PUA Forum :: Not in love anymore or just a "bad" phase?

Hi pals;) Some boring but important information about us: have had a relationship with my girlfriend for 8 months. We're soon to be 20 years of age. We're attending the same school, but don't live together (talked about it and considers to do it - ouch??). Outside of school we're alone together 2-4 times a week, and a little more during vacations (we have sex 2-6 times a week).

In the start of the relationship (also commonly called the honeymoon phase) I was madly in love with me chick. I guess that's normal aye? However, during the last 10 days or so, I have felt different towards her in several ways:

Careless: I don't miss her that much. I'm not waiting for a phone-call or a text-message anymore. During the last 10 days I haven't felt the feeling "I want to hear from her, ill send her a message or call!" Basically I have been sending text-messages or called because it's normal to have contact inside of a relationship, not because I want to talk to her?:( If she's "ignoring" me over 1 day I don't care at all. My feelings says "whatever..."

Less sexual interested: She's is always horny. I used to be that too. I feel like I have sex with her because I want to jerk off, not because she's my girlfriend. When she get orgasms I think "Im a man, hell yeah" not "I love when she feels so good!" When I see my gf it's not like im thinking "damn I want to fuck her!!!" Am I asexual (hell no!) or am I not attracted to her in a sexual way?

Being with her: Before I couldn't wait to have a day alone with my girlfriend, now I sometimes think of it as "boring" and "stressfull." During the last week I felt like I would of rather been alone...why?

Not ready for relationship: Im thinking the thought of being single more now, than before. I have been flirting/talking increasingly to other girls during the last couple of days... would the single-life suit me better at the moment?

WHAT TO DO?

Author:	Consistence [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 4:57 pm ]
Post subject:	Not in love anymore or just a "bad" phase?
Hi pals;) Some boring but important information about us: have had a relationship with my girlfriend for 8 months. We're soon to be 20 years of age. We're attending the same school, but don't live together (talked about it and considers to do it - ouch??). Outside of school we're alone together 2-4 times a week, and a little more during vacations (we have sex 2-6 times a week). In the start of the relationship (also commonly called the honeymoon phase) I was madly in love with me chick. I guess that's normal aye? However, during the last 10 days or so, I have felt different towards her in several ways: Careless: I don't miss her that much. I'm not waiting for a phone-call or a text-message anymore. During the last 10 days I haven't felt the feeling "I want to hear from her, ill send her a message or call!" Basically I have been sending text-messages or called because it's normal to have contact inside of a relationship, not because I want to talk to her?:( If she's "ignoring" me over 1 day I don't care at all. My feelings says "whatever..." Less sexual interested: She's is always horny. I used to be that too. I feel like I have sex with her because I want to jerk off, not because she's my girlfriend. When she get orgasms I think "Im a man, hell yeah" not "I love when she feels so good!" When I see my gf it's not like im thinking "damn I want to fuck her!!!" Am I asexual (hell no!) or am I not attracted to her in a sexual way? Being with her: Before I couldn't wait to have a day alone with my girlfriend, now I sometimes think of it as "boring" and "stressfull." During the last week I felt like I would of rather been alone...why? Not ready for relationship: Im thinking the thought of being single more now, than before. I have been flirting/talking increasingly to other girls during the last couple of days... would the single-life suit me better at the moment? WHAT TO DO?

Author:	dark one [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Not in love anymore or just a "bad" phase?
Quote: Hi pals;) Some boring but important information about us: have had a relationship with my girlfriend for 8 months. We're soon to be 20 years of age. We're attending the same school, but don't live together (talked about it and considers to do it - ouch??). Outside of school we're alone together 2-4 times a week, and a little more during vacations (we have sex 2-6 times a week). In the start of the relationship (also commonly called the honeymoon phase) I was madly in love with me chick. I guess that's normal aye? However, during the last 10 days or so, I have felt different towards her in several ways: Careless: I don't miss her that much. I'm not waiting for a phone-call or a text-message anymore. During the last 10 days I haven't felt the feeling "I want to hear from her, ill send her a message or call!" Basically I have been sending text-messages or called because it's normal to have contact inside of a relationship, not because I want to talk to her?:( If she's "ignoring" me over 1 day I don't care at all. My feelings says "whatever..." Less sexual interested: She's is always horny. I used to be that too. I feel like I have sex with her because I want to jerk off, not because she's my girlfriend. When she get orgasms I think "Im a man, hell yeah" not "I love when she feels so good!" When I see my gf it's not like im thinking "damn I want to fuck her!!!" Am I asexual (hell no!) or am I not attracted to her in a sexual way? Being with her: Before I couldn't wait to have a day alone with my girlfriend, now I sometimes think of it as "boring" and "stressfull." During the last week I felt like I would of rather been alone...why? Not ready for relationship: Im thinking the thought of being single more now, than before. I have been flirting/talking increasingly to other girls during the last couple of days... would the single-life suit me better at the moment? WHAT TO DO? Beleve it or not this is very common! In your head you are prob think "Im so bored! I love her and I know we are good togeather but I feel like Im young and bored and want to go sleep with random women" lol am I right? Listen man I have felt this way and I would way before and I would day 99% of people in serious relationships or married couples feel this way at some point in there life. What should you do? well If you truly love her then you need to re light the flame! you need to make things exciting again! How do you do that? well Il tell you what I did. 1. Get to know each other again: Go out to dinner or for drinks and talk about what you both are passionate about! tell her to dress up and you dress up and just have fun...talk about what you guys want in life ect ect. 2. Make sex fun again!: Sex gets boring If you dont spice things up so you need to alway be trying new things! and give each other somthing to look forward to. Go to a sex shop and get some new toys...they dont have to be crazy but you can get lubes that tingle, vibrating cock rings lol all kinda of weird shit that makes sex fun! Have sex in new ways and new places, on desks, couches, in the shower ect ect. 3. Try new things togeather: Get a hobby with each other. The gym, a new sport, somthing you can do togeather that will better the both of you. If you sit around home all the time and watch movies things will get boring! 4. Go out and have fun!: Go out to the club with each other and have fun! go with friends and just havea good time. Dance, drink, forget about your problems and have fun! hope I could help? I have felt what you are feeling before it is happend when my gf was moody and things were boring. Sex was always the same, she stoped dressing up and puting on makup as much ect ect...so I spiced things up and made things exciting again.

Author:	dark one [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 5:40 pm ]
Post subject:
Some of the best advice I got was from my dad who has been married to my mom for over 30 years. He said to me "A relationship is hard work! you cant just depend on love to fix the problems" the reason so many people get divorced or break up today is because no one want to work at a relationship. It easy to point fingers and give up but If you work at your relationship every day you will be happy and thankful! Most most of the time I think we all take what we have for granted...when things become routine it is easy to not care...so make things less routine, more fun, and work on geting to know each other again.

Author:	paxis [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 8:28 pm ]
Post subject:
Take 2 or 3 friends of yours to an adventurous trip with no cellphone for 3/4 days. When you get back you'll know how different you are when your relationship with her goes to the next step.

Author:	Gibbon [ Fri Jan 01, 2010 5:53 pm ]
Post subject:
The exact same thing happened to me. For a while, things sucked and i acted like i was still enjoying it. then I actaully just let those feelings run its course. she seemed to be getting the idea i was going to break up with her, and i let her think that. Then all of a sudden she started acting super-cuddly again, she spent hours coaxing me back to where we were. Let her know if things dont get better, you're leaving. dont verbally give her an ultimatum, just give her significantly less interest. block off contact for a while. show her that you have other interests if you're not willing to make it work.

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Author:	Gibbon [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:
Scratch what i said. It was good for another week, and now it sucks again. Im moving on. good luck with yours =P

Author:	Lodewijkp [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:48 pm ]
Post subject:
well enough said here... i faced the same problem like you and i froze myself out not investing into my relationship for almost 2 weeks. I took a break and after my break i missed her and loved her again , you only realise what you really miss when you don't got it anymore. taking a break is a good option but investing like dark one said could also work

Author:	IML [ Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:11 am ]
Post subject:
Give yourself some time, as said before. My relationship also turned out like this, but after a 2 week break it suddenly got better. You'll get to miss all the big and small things, and you realize you actually had a great time with her. Think about your past, all the positive things you've experienced together and why you started dating her after all.

Author:	Green_Eyes [ Fri Jan 08, 2010 6:16 pm ]
Post subject:
I'm in the same situation now. I've became so bored with our relationship that I started devoting my time and energy back into the game and seducing women again. Eventhough im in a relationship I just seem to not care about what happens anymore and I wouldnt even care if we broke up. But its like yall have said things have become routine we do the same thing everytime we hang out i see my guy friends less so everything looks horrible. But the best way to fix things is always to switch the flow up. Look at her as if you just met a new girl at a club and now you want to get to know this new girl and let her meet your friends and drink with you and whatever stuff you do. Eventually she will come around and start trying to make things better because your no longer showing her attention. Thats my advice.

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