PUA Forum :: phases in a relationship

Hey man!

First of all I'd like to say that I really like this post.
Its thoughtful and correct in many ways.

However - I dont really think its neccesary for it to go down this way.

I've come up with the following.

In a relationship there's moste often someone who's in charge.
One of you lead, and the other one comes along for the ride.
This is also where the trouble starts.

To maintain balance 3 things are required.
1. You make sure you have your own life meeting friends, having individual goals etc.
2. The same for the girl. (If the girl starts following you, it might be necceserary for you to push her a bit so she keeps her friends and has her own social platform).
3. You have an active life together.

If any of theese 3 things are missing in a relationship it will end, or be something that in the long run causes more pain then happiness and joy.

I can agree with you on several points in your "timetable", but I dont think there's bound to be a break up or make up situation like you described it if the pieces above are merged.

Author:	dark one [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:25 am ]
Post subject:	phases in a relationship
Feel free to correct me If you feel I am wrong? but I have made this "chart" short how I beleve most relationships evolve and either grow or fade out. phase 1, introduction phase (first month): You start dating the women, start geting to know her and you are head over heals for her (She is all you think about) The women seems slightly less interested in you but still shows enouph interest to keep you on your toes...You work your ass off to make things work through gaming her ect ect...and she sits back and plays her games and tests the shit out of you! phase 2, dumb love pase (month 2-3) She starts to loosen up and you both seem to be getting along perfect! nothing seems like it could go wrong and you are now a couple. Every thing seems so new to both of you and there is a load a passion! You are completely infatuated with your new gf! Phase 3, WTF happend phase? (honey moon is over) (4-6 months): Every thing seems to be going perfect when boom! her additude changes! she seems less interested, not as greatful for the things you do, and you have no idea why? She begins pointing the finger at you and testing you like crazy! You feel like you are going to loose her or she might cheat or mabey is already cheating? Boom you get in a big fight about somthing and you either break up or you make up. Phase 4, The strong bond phase (6 months to a year): At this point your gf and you know each other very well! She start to open up to you alot more now, you start spending alot more time togeather and you are now like best friends...It is more about friendship then sex and attraction alone now. Phase 5, make or break phase (1-3 years): One of two things happen...One of you (often the women) becomes bored and you break up or somone cheats....or you start making long term plans (moving in with each other, marrage, ect ect).

Author:	delsol00000 [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 1:05 pm ]
Post subject:
Yeah i agree entirley mate. I got to stage three/four. She ended it. Reason - I became to nice, to easy to see, to lovey dovey. Bugger.

Author:	Energy_ [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 9:02 pm ]
Post subject:
Hey man! First of all I'd like to say that I really like this post. Its thoughtful and correct in many ways. However - I dont really think its neccesary for it to go down this way. I've come up with the following. In a relationship there's moste often someone who's in charge. One of you lead, and the other one comes along for the ride. This is also where the trouble starts. To maintain balance 3 things are required. 1. You make sure you have your own life meeting friends, having individual goals etc. 2. The same for the girl. (If the girl starts following you, it might be necceserary for you to push her a bit so she keeps her friends and has her own social platform). 3. You have an active life together. If any of theese 3 things are missing in a relationship it will end, or be something that in the long run causes more pain then happiness and joy. I can agree with you on several points in your "timetable", but I dont think there's bound to be a break up or make up situation like you described it if the pieces above are merged.

Author:	dark one [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:49 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Hey man! First of all I'd like to say that I really like this post. Its thoughtful and correct in many ways. However - I dont really think its neccesary for it to go down this way. I've come up with the following. In a relationship there's moste often someone who's in charge. One of you lead, and the other one comes along for the ride. This is also where the trouble starts. To maintain balance 3 things are required. 1. You make sure you have your own life meeting friends, having individual goals etc. 2. The same for the girl. (If the girl starts following you, it might be necceserary for you to push her a bit so she keeps her friends and has her own social platform). 3. You have an active life together. If any of theese 3 things are missing in a relationship it will end, or be something that in the long run causes more pain then happiness and joy. I can agree with you on several points in your "timetable", but I dont think there's bound to be a break up or make up situation like you described it if the pieces above are merged. Yeah I agree but for the most part you can see that most men have the same problem when it comes to relationships....I find that no matter how good of a pua you are you will still run into most of the same problems. Now that I think I know what the stages are I would like to come up with a an easy to follow guide / solution to all of the above problems...this way all of us men can have healthy, happy, stressfree relationships.

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