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Getting Serious with my GF and she has kids.
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Author:  DeltaFoxtrot [ Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:44 am ]
Post subject:  Getting Serious with my GF and she has kids.

Well, i approached my current GF textbook on all fronts. I stayed mysterious and dangerous while being funny and unlike any guy she has dated.

I knew she had kids from the start and that didn't and still does not pose a problem.

I am just starting to think more about the long term and i think that shes great. But, deep down i don't know how to feel about taking care of another mans responsibility. I don't have kids of my own and realistically i would like to say that my wife/gf has only had the experience of having my child and not another mans.

She has also stated that she may not want a third child, which is the last hope for my family name (corny sounding i know) but really i am only one of two people alive that can pass my name down.

I only realistically have two options...stay or go....so i am not looking for suggestions. I just wanted to hear if i was alone in feeling this way and what others might feel about it.

Author:  ghostdog [ Fri Jan 01, 2010 12:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting Serious with my GF and she has kids.

Quote:
Well, i approached my current GF textbook on all fronts. I stayed mysterious and dangerous while being funny and unlike any guy she has dated.

I knew she had kids from the start and that didn't and still does not pose a problem.

I am just starting to think more about the long term and i think that shes great. But, deep down i don't know how to feel about taking care of another mans responsibility. I don't have kids of my own and realistically i would like to say that my wife/gf has only had the experience of having my child and not another mans.

She has also stated that she may not want a third child, which is the last hope for my family name (corny sounding i know) but really i am only one of two people alive that can pass my name down.

I only realistically have two options...stay or go....so i am not looking for suggestions. I just wanted to hear if i was alone in feeling this way and what others might feel about it.
Depends on how old you are? I mean if you're in your early 20s, its easy to find women w/out kids. However in your 30s most everyone has kids.

Ask yourself if you can deal with it.

Also, I made this mistake- I got serious with a girl who had 2 kids (18 and 9) and we all got real close and the kids loved me...and i loved them. they wanted me to be their step daddy (i know they asked). I was fine with this although I'd not made the decision to marry her or nothing.

In the end, we split and her oldest daughter and I continue a relationship and I saw her youngest Xmas eve and she's completely confused and devastated...

our relationship was torn right out from under her. and while both of us are reeling from the split, trust me those girls are as well. and i am also worried about her children (even tho they are not mine)

be careful and proceed with caution.

build your relationship with mom first...then get involved w/the children.

Author:  DeltaFoxtrot [ Fri Jan 01, 2010 1:49 am ]
Post subject: 

Thanks for the response. i am 26 btw

We are moving away to another state together, we will have about a month of no kids. Her daughter (2y/o) will come to live with us. After 6 months her son (6y/o) will come to stay. Since she is guarded about her son getting to know me and we could possibly break up, i agreed to move out when he comes to stay. Although i wonder the effect that will have on the 2y/o


I feel with time i can come to deal with just about anything. But, she asked me if i felt like i was settling for second best by dating her with 2 kids. It made me think that i could very well find a girl my age or younger who is single...no kids...and willing to start a family. its an appealing offer no doubt.

But i can't deny i am crazy for my girl and shes a good woman... that's appealing as well.

Author:  ghostdog [ Fri Jan 01, 2010 11:00 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Thanks for the response. i am 26 btw

We are moving away to another state together, we will have about a month of no kids. Her daughter (2y/o) will come to live with us. After 6 months her son (6y/o) will come to stay. Since she is guarded about her son getting to know me and we could possibly break up, i agreed to move out when he comes to stay. Although i wonder the effect that will have on the 2y/o


I feel with time i can come to deal with just about anything. But, she asked me if i felt like i was settling for second best by dating her with 2 kids. It made me think that i could very well find a girl my age or younger who is single...no kids...and willing to start a family. its an appealing offer no doubt.

But i can't deny i am crazy for my girl and shes a good woman... that's appealing as well.
How long have yall dated?

Seriously- I hope it goes well for ya. Just know (if you don't have any children yourself) that you look to signing on to a ready made family...

Best of luck...

Author:  TheLastWolf [ Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:54 am ]
Post subject: 

You need to discuss this with her. If you want to have a child and she doesn't, it will only cause problems in the future and then a break up soon after that.

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