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Gf afraid to have sex because she thinks it might ruin it
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Author:  hammer2456 [ Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:06 am ]
Post subject:  Gf afraid to have sex because she thinks it might ruin it
girl just turned 18 im 19 and we were hooking up and have been friends for about 2 years now. She mentioned that she wants a relationship with me so we are offically now dating. We have not had sex not because shes a virgin but because shes afraid it might ruin what we have. when i sat down and talked to her about it she says she also wants to have sex but is afraid because she really likes me and like in her past relationship things went downhill after the guy got in her pants. Whats some good things i can say to reassure her that it will be good for both of us. i told her that this will only make our relationship stronger but still looking for some advice. THANKS
Author:  jsquared [ Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:25 am ]
Post subject: 
You can be brutally honest.

"If I only wanted to sleep with you and hadn't got it yet, I would have moved on to someone who would give it up. However, that isn't the case I am still here and I want you to trust me enough to believe it won't change things."
Author:  hammer2456 [ Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You can be brutally honest.

"If I only wanted to sleep with you and hadn't got it yet, I would have moved on to someone who would give it up. However, that isn't the case I am still here and I want you to trust me enough to believe it won't change things."
thanks man
Author:  zhukaching [ Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:39 am ]
Post subject: 
no man, logic doesn't work. girl never use their left brain.

but i dont have anything constructive to give you though.
Author:  hammer2456 [ Fri Sep 25, 2009 5:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
no man, logic doesn't work. girl never use their left brain.

but i dont have anything constructive to give you though.
Then why would you even post this?
Author:  Emiliooooh! [ Fri Sep 25, 2009 5:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
no man, logic doesn't work. girl never use their left brain.

but i dont have anything constructive to give you though.
Then why would you even post this?
To say he doesn't agree with the logic part, obv. I personally think she needs to grow up. Like, wtf? doesn't she read cosmo? lmfao :P
Author:  BadolzoN [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 5:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gf afraid to have sex because she thinks it might ruin i
Quote:
girl just turned 18 im 19 and we were hooking up and have been friends for about 2 years now. She mentioned that she wants a relationship with me so we are offically now dating. We have not had sex not because shes a virgin but because shes afraid it might ruin what we have. when i sat down and talked to her about it she says she also wants to have sex but is afraid because she really likes me and like in her past relationship things went downhill after the guy got in her pants. Whats some good things i can say to reassure her that it will be good for both of us. i told her that this will only make our relationship stronger but still looking for some advice. THANKS
Escalate the kino.

What girls say and do are COMPLETELY polar opposites of each other.

I've fucked 3 virgins and all of them I didn't verbally note sex.

I just did it.

Touch her arm, kiss her softly, then lick her neck and caress her body at the same time.

You want a girl to have sex with you or grind on your dick while making out? Lick her neck and watch her get horny.

I noticed when I was making out with my girl I never get hard-ons unless she licks my neck. :O
Author:  dark one [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 5:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok ok guys calm down I dont think this is a PUA problem I think this is a an insecurity of hers that stems from her past. This seems to be physiological not imature...you need to really listen to what she is telling you.

She basically told you in women talk "In the past I was used for sex and I am insecure about it. I dont want you to think Im a slut and I dont want to loose you so Im going to take control so I feel powerful and feel like I have somthing to hold onto."

Now Im no dr. phill but Im good at reading women and honestly you just need to understand were she is coming from, give it time, let her know you care about her and arnt leaving her, and let her know that you are fine with the fact she doesnt want to have sex....tell her you will take things slow.

Guys somtimes you come across women who are a bit fucked up...it doesnt mean they are bad people or imature it just means they have had issues in the past and if you can help them get past those issues then they will really appreciate it.
Author:  dark one [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 6:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
The worst thing you can do with a girl like this is make her feel bad about sex! she already relates sex to a negative thought...if all you want is sex then I would say move on but if you like this girl then help her through her problem and dont be a jack ass.
Author:  dark one [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 6:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
P.s use this time to get to know her, talk to her and make her feel safe...once she feels like she can trust you then you can start breaking down her wall and get to the deep seeded issues that are bothering her....right now she might like you but she still has a wall up and doesnt feel like she can trust you 100%.
Author:  BadolzoN [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 6:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
P.s use this time to get to know her, talk to her and make her feel safe...once she feels like she can trust you then you can start breaking down her wall and get to the deep seeded issues that are bothering her....right now she might like you but she still has a wall up and doesnt feel like she can trust you 100%.
LMR
Author:  hammer2456 [ Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Ok ok guys calm down I dont think this is a PUA problem I think this is a an insecurity of hers that stems from her past. This seems to be physiological not imature...you need to really listen to what she is telling you.

She basically told you in women talk "In the past I was used for sex and I am insecure about it. I dont want you to think Im a slut and I dont want to loose you so Im going to take control so I feel powerful and feel like I have somthing to hold onto."

Now Im no dr. phill but Im good at reading women and honestly you just need to understand were she is coming from, give it time, let her know you care about her and arnt leaving her, and let her know that you are fine with the fact she doesnt want to have sex....tell her you will take things slow.

Guys somtimes you come across women who are a bit fucked up...it doesnt mean they are bad people or imature it just means they have had issues in the past and if you can help them get past those issues then they will really appreciate it.
yea you basically hit it right one the head... since the last post we have talked and she says she is broken. She stated that her past relationships have made her not even want to have sex anymore. She says that she knows that she has a wall up so she can protect herself so basically i am going to have to accept that. There is seriously nothing more i can do to ensure my trust with her since she had know me for about 2 years. I really liked this girl but i guess im just gonna have to move and accept how she is feeling.
Author:  spinstill [ Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:54 am ]
Post subject: 
a girl saying sex will ruin things is like a girl saying to a friend that a relationship will ruin friendship. If someone wants to do something bad enough they will, they don't let fears stop them
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