PUA Forum :: she talks about forever?!?!

ok I've been with this girl, I've never met anyone like her, we joke about how shes the girl version of me and I'm the guy version of her, more or less everythings perfect. Anyways lately weve been having more serious talks, about the future which is fine but I find myself actually falling into the thinking of being with her forever, and then I snap out of it and realize everything i've learned about not putting a girl on a pedistal and all that.

I used to have the attitude I could just leave anytime, I still act like I do and she still thinks I'm confident like that, how do snap myself out of this "forever, shes the one" thinking without fucking up my relationship

Ps. no this isn't oneitis because I'm actually in a relationship with her, so I don't want the "no oneitis talks in this section" response

thanks guys thats kind of what I wanted to hear
I'm 23 and we do love each other. I guess I've just always been able have that mindset that I could get another girl at anytime in the past and its a good mindset in terms of not worrying about anything

The problem with finding "the one" or the women you think you want to marry is that often we are more lenient about the shit they try to pull because we want to work through the problems...there are women who I have dated in the past who I would not let get away with some of the things my gf has been able to get away with.

You need to find balance and let her know that she cant walk all over you.

Quote:

kind of what I was getting at too, I'm ok with being with her, but we both know girls get away with what you let them. They push boundries when they think that you cant talk away. I don't want her to think I'm constantly going to leave because theres no stability in that. I just want her to not do what everyother girl in the history of women does.

Author:	spinstill [ Thu Oct 08, 2009 9:52 am ]
Post subject:	she talks about forever?!?!
ok I've been with this girl, I've never met anyone like her, we joke about how shes the girl version of me and I'm the guy version of her, more or less everythings perfect. Anyways lately weve been having more serious talks, about the future which is fine but I find myself actually falling into the thinking of being with her forever, and then I snap out of it and realize everything i've learned about not putting a girl on a pedistal and all that. I used to have the attitude I could just leave anytime, I still act like I do and she still thinks I'm confident like that, how do snap myself out of this "forever, shes the one" thinking without fucking up my relationship Ps. no this isn't oneitis because I'm actually in a relationship with her, so I don't want the "no oneitis talks in this section" response

Author:	magnum45 [ Sat Oct 10, 2009 10:06 am ]
Post subject:	Re: she talks about forever?!?!
Quote: ok I've been with this girl, I've never met anyone like her, we joke about how shes the girl version of me and I'm the guy version of her, more or less everythings perfect. Anyways lately weve been having more serious talks, about the future which is fine but I find myself actually falling into the thinking of being with her forever, and then I snap out of it and realize everything i've learned about not putting a girl on a pedistal and all that. I used to have the attitude I could just leave anytime, I still act like I do and she still thinks I'm confident like that, how do snap myself out of this "forever, shes the one" thinking without fucking up my relationship Ps. no this isn't oneitis because I'm actually in a relationship with her, so I don't want the "no oneitis talks in this section" response If you love this girl, then you should tell her. No tricks are going to decieve her. If she doesn't love you back it is not because you didn't play any game. It is because she doesn't want you. If you can't accept that, then you need to work on inner game a lot more.

Author:	dark one [ Sat Oct 10, 2009 8:23 pm ]
Post subject:
I agree...you cant go through life thinking "fuck her i can leave her at any time" honestly its a good theoryfor most women but when you find some one you really love and want to spend the rest of your life with then you shouldnt have that mind set or things will never work. How old are you?

Author:	spinstill [ Sat Oct 10, 2009 11:38 pm ]
Post subject:
thanks guys thats kind of what I wanted to hear I'm 23 and we do love each other. I guess I've just always been able have that mindset that I could get another girl at anytime in the past and its a good mindset in terms of not worrying about anything

Author:	dark one [ Sun Oct 11, 2009 3:11 am ]
Post subject:
The problem with finding "the one" or the women you think you want to marry is that often we are more lenient about the shit they try to pull because we want to work through the problems...there are women who I have dated in the past who I would not let get away with some of the things my gf has been able to get away with. You need to find balance and let her know that she cant walk all over you.

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Author:	magnum45 [ Sun Oct 11, 2009 4:25 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: thanks guys thats kind of what I wanted to hear I'm 23 and we do love each other. I guess I've just always been able have that mindset that I could get another girl at anytime in the past and its a good mindset in terms of not worrying about anything I know that in the business environment it is better to always feel confident that you can leave and go somewhere else. The most successful people in the business world are the people who speak there mind, and are not controlled by fear. If you find you are letting fear control your conversations, then you need to assess the situation. I don't think that losing a girl is going to kill you, but you need to realize that you invested a lot of time to get to "love" status, and so did she. Be content with each others flaws. Focus on your future, and respect each others desires. I hope you can benefit from my post.

Author:	spinstill [ Sun Oct 11, 2009 4:54 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: The problem with finding "the one" or the women you think you want to marry is that often we are more lenient about the shit they try to pull because we want to work through the problems...there are women who I have dated in the past who I would not let get away with some of the things my gf has been able to get away with. You need to find balance and let her know that she cant walk all over you. kind of what I was getting at too, I'm ok with being with her, but we both know girls get away with what you let them. They push boundries when they think that you cant talk away. I don't want her to think I'm constantly going to leave because theres no stability in that. I just want her to not do what everyother girl in the history of women does.

Author:	magnum45 [ Sun Oct 11, 2009 5:20 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: The problem with finding "the one" or the women you think you want to marry is that often we are more lenient about the shit they try to pull because we want to work through the problems...there are women who I have dated in the past who I would not let get away with some of the things my gf has been able to get away with. You need to find balance and let her know that she cant walk all over you. kind of what I was getting at too, I'm ok with being with her, but we both know girls get away with what you let them. They push boundries when they think that you cant talk away. I don't want her to think I'm constantly going to leave because theres no stability in that. I just want her to not do what everyother girl in the history of women does. If a woman is pulling shit on you she is doing it for a reason. She is not programmed to hurt people. She is programmed to feel love. All humans want to feel love, and this is not debatable. Many people get love from all kinds of different sources. One may argue with me that people kill other people and those crazies don't need love. I say to them: the act of murder comes from a motivation of power, and this causes love. You need to find out what hole she is trying to fill in her life by walking all over your desires. If you have a healthy relationship then she won't want to go out and get fucked by other guys. Your job is to fill her heart with love and unconditional acceptance. If you can fill her heart, then you won’t have to control her, and you can trust her. Even the need to go out and have fun can be squelched using extreme versions of acceptance and appreciation. If she feels like she is helping you, and you are appreciating her, she will not even want to go out with the girls to have a good time. She will find more value in her relationship with you. All you have to do is appreciate her and show it. Every time she does something, you like, then buy her a flower. Every time she makes you dinners tell her how much you care for her. Every time! This may seem childish to you, but women don't walk over me, and I don't walk over them.

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