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im cautious and doubting
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Author:  Lodewijkp [ Wed Dec 16, 2009 10:31 pm ]
Post subject:  im cautious and doubting
ok here''s the deal .. opinions would be alot of great help il try to make it as short as i can.


got girlfriend over 2 months right now

her ex-BF was a scumbag who treated her like shit ... abused her etc

we had sex .... it went fast but not too fast.

we don't have problems but she keeps shit testing me.. she keeps making stupid comments on txt how i think too much about myself.

WHICH isn't true because i give her alot of attention .. she keeps seeking attention - she wants me too invest way more then she is investing in me. if i react she doesn't always message me back

Sometimes she gets angry out of nothing .. but only when we are texting- in real life face to face im dominating and respecting her.

we see eachother 1 or 2 times a week... this week 2 times. if i txt her she wouldn't send me anything back and i just told her honestly i don;t like that.. i find that very insulting. ( ignoring )

I froze her out couple times and she chased me like crazy ..

somehow she told me yesterday she wants to take it slow, she told me she likes me and so forth - we still kiss passionate. she's afraid that im like her ex-BF .. she told me she find me hard to read. ( im very hard to read ).
we don't have that Boyfriend girlfriend system yet ... we have a relationship but somehow i can't really call her my GF if you get my point.

i know she's just afraid im like her EX-BF .. she wants to know me better and she even told me she wants to meet my parents and so forth.

when she told me about taking a bit distance and taking it slow, i brought up the sex topic in a funny way me : '' so does that mean we don't sleep together anymore... pitty '' she started laughing but she didn't say yes or know and she tried to explain me again. ( i dominate her in bed btw i can fuck her for hours )

of course you are thinking WTF are you asking and telling this .... im asking this because i had cheating girlfriends and girls who treated me like shit. im very cautious too -

i'm thinking she is like '' il hang around until i find something better''

of course im going to tell her i'm thinking this because girls i had who broke up or cheated talked about taking slow etc.

sorry for my bad grammar ... what is your opinion ..

thnx
Author:  gabzlora21 [ Thu Dec 17, 2009 1:37 am ]
Post subject: 
whats up bro! heres my input
i think you are doing everything good by keeping a good frame, and not letting her dominate you in person. however letting her to carry you around by telling you he doesnt want you to be like her ex-bf to me is B.S. Shes treating you like a puppy if you behave good you gonna get a treat (in the end is still her decision)

What i think you should do is somehow to comunnicate her that you are not gonna be around for long waiting for her wanna take things further you dont have to prove yourself to anyone and you are a man and shes out there always looking to see if you do something wrong. Because you are a man you have desires and plans which you are postponing because of her and her insecurities about you. Dont do this in a mean way you dont have to hurt her but you gotta keep her on her toes, your not gonna let someone waste your time.

:wink: hope it helps
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Thu Dec 17, 2009 1:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
nice inputs .. thanks guys.

it feels like she's playing games.... she is letting me go but is very clingy when i do go. she holds us in a loose fist. She tells me she want to know me better because when we do break up she would feel very bad for not taking the time to get accustomed/aquinted with me. very weird - im gonna bust her balls on that i don't like that sentence AT ALL

il just tell her i don't like her comparing me to her ex, i don't punch woman and i don't treat them like shit - 2 and a half month should have prove that. of course hobbit it's a traumatizing thing but i don't have to waste my time on someone who is slowing me down.

i don't like her mood switches and constant attacks either, she's constantly looking for me to do something wrong even if im nice she's trying to blame me for something.

i don't like her investing little bits while i'm doing way more and im sick of these mixed signal she's giving off.

i tell her plain 3 strikes in a row is out ... and she is deadly close to the thirth.


over a week we both got 2 weeks vacation ... im expected her to spend more time with me ( cmon a vacation we could see eachother more than 1 time a week ), if this doesn't change i will tell her im walking away. and i will walk away.....

i tell her i don't wanna be tied on a leash fuck that shit , if she really want to take it slow she shouldn't had sex numerous times with me. i think it's naieve and impulsive.

hobbit i agree with the trauma thing, so i have to be nice about it

gabzlora i agree with taking control because right now i agree with taking it slow she has an excuse to take it the way she want while i'm getting frustrated.
i think she needs to feel expandable ... like i can do without her keep her on her toes.

thanks for your input
Author:  Guiri [ Thu Dec 17, 2009 2:50 pm ]
Post subject:  I think your girlfriend should go shopping with my ex
I had a girlfriend like that once. There was no way of being good to here, because I was always ¨doing¨ something that I wasn´t doing well enough. Always something to complain about. In the end I just told her it wasn´t worth doing any effort, since she didn´t see the good intentions I had. After that she calmed down a little bit.

There´s something that I would do if I were you, regarding the wanting to meet your family matter. How could you present her to your mother if she wants to take things slow. I would put my foot down in that case, and just tell her that she can´t expect you to take her home to meet your parents if she´s not serious about your relationship. What I´d also do is hang out with friends a little bit more, maybe someday If she asks you to meet, you could say something like:´´ I´m sorry but I´ve got plans to see a movie with some friends´´ or whatever comes to mind. Now she can see, that you´re not on this planet just to fulfill her needs. If she´s not serious about you, than you shouldn´t ever bother.
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Thu Dec 17, 2009 5:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
very good advice ... about the parent thing - i will put my foot down next time i speak to her.

and hobbit i agree ...... but i don't want to sacrifice myself for one other - i only know her for a short period and her problems don't have to become my problems. i don't want to base a relationship on problems.


thanks for the replies
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