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Need help QUIIIIIIICK with a girl I just met
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Author:  KiLZoNE [ Wed Sep 02, 2009 5:39 am ]
Post subject:  Need help QUIIIIIIICK with a girl I just met
Hey guys, looking for some advice on a situation im in. I met this girl at college a few days ago and we've hung out a couple times since with her friends. I considered her to only be a friend but tonight she texted me and told me she has a crush on me. I'm really attracted to her, but havent been in any relationships for a long time and I just wanted some advice for how to proceed after her telling me this and how to escalate things to hopefully begin a relationship with her. much thanks in advance. thanks guys
Author:  romanrider [ Wed Sep 02, 2009 2:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
alright man listen up, if she already told you she likes you basically, and you find her to be a nice girl too, then its already done man. be cool dont hesitate there is nothing to think about here, just be as natural as you would be with a family member with her but be physical and smiling always. everything is cool, she wants you man dont think to much method and shit. dont go out on dates or stupid amateur shit like that to have her, call her when your out with some fun supportive friends and have her hang out, make her feel comfortable. comfort and acceptance is womans biggest pleasure. she already finds you attractive, so make her laugh and become obsessed with you relaxing vibe you give her. another scenerio send her a message like "me and some friends are making crazy italian food at my place, when are you here?" she comes over and laughs your friends know ahead of time to leave after dinner and you both already had a couple of drinks, you touch her neck and back while shes talking to you, like nothing, natural and bring her over to your bed. if you want to do something that is more subtle like one on one instead of being out with friends, theres other options. do you know what her day is like? like when shes free? show her something new, what does she study? you see theres a million options. definitaly get her and get to really know her, you wont ever get to know a girl till shes in bed naked with you of all the complexities the worlds brings upon the human mind these days.

when you know her more you can decide if she is girlfriend material. if she wants to be your girlfriend from day one then thats out of the question man but just laugh at it you know. dont go gossip around about your life. have more flavor and style. let her gossip it around. dont feel like you will be tied to a relationship immediatly, man you have time, and this is the only way you will find the girl of you dreams.
Author:  KiLZoNE [ Wed Sep 02, 2009 3:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
I understand what you're saying. I am taking it a little to seriously, I'll try to calm down :P. Also found out this morning that she actually has a girlfriend back home :shock: so this should be interesting...
Author:  MrVandal [ Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think romanrider hit the nail right on the head. Sometimes its just as important to know when you're in a good position and you don't really need to do much not to fuck it up.
Author:  KiLZoNE [ Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:39 am ]
Post subject: 
I completely understand what you guys are saying. (Atleast I think I do) I just have trouble, even though everythings already set up, I just dont know what to do.

We hung out again today at a friends place and she was trying to get real close to me, laying her head on me holdin my side, and im just sitting there like an idiot not knowing what to do or what not to do. :roll:

You said it would be pretty hard to mess anything up, and I'm pretty sure I'm making that a lot easier. :(

Any suggestions for future interactions (of this type) with her?
Author:  Conker [ Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Have you ever had a girlfriend before? Sounds like not.

You have to spend time getting in touch with your passionate side. Maybe that means thinking about how you'd behave in that situation. Before I had a girlfriend, that's what I did, and somehow it just all came out in the moment. Little subtleties like putting your hand on the back of her head to pull her in for a kiss - if you just follow your urges and can ignore all the fear then these little actions will just happen naturally - you can't follow instructions too much - you really must just follow your urges.

You need to practice ignoring the fear. Use your head as a holo-deck like on Star Trek and re-create moments past, or create moments that haven't happened yet, and see yourself doing the ideal things. None of these situations will actually happen though, so don't use it to "rehearse" no no - instead use it to exercise making decisions about what to do in the moment.

And you can have a few tips to get you started (the rest should come naturally). If she puts her head on your shoulder, your arm goes around her shoulders. If she puts her head on your chest, your hand goes on her head and strokes her hair.

If you fumble when you do it, it's one or both of two things a) you haven't done that physical action very much before, and b) your nervous. You want to forgive yourself for reason a, and ignore reason b as much as possible and just relax and pay attention to what's going on - if you're wondering too much about "what to do next" then you're not paying attention to what's going on. That leads to fear, and fear leads to the dark side, hahaha...

Ultimately you must follow your urges (and you have to work out what they are, and ignore all the fear in the way, in order to find out) - and so you cant' be afraid of doing the wrong thing - the only way forward is to follow your urges knowing that if things dont' go great, you will learn from it and keep moving forward.

If you stay afraid and don't make moves, that makes you move backwards.
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