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Girlfriend crying over ex-boyfriend
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Author:  Consistence [ Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Girlfriend crying over ex-boyfriend

Basic information: I (19), my girlfriend (19) and her ex-boyfriend (20) see each other five times a week at school, and normally 1-2 times during the weekends. Been with this girl for half-a-year. We have a good relationsship I think. Lots of fun together, good sex (1-5 times a week, in other words, almost always when we're together alone), both common friends, not-common friends etc; good things.

Important information: My girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend were togheter for 2 years. He broke up with her, dumped her, like "I have no feelings for you anymore." They were fuckfriends 1 year after the break-up. This is 1 year ago. They still have, more or less daily, contact trough facebook. Sometimes trough sms. He has a girlfriend of half-a-year.

Issue: A few days ago I picked up my girlfriend from a birthday (she was lightly drunk) and I was also lightly drunk (been at another birthday). When we came home to her house and relaxed she started to cry like the rain fell down in Arizona. To put it briefly:

Me: Why are you crying?
Her: I read something from a magasin earlier today about break-ups. They mentioned the "I have no feelings for you" part which I experienced with Glen. I got sad thinking about it, sorry for being so emotional...
Me: What exactly happened when he broke up with ya?
Her: *crying* He said he had got enough of me. Like out of the blue. I had no clue and was schocked. Crushed. Suicidal. As you know, we hooked up like 1 year after the break-up and I don't know why I allowed him to. *crying*.
Me: Damn... he was a jerk, really.
Her: Yes... and when he got his new girlfriend I didn't care that much. She's not that pretty anyway. And he has become a much worse person lately. He has changed alot in a negative way. I don't like him anymore, even though he is still somehow the same Glen I loved. But it doesn't matter now that I have got you. You're much better than him.
Me: *nodding*
Her: Sorry for being such an emotional freak.

And then we went off to bed. What do you think of this?

- She has feelings for her ex-boyfriend and will come back to him as soon as he breaks up with his girlfriend?
- She has feelings for her ex-boyfriend, but is happier with me?
- She just reacted badly to old memories?
- Should I dump her because of this? If so, why?

Personally... I got abit sceared after this sequense. I think she loves him still=/ Fact is, I have plenty of other girls if this is a "break-up" so it's not a BIG problem, but I would LOVE to keep her, really...

Author:  ballswall [ Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:20 am ]
Post subject: 

i was with my ex gf for 2 years man. she did the same thing at 6 months. at 8 months she cheated on me with the ex. she begged for me back...yeah man idk, she oviously still has feelings for this dude. Just be careful man.

Author:  spinstill [ Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:55 am ]
Post subject: 

REBOUND!! the bad part about this is youre not going to start a relationship, the good part is you can hit and roll out

Author:  dark one [ Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:27 pm ]
Post subject: 

Bro you need to leave her or she will either cheat on you or leave you...let me ask you somththing do you enjoy being number 2? because that what you will always be with her.

ask you self this: If he wanted her back and she had to choose between you and her would she choose him over you? If you think she would choose him then gtfo!


Tell her you need a women who is confident in your relationship and you need to be the only man in her world...you need to be number on not number two in her mind. I would also let her know that she is clearly still not over this guys and although you know she cares about you you need somone who is only into you and only has eyes for you.

end it and move on...if you want give her time to think about what she wants and get back with her in a month or so...but honestly it sounds like your relationship is doomed.

Author:  magnum45 [ Tue Oct 20, 2009 8:05 am ]
Post subject: 

A lot of negative feedback. I don't interpret it the same as these other guys do. :( Although they may be right.

Here is what I say. This is theoretical knowledge and I have never experienced what you have.

She is upset because she feels awful. She loved a man with all of her heart, and he crushed her heart with his every word. Then he shit on her heart. This man is a very bad person. He is very troubled young man. Now I don't know your relationship with this girl, but you need to be careful how you proceed from here.

She obviously needs love. She needs assurance from you that you love her or at least care about her unconditionally. I don't see her leaving you for him. I see her being horrifed of you treating her the same way he did.

Dude, what is probably happening is what we called a self-fullfilling prophecy. She believes she is not worth anything because of her experience, so her mind is making her do things to prove to herself this is true. We in PUA call it self image. If you really care about this girl then you should boost her ego. If you break up with her after what the other guy did to her, she will be completely fucked for life. Don't do that to her man. Please don't do that I beg you. I actually have a tear in my eye because of how much she is hurting. She needs your love.

Sincerely,
Magnum45

Author:  AfcGalway [ Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:56 am ]
Post subject: 

I know a shitload of girls who have cheated on current boyfriends with their ex. It's not even a case of not loving their current boyfriends if I'm honest, in my experience the new guy is usually of higher value. Why do chicks do it? Fucked if I know...

I think you just need to either accept the situation (that she, like *practically every girl out there over the age of 18* still has feelings for her ex) and move on, or dump her and find someone else.

Author:  dukelasale [ Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:32 pm ]
Post subject:  yo bro.~~!!

no more frustration to strict u at all, self-improvement and confidence rockz your life after confirmation of the cheating from her. let yourself to enter the world of PUA~~!!

i have same sort of experience b4, but it has +ve results (but a demerit for myself is.............i blame the bastard ex-bf during hers phone converstion with him)

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