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How many guys has your gf been with? and does it bother you?
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Author:  dark one [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:41 pm ]
Post subject:  How many guys has your gf been with? and does it bother you?
Just wondering how many women you beleve you gf's have been with? my gf and I have a pact that we wont tell each other but she said it was single digits (who knows she could be lieing)...now I try not to think about it or care because every one has a past and it wouldnt be fare to judge but its always in the back of my head! and some of her friend have up wards of 30-60 sexual partners!!!! thats nuts! scares me a little!

what do you guys think? do you talk about it with your gfs? do you ever run into there ex's? any weird stories to tell lol
Author:  dark one [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sorry I meant how many men* haha I type to fast.
Author:  Ezo [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
It does not bother me. She is with me now and who could possibly compete with me. You guys excluded...
Author:  870 [ Thu Aug 13, 2009 12:01 am ]
Post subject: 
As far as I'm concerned, unless the girl is carrying a disease as part of her promiscuous past, there were no men before me, and certainly none who compared to me in any quantifiable way. Like whatever guys might be trying to pick her up when I'm not around, they don't matter because she comes home to me every night.

This is the healthiest way I can imagine viewing the situation. If this really bothers you, you still have a lot of ego-removal left to go on your journey to enlightenment. Chill out and read some Tolle :)

Your boy,
870
Author:  JSmooth [ Thu Aug 13, 2009 12:18 am ]
Post subject: 
I love this question.

Let's think about this for a moment. Like 870 said the main thing is do they have an STD of any kind? If the answer is No then you're most of the way there.

The second think is really if the answer is more than 1 you won't really know the difference. And if she doesn't have an STD what difference does it make, besides your own ego or insecurities.

Look this is a question I actually have to avoid in relationships and I think I got my method around it from Sinn. My number is above 60. I stopped counting. When a girl asks me she could easily freak out, and I don't want to lie about it either. I simply explain to them, "It's been more than 1, but I don't have any STDs. I have been tested since the last time I was with someone." Much past that it's not a big deal until you make it one in your own mind.

I know a lot of men that have problems with this are either sexually inexperienced, or insecure about their own sexual abilities. I don't expect you to admit to that stuff on a forum such as this. But seriously ask yourself why it bothers you?

If you care about her and trust her then take her at her word for how many she's been with. You'll never know the difference. Ignorance is bliss sometimes.

Best Wishes,

Jon
Author:  dark one [ Thu Aug 13, 2009 12:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Its more the thought of another man giving her pleaser that bothers me...I dont think about it alot but often when we run into an old ex or somone who she dated it makes me think hmmmm....did she sleep with him? but again I cant judge because I have slept with other women but still love my gf and would never want to be with another....iduno its an interesting topic because I feel like even the most confident men think about this from time to time. does it matter? no...but it is somthing that I dont think any of us should be ashamed to talk about.
Author:  Marc [ Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:30 am ]
Post subject: 
I think I understand where you are coming from. I dont think it is an insecurity issue or that you are scared of STDs but its more a question of you feeling 'damn she has really slept around and I'm not the only one who is enjoying her .....(for lack of a better term lets say) body'

But again its a matter of personal choice. I have friends from different cultures and I think the Asian, Indian and Islamic cultures are averse to the idea of a woman sleeping around. I have friends who would sleep around, date but never want to marry a girl who is not a virgin !!!

Nothing wrong in that but its a matter of your personal choice. Its not about confidence. If you cant accept it then you shouldnt be with her but if you can then dont let this come in the way of you having a healthy fun loving relationship with a girl.
Author:  Jake30001 [ Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think it does matter how many guys a girl has slept with. But there are so many other variable too, I think it can depend greatly on her age and maturity though. But nevertheless, there is no full-proof way to know if this makes her more liable to cheat. Alot "innocent" types cheat too. It depends on you too.

Id google/read Roissy DC's article "How to Identify a Slut" I think it is called. And his other one on "Quality Girl".

If your worried about cheating issues etc., that "Slut" article, I think, is a pretty brilliant blueprint for weeding out the worst offenders.
Author:  870 [ Fri Aug 14, 2009 3:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I think it does matter how many guys a girl has slept with. But there are so many other variable too, I think it can depend greatly on her age and maturity though. But nevertheless, there is no full-proof way to know if this makes her more liable to cheat. Alot "innocent" types cheat too. It depends on you too.

Id google/read Roissy DC's article "How to Identify a Slut" I think it is called. And his other one on "Quality Girl".

If your worried about cheating issues etc., that "Slut" article, I think, is a pretty brilliant blueprint for weeding out the worst offenders.
I'm sorry dude, but that "slut" article is one of the biggest pieces of trash I've ever read in my life. If you check in the lounge, there's a thread where someone posted it here and I excoriated its worst parts in detail.

I missed the part where this thread became about the likelihood of a girl to cheat, but I can tell you right now you're not going to find any magical clues in her dating history (unless she cheated on another guy to get with you, in which case you're an idiot for trying to date her). This is an insecurity issue, plain and simple.

Your boy,
870
Author:  dark one [ Fri Aug 14, 2009 5:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Somtime I do wish I knew who my gf has slept with or how many men....Im not worried about her cheating or leaving me to be honest but I think more about the men she might have been with in the past. I honestly have no idea how many men she has been with or what she has done but things have sliped out when she was drunk and it really made me think and upset me (of course I didnt let her know) but still it eats at me to think of my sweet gf geting crazy with another guy you know? lol To me sex is fun yes, but sex with my gf is somthing special and not just sex so her sharing that with somone eles does bother me....
Author:  arnolfo [ Fri Aug 14, 2009 6:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
i understand you dark one
i had some similar problems before
i know what you are thinking
there is something that can make us crazy like think about our gf doing a b......job to anoher guy having a threesome or things like that
something that is hard to accept and the gelousy start because only immagine her with another,also if was the pas, it's drive us crazy.
in my experiences there were girls that were coming from other countrys that cheated them boyfriend with me.i asked them how many they've sleep with and they always told me about 10 and they were around 22-23 years old.girls can lie but in this case they knew they weren't going to see me again so can be true.
anyway as was hard to accept for me before i also think that if a girl had many experiences there are less possibility she will cheat you now
in my experience girls that didn't have many experiences always cheat after a while.
i wouldn't have a virgin wife for this reason
Author:  'Vlad' [ Sat Aug 15, 2009 5:26 am ]
Post subject: 
This may sound really hypocritical, given what we do :D

IMO, a girlfriend is above and beyond all the others that we experience. It is someone that we are willing to make some sort of commitment too, knowing as we do the 'secrets' to getting with the fairer sex.

For me, if a girl has had many partners then she is just like the other girls that we take home every other weekend. oddly enough, perhaps the one exception to this would be the marriage material girls - their personality means that their past is negated.

the long and short of it is though, if the number wasnt going to effect you then you wouldnt be on here asking for our advice...

sorry to sound so blunt, but to me (please can no one take this the wrong way) the other posters that have commented on this have answered with their opinions, as if this was a theoretical question. it is not. you are already in this relationship, and asking for advice from us, and there is a reason for that...

also, think about the social proof that you have worked hard to build up locally. stepping out with your g/f may well be fine, but when her 60 blokes + friends join you both, its detrimental. its the social equivalent of going for a night out with the local heroin addicts. At least it is for the quality of girls we should be looking to attract

all the best

Top Hat
Author:  Mephistopheles [ Sat Aug 15, 2009 7:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
I never understand why people have this conversation, no good can come from it.

However, if i did find out how many guys a gf of mine had been with, then i guess my attitude would be, well shes just been practicing for me.
Author:  smartass [ Wed Aug 26, 2009 8:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
I really, really don't like to think about it.

But sometimes when she's giving me head, I can't help but wonder how many penises have been in her mouth. :? Probably not a healthy thing to think about. heh.
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Wed Aug 26, 2009 8:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
a slut is a girl who lies to everyone and try to get to other guys while having a relationship with you. the defintion of a slut is personal ..... i don't like girl who had alot of men because it shows she can be a unstable factor in a long term relationships.

to be honest.... if i really want a long term relationship with someone , i prefer someone that is virgin or had 1,2,3 boyfriend(s)... but on the otherside a girl who had 20 B-friends ''could'' be totally loyal and comitted.

a slut is someone who pretends to want and have a relationship but is manipulative. naieve. and lies to her surroundings.

''But sometimes when she's giving me head, I can't help but wonder how many penises have been in her mouth. Probably not a healthy thing to think about. heh.''
i usually think this :P to

''(unless she cheated on another guy to get with you, in which case you're an idiot for trying to date her). '' i agree

Insecure girls often get manipulated and often lie and cheat on B-friends


''I think it does matter how many guys a girl has slept with.'''
it show she is easy going but also very in touch with sexuality ....
and if she had alot of B-friends or cheated a few years ago this doesn't imply she will do the same now, people change.....

''She *really* seems to know what she’s doing in bed.
Hey man, nothing like getting a BJ from a chick who knows how to hit the underside with her tongue, but it does make you wonder how much dick it required for her to reach that level of professionalism''

for all you know she only had 1 boyfriend that was experienced and she learned alot.... or she read some books or watched some TV shows about sex.
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