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I blew my girlfriend's "shit test". Help. =/
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Author:  D4v1dM4nn [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 11:03 pm ]
Post subject:  I blew my girlfriend's "shit test". Help. =/
The rules for the "relationship" section of the forums changed.. I frequently visit the forums... but I guess I'll just post this here. Hopefully it'll work. =/

Ok... so I have been dating this girl for about 6 months now and everything has been generally pretty smooth. I have kept the alpha male stance with her and have also kept up my inner game. I usually always pass her test, however I blew this one up beyond repair I believe. Ugh.

I was out with my girlfriend one day and she was (sorry for being graphic) she was talking about how big my d***k is. She said it was amazing. I asked her "am I the biggest you've ever been with?" And she replied that she has only slept with three guys before me and that she's had a "small, medium, and huge dick". She explianed who the small and medium were - I assumed I was the huge. She said she had a one night stand with a guy and his was bigger than mine. She told me that I was very close to how large he was, but that he was a bit bigger. She went on to say it his shit hurt her and stuff. Things I really didn't care to hear.

Ok.. so lately what she said has been on my mind A LOT. I told her it bothered me. It didn't make me jealous, because I am confident with myself and know I'm amazing.. but it is on my mind. I then DLV'ed hella hard and told her that it makes me uncomfortable and that now when we do sexual things together it's gonna be on my mind... (it will.. I mean cummon.) I said it makes me uncomfortable around her and stuff knowing that. I blew it by telling her i'm not self concious - it just bothers me. I told her boyfriend's get bothered by girlfriend's past sex lives and stuff. I really DLV'ed hard. =(

I should have just not said anything, because she has told me (and I've heard from other girls) that I am the best sex they've ever had...I'm 7+ myself... but it just bothers me none the less.

Is this situation recoverable? Or did I blow it too much? Ugh. I let hormones take over my mind. Help =(
Author:  DboTheHero [ Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Just my opinion, but after 6 months in a relationship I would've thought you could let your guard down a bit, and not worry so much about the alpha male stance, or passing her shit tests.

I can see why it made you feel uncomfortable. But really you've got to let it go or the relationship is going to fade out, over something really unimportant.

And besides, what girl would want sex to hurt?

Btw, can I ask how did your girlfriend react when you said it made you feel uncomfortable?

~Deebo
Author:  Ezo [ Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:21 am ]
Post subject: 
In my experience its not the bigger the better... unfortunately... :twisted:

Anyways. This wasnt a shit test. You just let your insecurities shine through the topic. Treat it like it never happened.
Author:  D4v1dM4nn [ Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:30 am ]
Post subject: 
Good points. To the first response: you mentioned after six months I shoulda let my guard down a bit. I've tried to let my guard down a bit in past relationships - I always tend to turn into wussyman that takes shit from his GF if I do that. SO try not to let my guard down too much =/

(in response to your question of how she responded to my saying that)

When I said that to her she pretended to talk to herself and said "Great job, Michelle(that's her). Great way to f**k up the relationship, Michelle (her)". Then she appologized for the remark and said "I heart you" (we dont say "love" yet). When the situation was brought up for the second time, I said it makes me uncomfortable that she told me that and that she said that. And that it's gonna make me uncomfortable about it and her for a bit till it's off my mind. She replied with "I dont want to be with someone that is uncomfortable with / around me". I told her "yea I don't like feeling that way bout someone I care about."

(as for the second poster response)
You think I should just not bring it up anymore or even act like we ever talked about it? Just kinda wipe out the whole thing from my memory and carry on as if we never said those things? Even though I already DLV'ed hard?
Author:  Ezo [ Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:50 am ]
Post subject: 
Well it depends, how deep into the pile of shit you have dug yourself.

It is clear that her intention wasnt to hurt your feelings or manliness. She thought it was a stupid thing to say. You think it was a stupid thing to say. So you agree on that at least.

Stop thinking about it in terms of DLV and DHV. You are way beyond that now. Every time you take this up you will remember and remind her of the situation. It will be clear that you are not over it. That is not attractive. Issues are not attractive...

I think that she would feel better about the relationship if this one issue would be no more. Kill it! Do you think that you have a small dick? I guess not. Then dont worry.

If she brings it up then say. Yeah, I guess I overreacted, it was no biggie, dont worry about it.

Or show her your dick. ;)
Author:  trappinu [ Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:02 am ]
Post subject: 
this is honestly no big deal, just never bring it up again
Author:  D4v1dM4nn [ Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:06 am ]
Post subject: 
You are right. I did over react. I'll drop it and not bring it up anymore. I guess you're right about it being too far into the relationship to still be thinking about DLV and stuff. But I don't want to be a wuss either. But yea you are right. Thank you for the advice. I won't say another thing about it - unless she does.

And should I tell her first that I over reacted or should I wait to see if she even brings it up?

Thanks again!
Author:  trappinu [ Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You are right. I did over react. I'll drop it and not bring it up anymore. I guess you're right about it being too far into the relationship to still be thinking about DLV and stuff. But I don't want to be a wuss either. But yea you are right. Thank you for the advice. I won't say another thing about it - unless she does.

And should I tell her first that I over reacted or should I wait to see if she even brings it up?

Thanks again!
I disagree with people saying that once you are in a relationship you dont need to worry about DLv'ing..you want to keep the girl attracted to you and if you display yourself as a lower value than the person she was originally attracted to it cant be good for your relationship..and most definitely do not say another word about this incident unless she brings it up
Author:  Ezo [ Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:24 am ]
Post subject: 
You should wait until she brings it up or forever hold your peace.
Quote:
I disagree with people saying that once you are in a relationship you dont need to worry about DLv'ing..you want to keep the girl attracted to you and if you display yourself as a lower value than the person she was originally attracted to it cant be good for your relationship..and most definitely do not say another word about this incident unless she brings it up
I didnt say become a complete loser. I didnt say give up your status... I just said that he should stop thinking in the terms of DHV and DLV as in routines etc. You are gaming on a different level now. She is attracted, get the deep connection with her now.
Author:  D4v1dM4nn [ Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Ezo, this is going to sound really kinda lame, but how do I change the game to get deeper connection now? I've never met a girl I have wanted to date longer than 3 months. I usually move on. But she's different. Is there anything I can read about deeper connect or inner-relationship game?
Author:  DontHitMe [ Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:44 am ]
Post subject: 
I dont think she told you it to hurt your feelings. Remember you asked her, even though she shouldn't of told you that you werent the biggest, she was just being honest with you and making her feel bad about it will just make her not want to be honest with you.
Author:  dark one [ Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:49 am ]
Post subject: 
ok ok ok RELAX! You telling her that does not make you a weak chump it makes you human. If somthing is bothering you then you should voice it and let her know that it bothers you. Yes you should still stay alpha but at times its ok to talk about how you feel and athough I dont think you should turn into a paranoid crazy man over the situation, I still think what you told her is ok.

What should you say to her now? Tell her the reason it bothers you is because you feel like you are her man and you care about her and the thought of her with another guy bugs you but you trust her and the past is the past and you are looking forward to the future with her.

I know its hard not to thnk about the cocks that have been in your gf...we all do from time to time but you cant change the past so just drop it and move on. You love her? she loves you? you both are faithful? ok then be happy and live life.
Author:  General Lamb [ Fri Jan 15, 2010 11:13 am ]
Post subject: 
there isn't a problem at all here, imagine if it were the other way round? trust me the pride that comes with being told that you're much bigger than her ex is totally outweighed by the fact you're hurting her, it's not a nice feeling at all. =(
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
she's a dumb girl tho ... who in earth say such thing to a BF ? i mean WTFFFF
i think you replied cool because i would neg the shit out of her... GAWD, outweight you against your ex .... FUCK what if i outweight her to margeret thatcher ?!?!? how would she feel ?
i think you reacted cool ... no DLV or shit .. she's just dumb to bring up this ex topic and most guys would seriously bother. youre not acting weak ... you just stood up for yourself telling her you don't like that shit - nothing DLV or beta about it - however now you have made your point and you need to brush it off. What she did talking about it like that IS A TOTAL NO NO - you just don't say that shit unless you want your partner to feel really bad.
Quote:
I dont think she told you it to hurt your feelings. Remember you asked her, even though she shouldn't of told you that you werent the biggest, she was just being honest with you and making her feel bad about it will just make her not want to be honest with you.
shit ... sorry but i have to say ... WTF ... yeah lets get honest and hear shit about how she took that cock in her mouth - let's be honest and share every detail ..... jezus dude my GF doesn't have to hear how i jizzed in multiple girls when she asks '' how many GF's i had '' . every fucking idiot knows talking about things like this is BAD SHIT and telling your BF you had a one night stand ( and outweigthing against BF ) is a SELF DLV.
if you don't believe your DLV ing yourself then find a GF hook up with her for 1 or 2 months and tell her you had multiple one night stands lol ....

it's not only like you are bothered by her comparison like behaviour but your also see she DLVed herself.
Author:  D4v1dM4nn [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 7:45 am ]
Post subject: 
heh well thank you guys for all the advice and help. I used the advice - the topic never came back up. Thanks!
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