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How can They be so cold
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Author:  Dizzler [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 3:56 pm ]
Post subject:  How can They be so cold
First: I thought about putting this in the relationships section, but it's something that is effecting my game that has to do with relationships, so yeah.

I got dumped after a year of dating a girl about 1 month a go. It was my first LTR and I took it hard, but my ex-gf did things that were so cold, so emotionless and evil feeling I haven't been able to trust women since and I am continually growing afraid of them. In a nutshell my ex blocked by FB, untagged every photo of us, wrote me an email that said she wants nothing to do with me ever again, and blocked me out of her life. Now it was more the manner of the actions than the actions themselves that hurt. She was so emotionless, and cold, and after a year of loving someone how can you just do something like that? our breakup wasn't even that bad.

Anyway I'm afraid to get hurt again, I got over the post-break-up oneitis and other such things, but I literally fear women's ability to be so cold I've never experienced this.

Does anyone have any experience addressing this fear, or experience with the fear?
Author:  Dizzler [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 4:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Huh. Well cool I guess I'll just go with the flow.
Author:  The_Prophet [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 5:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think what Hobbit means :

In general - if someone suddenly acts emotionless/cold, it is their way of dealing with very STRONG emotions.

Specific to you - she dealt with you in that way because what she was doing was actually incredibly emotionally difficult and that was her way of dealing with HIGH emotions - by trying to show NO emotions.

Btw, I think it fucking sucks if a girl does that, but that's what I'm guessing Hobbit means and what happened in your case - if she tried to talk things through with you she'd have gone into emotional turmoil, so she went for the cold approach because she couldn't deal with her emotions.
Author:  Dizzler [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 6:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
That makes alot of sense, I can see that now. Anyway I'm really close to being over this one, so WHATEVER!
Author:  Marc [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 9:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The lack of emotional reaction is often an indicator of an emotional reaction. And its often a really strong emotional one.
Hobbit could you kindly elaborate on the above with one or two an examples. I got what Prophet said but could you give two examples to drive this point home, its interesting.
Author:  Marc [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 9:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Did you figure it out? If not, I'll give you a hint. Look around this forum for a few days. Pay attention to how these guys actions TRY to prove to the girl. Then read their thread and see whats actually going on in their mind. Have you figured out why they are TRYING to prove these things to themselves and others?
I'll have to look around this forum for sometime to understand this better. I know for a fact that most of the guys who come in crying(no offense we all do it probably) are TRYING to prove something to themselves and more importantly to the girl. But let me follow some threads to understand what you want me to. Thanks.

Quote:
1) Why would someone go through all the effort of untagging pictures on Facebook?
2) Why would someone feel the need to TELL you they want nothing to do with you?
3) Why would someone block their ex's facebook?

Now, figure out those motivations. But remember this part:What would a female do all those things? What is the motivation here. What is she TRYING (key word here) to prove to herself? To her friends? More importantly, to the original poster?

What is driving all these actions. There is a motivation. When there is this much effort involved, people just don't do things because they are bored.


People do these things iether when they hate someone or even when they sense danger of some kind say the guy turns out to be a stalker, or creepy, or hurtful/abusive, a bad reputation to the girl etc. and in all these cases they want to keep this guy away from there lives. Again a strong emotion. But has nothing to do with whether she is still in love with the guy or not right? I guess I'm just trying to differentiate whether all these actions mean that the girl still likes the guy but wants to distance herself because she can't deal with the feelings or just hates the guy and wants nothing to do with him.
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