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The First Time
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Author:  HeistSTAT [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 9:39 am ]
Post subject:  The First Time
So i've been seeing a girl a few years younger than me for roughly 2-3 months now.
I've been overly cautious and managed to avoid asking her out officially or having the tag of Boyfriend/Girlfriend put on us but in doing so i have had to say we're "Exclusive".
My problem is the girls a virgin, and well being abit older im not exactly enjoying this drought in sex. I've spent nights at her house, in her bed, but i struggle to get even a real make out session, the best i can achieve is a 30 seconds lips kiss, very rare to get tongue or any real passion.
She's constantly telling em she loves me and i can tell the girls smitten for me and attracted to me.
So, what do i need to do to make her more comfortable with sex cos shes obviously uncomfortable.
Author:  Chillburg [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
progress slowly...tell her (while making out) how you love making out with her because her lips are so perfect and that you love the way she kisses or whatever.

maybe she's a bit uncomfortable with heavy make-out but if you reinforce to her that you really like it, she will loosen up.

Kiss every part of her body when you are in bed together and just let her know how much you like doing that and that her skin is perfectly soft.

Being sweet (which is not afc in a relationship like that) will make her more comfortable.

Also be more 'agressive'. Lie on top of her while making out and grab her leg and pull it up a little if you know what I mean. Be sexual, gently dry-hump her and squeeze her butt a little. Kiss her neck and run your fingers up and down her inner thigh.
Author:  michael1918 [ Tue Dec 22, 2009 1:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Agreed.

Also, you must play onto her emotional side. Cater for her emotionally. Tell her that she means alot to you and that she looks beautiful. That will definately raise her comfort with you.

However, im not sure if your intentions are pure. Are you only in the relationship for the physical? because you havent really stated your feelings towards her. In that case, the physical wont work if your not emotionally there for her + shes still a virgin. You dont want to see her exclusively?
Author:  HeistSTAT [ Tue Dec 22, 2009 9:19 am ]
Post subject: 
So i guess i should state, i do really care for the girl shes a really lovely person. I've been every bit your dreamboat sweetheart up untill now, haha affectionate, surprises, compliments the lot. And i guess being exclusive isn't really my style i kinda do slut around abit haha

The being abit more aggresive in bed bit i've experimenetd with, i moved so id be on top of top of her in bed and tried to move my hands around but she'll constantly look to hold hands when i get abit lower.
I'm wondering what people think of the "I want to connect physically" line and also if you think if i make it official and ask her out if shes more likely to want sex?

A recent advancement, she said she doesnt care if i kiss other girls, but she has no desire to do so. I can tell this girls smitten about me, and have also found out im her most serious bf yet.
Do you think its possible she just doesnt know how relationships work and is learning on the go?
Author:  Chillburg [ Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
A recent advancement, she said she doesnt care if i kiss other girls, but she has no desire to do so. I can tell this girls smitten about me, and have also found out im her most serious bf yet.
Do you think its possible she just doesnt know how relationships work and is learning on the go?
Sure it's possible, and it could be that she just tested you by saying she doesnt care if you kiss other girls to see how your reaction would be (and thus, your feelings for her). What did you say to that?

If you're really into this girl, why not make it 'official' and then you can pull the "we've been together for ** months now* card in a while :P

If she knows you're boyfriend/girlfriend then she might open up more as well
Author:  michael1918 [ Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
she said she doesnt care if i kiss other girls
You can throw the " i CAN kiss other girls, but id rather with you " card.

Im sure she knows how relationships work, tv does more than enough to enlighten us on the happenings of relationships, not to mention other sources. lol

If the lack of physical is really bothering you, you need to talk to her. For example, when your making out, and she gives you resistance when your getting too touchy, freeze her out. She'll want more of you since your not giving any. When she asks whats wrong, stay silent for a bit as if your thinking. Then let her know whats up. This was my situation also. The discussion turned into a fight, but was needed to progress further. I let my lady know that i do respect her, however being in a relationship for however long (it was 2months when we had that talk) earns more physical attraction. I forget how i worded it, but i avioded directly implying i wanted more physical. I took the emotional route, by saying 'you mean alot to me, and i wanna take this relationship further' or something.

Let us know how u go champ
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