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| It's starting to buid up... https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=61140 |
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| Author: | Mortal [ Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | It's starting to buid up... |
I've been dating this girl for a couple months now and it's progressed relativly fast (she tells me she loves me and blah blah) Recenty she told me a friend who she's been hanging out with alot has admitted having feelings for her. He is always depressed so she is constantly talking to him on the phone usually text to calm him down. He said he wasn't good enough and wanted to kill himself when she said she was only into me. This made her really upset and she told me all about this. The next day she said he was doing better and aplogized for breaking down. I don't really have a problem with her hanging with this kid... but today (the following day) our communicatuin has been horrible and she seems distant. I come to find out she's hanging out with him along with another friend. I'm not sure it's good for this kid's mental health to be hanging with my girlfriend when he has suicidal thoughts. I find myself a bit annoyed that she is seemingly ignoring me when I usually would hear from her throughout the day. How would you react in this situation? |
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| Author: | TheLastWolf [ Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I would say something along the lines of "Hey, it's a nice thing your doing for this kid, but any contact with him is just going to make it worse. I'm glad you are trying to help him, but he needs professional help, and that's what you should do for him." I dunno if you're jealous or not, or worried because she isn't texting you, but she does have just cause. I'm not saying she's right, I'm saying that that kid said he might kill himself, and she's devoting her attention to that because well, would you want someone to commit suicide because of you? And on another note, even IF she did decide to pity date him, when she breaks up with him a couple months down the road it will only be worse than it was. |
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| Author: | Mortal [ Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Of course I don't want him killing himself, which is why I stated I dont mind her hanging out with him. I kind of feel like this just got unusual when her behavior changed.. and it's kind of feel like she's throwing it in my face. I wouldn't say im jealous, cause I'm certain she wouldn't leave me for this kid, but at the same time should I accept her devoting attention to him and pushing me on the side? That might be a bit of a stretch, but I am a big fan of communication which seems to be lacking on her part. On a side note he is seeking proffesional help and is on meds... |
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| Author: | TheLastWolf [ Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Of course I don't want him killing himself, which is why I stated I dont mind her hanging out with him. I kind of feel like this just got unusual when her behavior changed.. and it's kind of feel like she's throwing it in my face. I wouldn't say im jealous, cause I'm certain she wouldn't leave me for this kid, but at the same time should I accept her devoting attention to him and pushing me on the side? That might be a bit of a stretch, but I am a big fan of communication which seems to be lacking on her part.
In that case, tell her "I understand that you are helping this kid through this, but even in these types of situations I need to be able to communicate with you and you need to let me know what's going on".Basically, in this type of situations(friend going through a crisis), you shouldn't expect to have her constantly texting you, but you should hear from her and she should tell you whats going on. But really, she should be trying to get this kid professional help, it sounds like he needs it. |
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| Author: | Mortal [ Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
My major concern is that countinues to hang out with him often and constantly text him, and he's going to countinuly like her more and which will get more confusing for him and drive him to kill himself. I don't want to be wrapped up in some drama down the road with this guy all over my girlfriend and her not knowing what to do. I found out she was going out with him tonight when her other friend she is with posted it on facebook and it showed up in my live feed. Again, I'm not jealous but I would appreciate some communication. I don't know how I should react to her... as if I should be affirmative and let her know my concern showing her my slight aggervation? |
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| Author: | TheLastWolf [ Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:28 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: My major concern is that countinues to hang out with him often and constantly text him, and he's going to countinuly like her more and which will get more confusing for him and drive him to kill himself. I don't want to be wrapped up in some drama down the road with this guy all over my girlfriend and her not knowing what to do. I found out she was going out with him tonight when her other friend she is with posted it on facebook and it showed up in my live feed. Again, I'm not jealous but I would appreciate some communication. I don't know how I should react to her... as if I should be affirmative and let her know my concern showing her my slight aggervation?
You could do a freeze out by waiting to text her(a couple hours), keep them short, and when you hang out with her act cold and distant, but my advice is to act the way you want to act.
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