PUA Forum :: girlfirend's best friend is a guy

How should i deal with my girls best friend when hes a guy?

So, my girlfriend's best friend is a guy and he lives in another city. She used to hang out with him all the time and sleep over when she lived back there but she swears he's just a friend, that nothing has ever happened, and she's not attracted to him in anyway other than a pal with whom she likes to hang out with. She talks to him on the phone frequently and on the computer and is really excited when she gets to go home because she gets to catch up with him.

She also acts different around him (attitude and the way she talks, etc.) which makes me wonder who she really is.

I have no reason to not believe her as i've met him (seems like a beta to me) but in a way he is so quick to post old pictures of them together and to post messages on her fb page all the time. Its just annoying because in a way he is disrespectful in some of his comments and the way he acts around her.

I told her that i respect her friendship and trust her but that she now also has a relationship to respect so don't make me take control of this because I will if I have to.

How do I stay in control without coming off as a jealous afc?

Author:	gotham [ Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:	girlfirend's best friend is a guy
How should i deal with my girls best friend when hes a guy? So, my girlfriend's best friend is a guy and he lives in another city. She used to hang out with him all the time and sleep over when she lived back there but she swears he's just a friend, that nothing has ever happened, and she's not attracted to him in anyway other than a pal with whom she likes to hang out with. She talks to him on the phone frequently and on the computer and is really excited when she gets to go home because she gets to catch up with him. She also acts different around him (attitude and the way she talks, etc.) which makes me wonder who she really is. I have no reason to not believe her as i've met him (seems like a beta to me) but in a way he is so quick to post old pictures of them together and to post messages on her fb page all the time. Its just annoying because in a way he is disrespectful in some of his comments and the way he acts around her. I told her that i respect her friendship and trust her but that she now also has a relationship to respect so don't make me take control of this because I will if I have to. How do I stay in control without coming off as a jealous afc?

Author:	dark one [ Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:29 pm ]
Post subject:
Set boundaries and dont question your self. She needs to understand that in a relationship sacrifices need to be made. As her boyfriend you are number one now and you are her best friend she need to realize that and if she doesnt understand why you wouldnt want her sleeping at another guys house then she has the problem not you. My gf has a good guy friend and I have made it clear to her that I dont want them hanging out alone....she can hang out with him with other people but there is no reason for him to come to her house and hang out alone. She is fine with that and she agrees. I wouldnt tell her she cant hang out with him any more but I would stay calm and just say you would rather her not hang out alone with this guy...simple if she fights with you dont fight back just stand your ground and walk out.

Author:	gotham [ Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:32 pm ]
Post subject:
Thanks Dark, i've already told her that she can hang out with him when she goes home but sleeping over puts me in a position where i'm going to step in and say 'no- you are disrespecting the relationship'. She agreed and I asked her how she would feel if I was sleeping over my girl friend's place when she was gone. i think she got it.

Author:	ghostdog [ Fri Jan 01, 2010 12:39 am ]
Post subject:	Re: girlfirend's best friend is a guy
Quote: How should i deal with my girls best friend when hes a guy? So, my girlfriend's best friend is a guy and he lives in another city. She used to hang out with him all the time and sleep over when she lived back there but she swears he's just a friend, that nothing has ever happened, and she's not attracted to him in anyway other than a pal with whom she likes to hang out with. She talks to him on the phone frequently and on the computer and is really excited when she gets to go home because she gets to catch up with him. She also acts different around him (attitude and the way she talks, etc.) which makes me wonder who she really is. I have no reason to not believe her as i've met him (seems like a beta to me) but in a way he is so quick to post old pictures of them together and to post messages on her fb page all the time. Its just annoying because in a way he is disrespectful in some of his comments and the way he acts around her. I told her that i respect her friendship and trust her but that she now also has a relationship to respect so don't make me take control of this because I will if I have to. How do I stay in control without coming off as a jealous afc? Well- I'd be questioning this as much as you probably are... Jealousy is probably NOT the right move here. I'd bring up my concerns AND of course you cannot tell her "do not be his friend" or anything like that... but talk to her about the sleeping over stuff and you can let her know that you will not be with a woman that has that close of relationship with a straight man. also- I would BE HIGHLY suspect of this relationship or the past history between these two. is he dating someone? did they date? she'd definitely NOT like it if the shoe were reversed. be prepared after discussion at somepoint to walk away. no need to put demands...only action...

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