the next day if you wished to do so.
Author:  Belenos [ Wed Feb 03, 2010 5:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeh I know. Shes really moody tho. I just got off the phone with her. I know i didnt do anything wrong, because she did call me. But when I picked up she sounded in a REALLY bad mood and u can tell I was just annoying her and wasnt helping. I then found out she got into a big fight with her best friend, but she wouldnt tell me what about. But I think its her mood that caused the fight, not the fight that caused the mood, because last night on the phone wasnt great either.

Do you guys have any non-boring cocky funny openers I can use to get her responses out of her when shes unresponsive? Shes the kind of girl that really needs to be stimulated to get into it. I used my own Paris Hilton opener once and we got into a huge discussion and it was amazing, but sometimes I just dont know how to start and maintain a conversation when shes being this unresponsive!

Also, as i said, Im too needy. if she doesnt call one night or not txt during the day Im gna freak out. Obviously I wont show it to her, but its gna ruin my whole day and Im sick of that! Im sick of having mood swings depending on her own mood and actions!

One last point that I want to develop is her own feelings towards me. How can I make myself irresistible to her again? I want those damned eyes to shine again when they see me!

PS: needless to say she is my one-itis...
Thanks for the help


Legacy
Author:  General Lamb [ Wed Feb 03, 2010 8:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Why would you want to be with someone moody? :P

At the moment everything's on her terms, she gets to have you acting like a bf with no real commitment from her at all, that's the problem when you say that "nothing has changed".
If you want things to change then you're going to have to change the way you treat her, honestly I suggest dating others for a few reasons:

#1 you'll have fun and feel better, thus increasing your confidence

#2 you'll increase your value in both your and her eyes

#3 things have changed, suddenly you're not the friend who fulfils the job of a bf and requires no commitment back, there's now a real chance of losing you! this makes her far more likely to commit

#4 most importantly now... you'll met someone else while dating who is hotter, more interesting and not moody and rude. at this point you'll get with her, wonder what you ever saw in the pervious girl and live happily ever after ;)
Author:  Belenos [ Wed Feb 03, 2010 2:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Why would you want to be with someone moody? :P

At the moment everything's on her terms, she gets to have you acting like a bf with no real commitment from her at all, that's the problem when you say that "nothing has changed".
If you want things to change then you're going to have to change the way you treat her, honestly I suggest dating others for a few reasons:

#1 you'll have fun and feel better, thus increasing your confidence

#2 you'll increase your value in both your and her eyes

#3 things have changed, suddenly you're not the friend who fulfils the job of a bf and requires no commitment back, there's now a real chance of losing you! this makes her far more likely to commit

#4 most importantly now... you'll met someone else while dating who is hotter, more interesting and not moody and rude. at this point you'll get with her, wonder what you ever saw in the pervious girl and live happily ever after ;)
I see what you mean, and I do go out and still sarge and yes it does help but I dont want to lose her. Like I know I can get over this girl but I dont want to because why should i? Its hardly over. She just has her days and I overreact. Every girl is somewhat moody lol.

Plus I feel if I can handle this girl, Il never need relationship help again hahaha. This one is by far the toughest Iv ever seen. anyway just a though

Legacy
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Wed Feb 03, 2010 2:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
God I need help..
god is always with you
Author:  Belenos [ Wed Feb 03, 2010 2:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
God I need help..
god is always with you
I wear my cross around my neck mate ;)
Author:  footjob [ Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
This whole saga reeks of desperation.

If you had options you wouldn't be getting these feeling. You are clinging to this one like a leech. Remove yourself from her skin and go leech onto someone else.
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
now we have the battle : who is dominant ?
Who is the leech ?

well you can't be the leech dude ... this is your life MEANING she is the leech...
don't get into any negative thinking ok.
there is no room for desperation .... even if i walk in the valley of dead .. i know he's there and im there!
god is testing us and we are often testing ourtselfs.
you are needy.. ( you said this ), so you have some inner game problems which you reflect on your relationship.

god gave you life and this body , you don't need anyone to make you happy because you are the work of god yourself. If god allows this scenerio then accept it ! accept it and become a better person - becoming a better person also means seeing through others and their abusive behaviours.
Quote:
We never fight, I dont let it get to that because Im more mature
yes you are being mature at this point
Quote:
Stop being needy in order to regain control of the situation,
regain control of what ? of her mind ?
Quote:
but wen we have these dumb dry moments I get needy and sad and it just ruins it
the sadness comes from you... if my GF insults me i accept it.. not because im weak because i know insulting is weak behaviour. I accept her because she is acting weak out of her own ignorance, i even accept osama bin laden... he's just being ignorant and is misled by wrong beliefs ( maybe he's mentally sick as well ). im not saying he's a victim - im saying we are all victims just like nobody is victim , accept everythting around you because there is god in everything.

im not a muslim or catholic and to be honest i don't like those religious systems ( except budhism which is more a semi-religion of self-belief).... i got my own beliefs about what is out there - somehow we can connect on this fields even if we have conflicts.
having options is not a solution ... having 4 phone numbers of different girls won't make you happy- you will jsut leech other people to make you happy.

go read some replies ( i think they are at the bottom of the thread )
questions-about-relationships-shoot--vt ... highlight=

The happiness comes from ourself; from our inner being. Stop relying on external factors to make you happy. Yes this new TV will make you happy .. for 1 day/
experience god and all awesomeness in you, im you and you are me - if i can be happy without anything you can be to !

Amen
Shiva Devanagari
allah akbar
Theravada rigden

you don't need books written by man to experience, you already contain the answers if your confident enough to see it.
Author:  Jay-Dawg [ Mon Feb 08, 2010 2:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Don't call or talk to her for a week.

Play the game, as hard as it may be.

She should hopefully want you back, and if not, move on.

Sorry. :(
Author:  Belenos [ Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Don't call or talk to her for a week.

Play the game, as hard as it may be.

She should hopefully want you back, and if not, move on.

Sorry. :(
I know bro, but u dont get it. Wer still dating, wer just not official.

I need to get my confidance back, like not get needy. It depends, sometimes Im really independant and she chases me and times like today, I just got needy. I need to defeat that!

I dont understand why she doesnt wanna get back? Maybe its cuz she slightly lost attraction for me?

I need to tips to be irresistible again! Guys Im despairing! Sometimes i got it sometimes I dont :s I need to be sexually attractive. I can be ridiculously funny, cocky, and I can get a girl to laugh, but I can never inspire that insane arousal in a women. My girl used to never be able to take her hands off me, now we barely even kiss.

Any tips or advice anyone?

Mack
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