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too late or just the begining?
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Author:  DannyRip [ Sun Jan 17, 2010 9:24 pm ]
Post subject:  too late or just the begining?

So basically I'm like a lot of new comers. I see a girl I like and want to ask her out. I actually met her through a friend at a party. We drank and talked, and the next day i asked her and her friend's number so that we could hang out, not to look creepy (that's why i asked her friend as well). I texted her 1 day and asked if she wanted to hang out, so we did with her friends. Drank and had fun, and went back home. Nothing sexual. Than i see her again because her other friend was at a party and i saw her there, and I didn't really say much or show much interest i guess. I hate acting sexual in front of others. While I dropped her off after the party, I asked if she wanted to get something to eat. She said we'll see just call me, something a long those lines. I didn't call her back cause i woke up late. It is now time for me to go back up to my school and wont see her till spring and summer. My plan is to ask her to go to the beach or something with my friends and maybe ask if she wants to bring a friend or 2 as well to not look like a creep. I feel that she's still building comfort with me, thus i don't think i'm labeled as a "friend" yet, and hopefully it wont be.

so cliffs,
Hanged out a few times, didn't do much, did smile and laugh.
Were both pretty quite so I guess that's why.
Might ask her to go to the beach during spring or summer and not sure what to do if she says yes. Another words what to do while were there. Touch her? no idea.
Not sure what to do, especially asking her out.

Do you guys just go up to the girl and say, do you want to go out with me? or something like, your my girl (just stating it i guess?). I haven't had a relationship in a while, sorry.

Thanks

Author:  Chillburg [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 1:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: too late or just the begining?

Quote:
My plan is to ask her to go to the beach or something with my friends and maybe ask if she wants to bring a friend or 2 as well to not look like a creep. I feel that she's still building comfort with me, thus i don't think i'm labeled as a "friend" yet, and hopefully it wont be.
Ask her to tag along with you and some friends, and that she should bring some friends as well, yes.
Quote:
Do you guys just go up to the girl and say, do you want to go out with me? or something like, your my girl (just stating it i guess?). I haven't had a relationship in a while, sorry.
I dont know how old you are but thats what I would have done if I were 14 or something (not trying to be a dick). The way I see it, is you shouldn't talk about it yet. You just have to make sure you dont become a friend, by using a lot of kino and it has to lead to a kiss (and pretty soon too). I know this is standard advice but it's just how it works. You like a girl, she likes you, you touch her and set a sort of seductive/sexual frame, you kiss, and you just go with the flow from there.[/quote]

Author:  DannyRip [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 7:08 am ]
Post subject: 

true i see your point and im 18. Kissing in the water? good or bad? It might seem really weird to just swim up to her and kiss her, u know? Even if we were kinoescalating.

Secondly, I guess the thing thats stopping me is the fact that she knows a lot of my friends and if i try to go in for the kiss close and she turns way or says what are you doing, that will kill me literally, and the hour drive back home would be awkward.

Lastly, if i like her and she likes me and i don't kiss her for a while but still like her, wouldnt that mean she could still like me? i don't see why i have to kiss her so soon.
And would it be a bad idea if the scenario was something like this... were swimming together and i grab her and ask her something a long the lines of, am i feeling something? and she replies yes/no and i just go for the kiss?
Because what i found out about asian chicks is that they'll think your a creep unless you "know" them well... that's what's really stopping me.

oh yeah, Any kino tips for the beach?

Thanks

Author:  Chillburg [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 4:15 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Lastly, if i like her and she likes me and i don't kiss her for a while but still like her, wouldnt that mean she could still like me? i don't see why i have to kiss her so soon.
Sure she will still like you, but the problem is she'll start to think of you as a friend, because there is a lot of comfort, but no attraction.
Quote:
And would it be a bad idea if the scenario was something like this... were swimming together and i grab her and ask her something a long the lines of, am i feeling something? and she replies yes/no and i just go for the kiss?
Because what i found out about asian chicks is that they'll think your a creep unless you "know" them well... that's what's really stopping me.
I wouldnt do something like that. The best way to get a kiss close at the beach-date is, to isolate her when you're home (hard to isolate on the beach with friends). Walk her to her door or whatever, be sure to drop her off last, just get some alone time, tell her you have a good movie that she should come watch, anything!
Quote:
oh yeah, Any kino tips for the beach?

Thanks
Tell her she's getting sunburn and that you'll rub some more sunblock on her back, but be REALLY confident with it and don't show you're nervous or she will pick up on it. I would say "oh shit you're getting pretty red on your back, i'll put some sunblock on it"

BUT, you should do some playful kino before that, (like i dont know, getting her to sit on your shoulders and battle with your friends you know, anything) or you might seem like you are just in it for the touching.[/quote]

Author:  supachai [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 10:59 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
i don't see why i have to kiss her so soon.
You don't want to waste your time on just a friend. If she wants you, she'll kiss you back, if not, NEXT!

But don't freak out when she doesn't want to kiss you. That just means you gotto work harder to make her work harder for you.

Author:  DannyRip [ Tue Jan 19, 2010 3:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

Well, i'm not sure if its the right decision, but i feel that i would feel better kissing her after she becomes my girl friend.

Basically when i was younger all i said was, do you want to go out with me? and they would say yes/no. And we become bf/gf.
However now that i'm older, its a little different from what i'm used to.

Usually now a days when I ask a girl if she wants to go eat, she thinks of it as a friend thing and not a date. If i said do you want to go on a date, it would be awkward.

Author:  Chillburg [ Tue Jan 19, 2010 3:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

You're asking for advice but then we give it and you're like "oh, well nah guys ill just do it the way I always used to do it".

You feel that it would be better kissing her after she becomes your girlfriend, you say.

You're 18, are you seriously going be like "hey lets go on a date" and when you go on a date --> you have fun --> you ask her "hai lets go steady/be my girlfriend :3?"

Do you honestly believe that will work?

Even if you kiss, she's not your girlfriend yet, and you shouldnt ask her to be. Date her, as in, hang out with eachother, kiss, cuddle, make out, share stuff, have sex, etc. And THEN when you've done this for a while (a few weeks/a month, whatever, just not on the 2nd date), you can tell her you want to be exclusive or that you want her to be your girlfriend.
Quote:
Usually now a days when I ask a girl if she wants to go eat, she thinks of it as a friend thing and not a date. If i said do you want to go on a date, it would be awkward.
Thats because you dont set the correct frame, you have the wrong way of seeing things. You think "oh ill befriend her first then I will make my advances" that's just not how it works (most of the time).

GIRLS DON'T SEE YOU AS A POTENTIAL MATE, BUT AS A FRIEND BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU MADE OF YOURSELF

Then of course it would be awkward if a good friend asks you on a date, because you thought he was just a friend with no interest in you, unlike the other 'friends' you have.

It's all about the frame you have and if you don't kino, or if you just listen to her stories about bad boyfriends and stuff going on in her life, you will be her therapist/guyfriend who she can ONLY talk to.

1. HANG OUT
2. KINO ESCALATE
3. KISS
4. ????
5. PROFIT

man i really hope you get what i'm saying this time bro.

Author:  DannyRip [ Tue Jan 19, 2010 4:01 pm ]
Post subject: 

ok, i will go for it. Should I go straight for the kiss or kinda like meet me half way thing? and kissing on the cheeks is a bad thing or no?

Author:  Chillburg [ Tue Jan 19, 2010 4:10 pm ]
Post subject: 

Read this link:

http://www.directnaturalgame.com/Techni ... adder.html

this is vin dicarlo's escalation ladder, it is a GUIDELINE, not something you should follow 100%.

Make it all seem natural, you know this girl quite a bit already so when she shows 'good behaviour' like making a joke you laugh at, or when she compliments you or whatever, reward her with a hug and/or a kiss on the cheek. When you hug her, put your (right) hand on her lower back. Pull away slowly while looking into her eyes, just as if you're about to kiss her. And then turn around or back away and smile at her in a way that she will know you like her, like a grin or whatever.

This will build up tension. If you have built up enough tension and when she knows you're more than just a friend, go for the kiss.

Be playful about it, don't be afraid to touch her, or to give her a little push when she deserves it.

Eye Contact:
When you two are close to each other, triangle gaze (that means: look into her left eye, then the right, and then look at her mouth, and repeat). But dont make it look forced or robotic. You do this while talking or listening to her.

This is what people do that have sexual tension going between them, and if you do this you will create it.

go get em bro, I really hope you pull it off and i'm sure you will if you BELIEVE YOURSELF that you can do this, just KNOW that you can do it.

Chillburg

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