PUA Forum :: Girlfriend & Past Sexual Partners

how do you handle knowing that your girlfriend has had a few sexual partners in the past?
i guess there's no point in getting jealous but should you just forget about it?

it might be some insecurity on my part. i don't like to think about my gf banging another guy before me, even though it's in the past.
so in your opinion, how does one get past this issue?
thanks

Ok most guys in here will tell you "It doesint matter" but the fact is that it does and I will tell you why.

How many men a women has slept with, and who she has slept with says alot about her! most women who sleep around have low self esteem and it is important to get to the root of why...If she doesnt think highly of her self and she has bagage that could interfear with your relationship then that is somthing you want to know. I think the number of men she has slept with also speaks volumes about her morals and her backround.

My gf told me one night when she was drunk that her number was 7...most women lie so Im going to guess it more along the lines of 10 mabey 12 other guys....now to me that gross! even 7 is to many considering I met her when she was only 19. I had a problem and still do have a problem with it because I know she has low self asteem and it makes sex beetween us feel less special.

That being said I love her to death and even though it bothers me I wouldnt want to be with any one eles, and I know she is faithful to only me so in that end that all that really matters. I also know that as her partner it is my job to help her gain back her confidence and become a stronger person instead of knocking her down like most of the other men in her life did....there is a reason for what she did and it is my job as her man to help her become a better person rather then make her feel like shit.

It comes down to how much you like her and if you think she will be faithful or not? As long as she loves you and only you then you have nothing to worry about.

Quote:

I agree, the value of something is proportional to its exclusivity. A woman who values herself highly is selective about sexual partners. When that lady chooses you, its no doubt a boost to ego.

I think also, most of us...even the most well versed playboy at some point wants to attempt marriage or an exclusive relationship. Its programmed in our head that our wife's should be virgins....years of religious principles but some valid social reasons as well shape this. Its no doubt that people are better bonded when they experience many "first" together.

I don't say this often, but you guys are ignorant. If Chief saw these views, he'd be liable to rip you a new hole. This reflects so many problems that are limiting your progress, when you get better and happen to reread this post, you may attempt to delete it out of shame.

Please read this thread: misogynous-vt58422.html

I know there is hope for some of you who share this perspective. Good luck

how do you handle knowing that your girlfriend has had a few sexual partners in the past?
i guess there's no point in getting jealous but should you just forget about it?

Author:	sorin93 [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 12:37 am ]
Post subject:	Girlfriend & Past Sexual Partners
how do you handle knowing that your girlfriend has had a few sexual partners in the past? i guess there's no point in getting jealous but should you just forget about it?

Author:	Angelz [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 12:57 pm ]
Post subject:
You shouldn't really care unless you want to get seriouse with the girl. And even if you do - if played your game right, it shouldnt matter how many men she has had sex with.

Author:	JSmooth [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:10 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend & Past Sexual Partners
Quote: how do you handle knowing that your girlfriend has had a few sexual partners in the past? i guess there's no point in getting jealous but should you just forget about it? I think we need to get to the root of this issue. Honestly, why does it bother you that she has had a few sexual partners in the past?

Author:	sorin93 [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 4:16 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend & Past Sexual Partners
it might be some insecurity on my part. i don't like to think about my gf banging another guy before me, even though it's in the past. so in your opinion, how does one get past this issue? thanks

Author:	JSmooth [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 4:32 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend & Past Sexual Partners
Quote: it might be some insecurity on my part. i don't like to think about my gf banging another guy before me, even though it's in the past. so in your opinion, how does one get past this issue? thanks Well man, I am glad that you can admit it, because many guys can't. How does one get past this issue? Well, #1 you have to realize that it's just your mind fucking with you. The problem with information like this is once you know it it's hard to get out of your head. Personally, I don't ask what a girls # is and don't tell mine. If it's more than 1 then it doesn't matter cause she's not a virgin anymore, and as long as she is disease free I'm cool. Now that you have that info in your head you just have to tell yourself it's no big deal. What's in the past doesn't matter. She is with you know because she cares about you and that's what is important.

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Author:	dark one [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 4:33 pm ]
Post subject:
Ok most guys in here will tell you "It doesint matter" but the fact is that it does and I will tell you why. How many men a women has slept with, and who she has slept with says alot about her! most women who sleep around have low self esteem and it is important to get to the root of why...If she doesnt think highly of her self and she has bagage that could interfear with your relationship then that is somthing you want to know. I think the number of men she has slept with also speaks volumes about her morals and her backround. My gf told me one night when she was drunk that her number was 7...most women lie so Im going to guess it more along the lines of 10 mabey 12 other guys....now to me that gross! even 7 is to many considering I met her when she was only 19. I had a problem and still do have a problem with it because I know she has low self asteem and it makes sex beetween us feel less special. That being said I love her to death and even though it bothers me I wouldnt want to be with any one eles, and I know she is faithful to only me so in that end that all that really matters. I also know that as her partner it is my job to help her gain back her confidence and become a stronger person instead of knocking her down like most of the other men in her life did....there is a reason for what she did and it is my job as her man to help her become a better person rather then make her feel like shit. It comes down to how much you like her and if you think she will be faithful or not? As long as she loves you and only you then you have nothing to worry about.

Author:	arcteryx [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 4:43 pm ]
Post subject:
As others have said it's all just a number and it's something you'll eventually learn to deal with. Normally its something that I could care less about, BUT sometimes depending on their age and HB factor it will play into the equation. From the sound of it, you feel like you would love to have been her first(who wouldn't right?), is that true? If so(and this may sound corny, but it's helped before), try setting up a special night and "pretending" its her first. That may help calm your mind some.

Author:	dark one [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 5:09 pm ]
Post subject:
I think the more emotionally invested in somone we are the more we care...I have dated women who have slept around and I didnt really care that much because I knew it wasnt a serious relationship...now I am with the love of my life and it bothers me to no end! I do wish I was her first but that just somthing you have to deal with.

Author:	bighurt01 [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 6:40 pm ]
Post subject:
I haven't heard anyone say this so I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I used to feel the same way about my girlfriends, wanting them to have as few sexual partners as possible. The less the better in fact. That was until I slept with a girl with a little experience under her belt(pardon the pun). I know you care about this chick and all but I bet she knows what she's doing. Virgins, typically aren't very good in bed. I'm not saying you want to sleep with the village bicycle or anything but I'm just trying to put a diferent spin on your situation. I bet your girl does a lot better job in the sack than a virgin would. I'm just sayin'!

Author:	paxis [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 8:25 pm ]
Post subject:
I'm going to be a little harsh, maybe because I hate beer, I don't know. You have nothing to do with her past life. You have nothing to do with her previous sexual partners. You have nothing to do with the score she gave to her last laids. You have something to do when she says "oh crap, you're the best/worst sexual partner I've ever had." A little pictoresc, I know, but I hope you understand it

Author:	DeltaFoxtrot [ Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:31 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Ok most guys in here will tell you "It doesint matter" but the fact is that it does and I will tell you why. How many men a women has slept with, and who she has slept with says alot about her! most women who sleep around have low self esteem and it is important to get to the root of why...If she doesnt think highly of her self and she has bagage that could interfear with your relationship then that is somthing you want to know. I think the number of men she has slept with also speaks volumes about her morals and her backround. My gf told me one night when she was drunk that her number was 7...most women lie so Im going to guess it more along the lines of 10 mabey 12 other guys....now to me that gross! even 7 is to many considering I met her when she was only 19. I had a problem and still do have a problem with it because I know she has low self asteem and it makes sex beetween us feel less special. That being said I love her to death and even though it bothers me I wouldnt want to be with any one eles, and I know she is faithful to only me so in that end that all that really matters. I also know that as her partner it is my job to help her gain back her confidence and become a stronger person instead of knocking her down like most of the other men in her life did....there is a reason for what she did and it is my job as her man to help her become a better person rather then make her feel like shit. It comes down to how much you like her and if you think she will be faithful or not? As long as she loves you and only you then you have nothing to worry about. I agree, the value of something is proportional to its exclusivity. A woman who values herself highly is selective about sexual partners. When that lady chooses you, its no doubt a boost to ego. I think also, most of us...even the most well versed playboy at some point wants to attempt marriage or an exclusive relationship. Its programmed in our head that our wife's should be virgins....years of religious principles but some valid social reasons as well shape this. Its no doubt that people are better bonded when they experience many "first" together.

Author:	Lodewijkp [ Thu Dec 31, 2009 3:59 pm ]
Post subject:
how many girls did you bang ? she could be thinking the same of you .... íts just your mind fucking with you ... stop asking and stop thinking about it. stuff like this can sabotage your relationship......

Author:	dark one [ Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:17 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Quote: Ok most guys in here will tell you "It doesint matter" but the fact is that it does and I will tell you why. How many men a women has slept with, and who she has slept with says alot about her! most women who sleep around have low self esteem and it is important to get to the root of why...If she doesnt think highly of her self and she has bagage that could interfear with your relationship then that is somthing you want to know. I think the number of men she has slept with also speaks volumes about her morals and her backround. My gf told me one night when she was drunk that her number was 7...most women lie so Im going to guess it more along the lines of 10 mabey 12 other guys....now to me that gross! even 7 is to many considering I met her when she was only 19. I had a problem and still do have a problem with it because I know she has low self asteem and it makes sex beetween us feel less special. That being said I love her to death and even though it bothers me I wouldnt want to be with any one eles, and I know she is faithful to only me so in that end that all that really matters. I also know that as her partner it is my job to help her gain back her confidence and become a stronger person instead of knocking her down like most of the other men in her life did....there is a reason for what she did and it is my job as her man to help her become a better person rather then make her feel like shit. It comes down to how much you like her and if you think she will be faithful or not? As long as she loves you and only you then you have nothing to worry about. I agree, the value of something is proportional to its exclusivity. A woman who values herself highly is selective about sexual partners. When that lady chooses you, its no doubt a boost to ego. I think also, most of us...even the most well versed playboy at some point wants to attempt marriage or an exclusive relationship. Its programmed in our head that our wife's should be virgins....years of religious principles but some valid social reasons as well shape this. Its no doubt that people are better bonded when they experience many "first" together. I don't say this often, but you guys are ignorant. If Chief saw these views, he'd be liable to rip you a new hole. This reflects so many problems that are limiting your progress, when you get better and happen to reread this post, you may attempt to delete it out of shame. Please read this thread: misogynous-vt58422.html I know there is hope for some of you who share this perspective. Good luck Why is it ignorant? I have a high set of moral standards...I want my gf to have the same. So you can sit there and tell me that you would rather a whore then a "good girl" lets say you had a choice beetween a women who has had 3 partners in her like all of which she dated and a women who has slept around with 20-30 randoms you would pick the sluty one? common bro thats a joke! I know that trying to find a virgin is unrealistic but finding a women with self respect is not. I have no shame in what I posted.

Author:	dark one [ Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:21 pm ]
Post subject:
I will answere this for you plain in simple. How do you handle her past? You dont you ignore it and you love her for who she is...is it easy? no but If you love her and she loves you then thats all that matters and she is with you now not those other guys. either that or you leave her and find another women. If you want to be with her there is no point on dwelling on the past because as much as it sucks you cant change it.

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Author:	ghostdog [ Fri Jan 01, 2010 12:33 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend & Past Sexual Partners
Quote: how do you handle knowing that your girlfriend has had a few sexual partners in the past? i guess there's no point in getting jealous but should you just forget about it? Sorry to let ya know- BUT other than maybe your first girl, most women you will be with in your life will have had several partners. Rule 1: Don't ask, Don't tell. Rule 2: IF you're curious- refer to rule 1. Seriously- unless your gf was an street walker or worked in the Amsterdam Red Light what does it really matter? I assume you are young- but trust me, get over ego that this woman has been waiting for you her whole life to give you her virginity OR are her second man. Most girls will if they say anything at all about it- will say that they have had as many sexual partners as they had boyfriends/husbands. My last girlfriend, she'd had 3 previous LTR when I showed up...BUT let me tell you- this woman could screw like the best of them. She knew exactly what to do in a multitude of positions. "Ghostdog, I've only had 4 dicks in my life and your's is the biggest. I never thought I'd get a big one in my life- your's is perfect" So she knew how to play it... While I've been with plenty of women in my life and I knew a thing or 2 that she did not, let me tell you- this is the first woman that has really taught me anything substantial in bed...of course I never let on that she was really 'teaching' me very much...but she did... One day for a minute- I almost started to feel a little inadequate because she was just so danged skilled- BUT I appreciated the fact that I had a woman that knew what she wanted and knew how to please me with very little reservations. So what if someone else taught her most of what she knew? Hell, she was so hot blooded- she could have been the one doing all the teaching to her other bf's...