PUA Forum :: long distance relationship

So I'm a 23 year old who just finished college and moved away for a job. I met a girl about 2 months ago and we hit it off immediately. She came up on a camping trip with some mutual friends and I met her then. We spent like 4 days together and then she had to go back home, which is about 600 miles away. We talked everyday for about a month, then she drove up here to stay with me for a week! It was amazing, she slept in my bed every night and things really took off. We didn't have sex (shes a 21 year old virgin) but "fooled around". When she left after this trip we had built more of an attachment to each other and it made the distance a lot harder to deal with. I found myself wondering what she was doing and who she was with. I had planned to head down to see her and the week before my trip I didn't hear from her for like 4 days. I called her and she was drunk with dudes in the background. I just totally bit the jealousy bullet. I went to go see her and it was weird for the first few days, then we met her friends and fam, partied a little bit and things returned to normal. By the end of my trip we were enjoying each others company and almost had sex. This was about a week ago. I'm writing this because I'm finding that the distance is making me miss the heck out of her, so I find myself being a bit more clingly and needy than I normally would if we lived near each other. I'm hoping to gain control of the relationship and "be the man" but right now I'm stuck on the straight line, weak needy guy path. Help me! I see her in 3 weeks, were going camping, just fyi. thanks

Author:	Danno [ Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:53 pm ]
Post subject:	long distance relationship
So I'm a 23 year old who just finished college and moved away for a job. I met a girl about 2 months ago and we hit it off immediately. She came up on a camping trip with some mutual friends and I met her then. We spent like 4 days together and then she had to go back home, which is about 600 miles away. We talked everyday for about a month, then she drove up here to stay with me for a week! It was amazing, she slept in my bed every night and things really took off. We didn't have sex (shes a 21 year old virgin) but "fooled around". When she left after this trip we had built more of an attachment to each other and it made the distance a lot harder to deal with. I found myself wondering what she was doing and who she was with. I had planned to head down to see her and the week before my trip I didn't hear from her for like 4 days. I called her and she was drunk with dudes in the background. I just totally bit the jealousy bullet. I went to go see her and it was weird for the first few days, then we met her friends and fam, partied a little bit and things returned to normal. By the end of my trip we were enjoying each others company and almost had sex. This was about a week ago. I'm writing this because I'm finding that the distance is making me miss the heck out of her, so I find myself being a bit more clingly and needy than I normally would if we lived near each other. I'm hoping to gain control of the relationship and "be the man" but right now I'm stuck on the straight line, weak needy guy path. Help me! I see her in 3 weeks, were going camping, just fyi. thanks

Author:	kambro09 [ Sat Aug 15, 2009 11:01 am ]
Post subject:
i aso need some tricks like a phone sex games etc to keep her in touch somehow ;x

Author:	Mephistopheles [ Sat Aug 15, 2009 7:02 pm ]
Post subject:
My ex and I started out as a long distance relationship, around 600miles aswell. To be honest it was one of the happier times of our relationship because missing each other so much made each visit all the more exciting. However, i appreciate where you're coming from, i remember calling her up and hearing guys in the background as well. All i can say is, that it's the same thing as if you saw her getting hit on by a guy in a club or whatever, just act like you dont care. I just asked her who was that in the background and she would happily tell me and i would just say "tell them i said hi" and carried on the convo. Unfortunatley you're not going to know what shes been getting up to, all you can do is trust her - worrying about it isnt going to solve anything. Just go out with your mates show her how much of a good time your having and she'll miss you all the more, then 3 weeks will fly be.

Author:	Danno [ Sun Aug 16, 2009 5:41 pm ]
Post subject:
my problem is similar to a lot of guys' on these forums. I do a really good job of picking up girls and attracting them, and am extremely confident when meeting women. But when I get into a relationship all of my weaknesses and insecurities begin to show themselves. I need some help on my relationship game and inner game, so to speak. I am only 23, so I'm basically a work in progress. Any other suggestions are totally welcome guys. Thanks a ton Danno

Author:	Bonita [ Mon Aug 17, 2009 12:34 am ]
Post subject:
I'm going to be the debbie downer here....but i don't even advise long distance relationships. in the long run (or short run) it is incredibly stressful, lonely, and sad. You are young and can meet someone great who is close by. Don't spend your life on the phone or online with someone you can't be with. When it is all said and done, you will look back and see that you missed a lot of opportunities.

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Author:	Marc [ Mon Aug 17, 2009 1:22 am ]
Post subject:	Re: long distance relationship
Quote: So I'm a 23 year old who just finished college and moved away for a job. I met a girl about 2 months ago and we hit it off immediately. She came up on a camping trip with some mutual friends and I met her then. We spent like 4 days together and then she had to go back home, which is about 600 miles away. We talked everyday for about a month, then she drove up here to stay with me for a week! It was amazing, she slept in my bed every night and things really took off. We didn't have sex (shes a 21 year old virgin) but "fooled around". When she left after this trip we had built more of an attachment to each other and it made the distance a lot harder to deal with. I found myself wondering what she was doing and who she was with. I had planned to head down to see her and the week before my trip I didn't hear from her for like 4 days. I called her and she was drunk with dudes in the background. I just totally bit the jealousy bullet. I went to go see her and it was weird for the first few days, then we met her friends and fam, partied a little bit and things returned to normal. By the end of my trip we were enjoying each others company and almost had sex. This was about a week ago. I'm writing this because I'm finding that the distance is making me miss the heck out of her, so I find myself being a bit more clingly and needy than I normally would if we lived near each other. I'm hoping to gain control of the relationship and "be the man" but right now I'm stuck on the straight line, weak needy guy path. Help me! I see her in 3 weeks, were going camping, just fyi. thanks I DO NOT advise the whole long distance thing but have had friends who have had successful long distance relationships few leading into marriage. So here is what I have learned from their relationships: There is nothing wrong in calling up the girl and talking to her say 3-4 times a week initially. But remember she should too call you back and should look forward to speaking with you. Then gradually this could also lead to talking to her once everyday. That way you end up becoming a part of her life. But you would have to make the time to see her in person frequently, you should be willing to travel the 600 miles for her and vice-versa. But one thing in common with all these girls is that they weren't the typical bar/club girls going out on weekends and getting drunk. Why do I bring this up? Because if your girl is the type who goes out on weekends, gets drunk and is around guys all the time then her chances of hooking up with someone increases !! I would not tell you what to do but I agree with Bonita that you are young and hence you should be trying to get out there and meet as many women as possible rather than wasting time on a girl who is miles away. For your neediness, I'd say get out there and get to know a lot of other women. That way you would not be 'stuck' on one girl and if it doesnt work out you would not be 'heart broken'

Author:	Danno [ Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:19 am ]
Post subject:
i appreciate the advise guys, it seems like the concensus here is that i need to hang out with girls here where i'm living. there's a girl at the office that i promised to take out for ice cream. she clearly has a crush on me. I can take her out for some fun without trying to game her. the truth is that i really do like my girlfriend a lot. i'm seeing her in a few weeks (I'll be hitching a ride with a friend back home) and I'm sort of locked into the relationship at this point. I've had to tell the girls that I was talking to that I have a girlfriend now. Yea its limiting to be so honest but, I'm sort of the one girl at time kind of guy. Lately I've had a hold on my emotions and haven't really been worried about my girlfriend all that much. There was the incident a few weeks back with the drinking and the dudes but hey she's human. I think I set things straight by seeing my ex girlfriend during my last trip home. And my girlfriend new about it. I think it gave me a little bit more power, cause now she's thinking "oh shit, if i'm not careful, he'll will leave me for a different girl and it won't be hard for him to find another". Basically thats where I want to be. I'd prefer her to be the one feeling a little uneasy, rather than it being the other way around. Sorry if I'm a bit scatter brained, relationships are as you all know... complicated.

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