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open relationship for spring break?..
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Author:  trappinu [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:26 am ]
Post subject:  open relationship for spring break?..
me and my girlfriend are going on spring break to the bahamas with our friends, not together but we will both be there..she proposed the idea that we hook up with other people and each other on spring break..do you think this is a good idea? i told her i didnt think it would be good for us but i didnt have an answer to why..what do you guys think about this idea and if you disagree with it, why because when she asked why not i didnt know what to say..thanks guys
Author:  QWR324QWD [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:55 am ]
Post subject: 
I think it's a good idea if you're both OK with it.

Either you'll be comfortable with it, or you won't. Obviously you're not; to be honest, I wouldn't either. Hell, I would probably be offended just by the fact she suggested it.

Other people might tell you to chillax and just do it, but I say no. You obviously don't like it, and there is no reason for you to cave in. Just tell her the truth: you're not comfortable with it, and that's that. If she's unsatisfied with that answer then, honestly, she's not worth your time.

Stand your ground!
Author:  TheLastWolf [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I think it's a good idea if you're both OK with it.

Either you'll be comfortable with it, or you won't. Obviously you're not; to be honest, I wouldn't either. Hell, I would probably be offended just by the fact she suggested it.

Other people might tell you to chillax and just do it, but I say no. You obviously don't like it, and there is no reason for you to cave in. Just tell her the truth: you're not comfortable with it, and that's that. If she's unsatisfied with that answer then, honestly, she's not worth your time.

Stand your ground!
I completely agree with this. If you are NOT comfortable with it, don't do it.
Author:  trappinu [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
but this cant possibly be good for our relationship, can it? i need to give her a reason as to why it cant possibly be good for us but i cant think of a distinct one, help? i dont want to do this though at th moment, but we do have two months so maybe my mind will change between now and then
Author:  trappinu [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I really hope this isn't a serious relationship. If your having thoughts of a future with this girl, that request should put those in question.
I understand what your saying but what do you think I should say to her? and no, we are still in high school so it isnt very serious but I do like her a lot
Author:  dark one [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Horrible idea! If you have to debate that then Im going to guess that the two of you wont be with each other a year from now. Some couples can have "open relationships" and be fine with it but 99.9% of the time it will lead to a break up.

If my gf ever came to me and asked if I wanted to have an open relationship I would dump her ass...no need to stay with a women who is thinking about cheating.
Author:  General Lamb [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
she asked you that and she wants a reason why you're not cool with it? personally i'd end the relationship at this point. why be with someone who A) wants to get with other people and B) doesn't respect that you're not ok with that?
kick her and try someone else = )
Author:  trappinu [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Horrible idea! If you have to debate that then Im going to guess that the two of you wont be with each other a year from now. Some couples can have "open relationships" and be fine with it but 99.9% of the time it will lead to a break up.

If my gf ever came to me and asked if I wanted to have an open relationship I would dump her ass...no need to stay with a women who is thinking about cheating.
thing is we definitely wont be together a year from now, we are both going off to college in 8 months so staying together through that is out of the question but as for now, I dont want to say yes but dont want to seem as jealous because that is unattractive
Author:  General Lamb [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
it sounds like you're investing too much emotionally in something that is doomed to fail. Try to distance yourself from her (begin recovering before it ends), and make sure YOU get with somebody on this spring break =)
Author:  trappinu [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Can you get with other girls? Is this whole problem all coming from the fact she'll get laid by strangers and you won't?
well in the 3 months in between the time we started dating and began going out I hooked up with 6 girls and she hooked up with one guy..on top of that shes not going to be having sex on spring break, just hooking up basically
Author:  QWR324QWD [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
well in the 3 months in between the time we started dating and began going out I hooked up with 6 girls and she hooked up with one guy..on top of that shes not going to be having sex on spring break, just hooking up basically
How do you know this?

Remember, even though this relationship will end soon - herpes is for life.
Author:  trappinu [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
well in the 3 months in between the time we started dating and began going out I hooked up with 6 girls and she hooked up with one guy..on top of that shes not going to be having sex on spring break, just hooking up basically
How do you know this?

Remember, even though this relationship will end soon - herpes is for life.
because she isnt a whore and doesnt fuck guys she just met, that is unlike her and she wouldnt do it, she calls other girls out for doing it all the time and is literally one of the most trustworthy people i have ever met, and no i am not biased
Author:  trappinu [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
so no one still answered the question..would this be bad for our relationship? if so, what is a reason because when she asked me for one i didnt have one for her even though i dont believe this can be a good thing in any way
Author:  QWR324QWD [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 11:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
because she isnt a whore and doesnt fuck guys she just met, that is unlike her and she wouldnt do it, she calls other girls out for doing it all the time and is literally one of the most trustworthy people i have ever met, and no i am not biased
Forgive my sarcasm but your girlfriend asked you if she can hook up with other guys over spring break. Maybe "whore" is too harsh of a word, but if my girlfriend suggested this - the first thing on my mind would be to go get tested.

I get it, you like this girl. However, I think you need a splash of cold realism. Just because she doesn't normally have sex with guys she first met doesn't mean she won't.

Quote:
so no one still answered the question..would this be bad for our relationship? if so, what is a reason because when she asked me for one i didnt have one for her even though i dont believe this can be a good thing in any way
I'm pretty sure I did answer this. The reason is that you don't feel comfortable with it. What more does she need? A dissertation on why you don't want your girlfriend hooking up with other men?
Author:  Chillburg [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 1:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Her asking that question makes me believe that this is doomed to fail soon, no matter what you say.

If you say you don't want to do the open relation thing, she will probably dump you anyway, I mean, she's already thinking about what it would be like to hook up with other people. She will say something like "I NEED SPACE :cry: "

If you say yes, she will probably take full advantage of it and you will be left with sloppy seconds or the fact that she kissed/fucked other guys will gross you out and even if she's still with you after all this then you'll just be tormenting yourself.

Sure you get to screw around a little as well but you say you really like this girl, that won't be satisfying.

Your relationship is already over, and you should pull the trigger and you can feel good about yourself if you can be that strong, but thats just my 2 cents.
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