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| Can't find a happy medium, i'm either an asshole or a pussy https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=57528 |
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| Author: | taylormade [ Tue Dec 08, 2009 9:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Can't find a happy medium, i'm either an asshole or a pussy |
I just wanted to touch base with some people on this. I used to be a total AFC still am in some ways. The thing is, I can be either completely emotionless or a complete pussy/ AFC. I have no middle ground where I can escalate the relationship while being a normal self respecting guy. I bring this up because I've been seeing this girl for about 4 months. Been debating on making it exclusive for a month or so, havn't had a serious relationship in about 3 years even then I didn't really want it to be serious. I just love all the new beginnings. I like the thrill of finding a girl you like and the optimism and hope that it fills you up with. Then a couple months down the road when you find out all of the things you don't like about the girl you find a new one and the hope begins all again! I know I can't do this forever though... How did I get so off topic? Anyway, anyone else have a problem becoming emotionally involved in a relationship without being a complete tool? |
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| Author: | Chillburg [ Tue Dec 08, 2009 12:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I have the same problem..It's perfectly natural for us to feel this way, you just have to keep on doing the new beginnings thing until you find someone who doesnt bother you after a longer period..Or just date multiple girls if you're not really serious anyway. |
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| Author: | Lodewijkp [ Tue Dec 08, 2009 3:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
got the same problem ..... im very arrogant emotionless or im very AFC.... my new GF says im very mean sometimes or im very cold... HOWEVER she is just doing the same ... it's projection. Thre is no ideal partner and there is no ideal person who can do everything , there will always be situations where someone expects you to get emotional while you can't and vice versa. you know .. everything looks good in the beginning you know why ? BECAUSE it looks good ... you don't know anything yet, she could be a complete bitch. but ou see her appearence and you give in to the love and care cocktail. after a while you find out stuff about particular girls.... i had girls who told me they have cheated with their ex and even me...i had a girl who did a threesome once - i had a girl who lied about her illness. BUT DOES IT really matter what they have done if they told you they fully regret their action ? it's your choice... either you take it or leave it .... there is no perfect person .... but what you can do is this... when someone points a finger at you ... when things get rough - will you stand up for yourself your family and your partner ? standing up makes you a man. whenever you feel like - '' oh i don't like this it's raining '' or '' i don't want to drive to my work '' '' i don't want to lift that weight i could do less weight'' those are all quiting conversations.. it's the start of giving up. i ran marathons and other running competitions...... i trained for a 10 KM sprint for months .. i could run 10 KM in 20- 30 minutes...... so this competitions was going to start ( 10 km ) ... it went all good i felt good i ran - but i felt something stinging in my leg. it was a warm summer day and some jackass sprayed ice cold water over me with a garden hose..... my leg muscle cramped. i gave up 3 th placve and i decided to stop at this ambulance ( medical point ) to get some fast SPAM on my leg... the guy told me to stop running because my leg was way too cramped up- he told me not to force my leg. i cried ... i cried for almost 5 minutes i trained a whole year for this event im a distance runner .. not a sprinter. Then against all odds even when i was being far in the back with a huge time loss i decided to run again. the medical guy told me to stop but i didn't ... this competition ment everything to me. i catched up ... i ran and struggled with my leg, i thought pain is only temporary il finish this the way i want to there is no pain. i almost cried underway of pain stings. i ended up on number 60 from 2800 people ... i catched up and did what i want to. maybe i was 62th but i did somethingmany athletes don't do .. run with a messed up leg - even tho the result was not being with the first 10 , i knew i never ran that fast with a cramped up leg i still ran my normal time - that moment of good self-prestige will never go away. people will look at you when you have to stop for a moment , people will tell you you can't do things - people will tell you you are small or that you are too wuss. even if you are thinking '' this sucks '' this is already the beginning of a quiting conversation... you are negociating with yourself to give up. you have to be aware and think '' what the fuck am i thinking.. i chose for this '' ok this girl ... you know stuff about her and you withdraw to a emotionless state because you are giving up sometimes. you are not investing emotionally - the relationship or girl gives you doubts. you chose for it ..... you hooked up with her , either you try to engage to a serious relationship or you stop and find another girl - but let me tell you this. THERE is no perfect person ... no perfect wife ..... of course if she has a long history of drug abuse and sexual abuse you would think twice before doing anything. You either stand up for her or you walk away.... being a tool is giving up on somebody. when it's too cold outside and you have to swim people will always bitch about how it sucks to be in cold water. im a tool to .... because im emotionless , it's because what i've endured ..... i've been cheaten on... a girl manipulated me with pregnancy .. on of my exes lied to the police about me stalking her. But do i submit to those social conditionings ? why do i act like that ... my girlfriend isn't one of those girls , not all the girls are the same- and even if they are people can change. because it's easier to sit and look for mistakes and bad actions instead of having guts and investing in a relationship. ''i don't trust girls anymore 2 of my ex GF cheated on me '' yeah well it would be hard to trust someone again BUT do you try and do you give a full 100% commitement or do you keep sticking on everything. you get emotionless because you hear or find out something you don't like , you want to withdraw to safety by not getting emotional around that person or situation. thus you aren't commiting ... you are quiting. grass always looks greener to the otherside..... '' il find a better girl '' guess what , you will think every one is better because you don't know them yet. girls can also blame you for being arrogant or emotionless ... however they could be searching for the perfect boyfriend , whatever they say to you doesn't neccesarily mean you are it. if you like someone .. even if the girl is messed up or even if she pulled off messed up shit - you can still have a normal or good relationship. it's always a risk you must be willing to take |
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