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My girl got really pissed early in our relationship once when I went to my friends (a chick I had fucked like three times 2 years previous). Anyways, she knows we have had sex. She said something stupid and fucked up like "Why dont you just fuck her, you obviously still want too!"
Basically what I said was "You need to grow up babe, that shit was so in the past, and if our future together is going to be about re-hashing what I did a long time ago, we need to break up right now, cus that wouldn't be fair to either one of us."
Then I got up to leave and she asked where I was going. "home, talk to you later." She was like, nonono, Im sorry, stay, etc, etc.
Heres the trick, you actually have to BELIEVE what you are saying for YOUR OWN good. Think about it.. how miserable will you both be if you dont set some sort of standard about what is acceptable to fight about, and what is simply ridiculous?
She still gets jealous when I talk to this girl but she knows not to bring it up. I can tell too that she is beginning to understand she has nothing to worry about, because she doesnt, this girl is just a friend, and my girl is my girl, period. I am sensitive to her feelings, but she needs to understand I am not going to shut out people in my life cus she has jealousy issues.
Conversely, I always play it cool when she talks to other dudes or her ex. She knows I would leave her in a heartbeat if she fucks up... What we have together is awesome and she wouldnt put it in jeopardy. And if she did, I wouldnt think twice about leaving, that is true power. You have to establish rules early on based on what you find acceptable, and stick to them. Never be afraid to find someone better either. We all deserve the best.
This type of thinking/frame will weed out the bad apples, and keep the good ones around. It comes down to respect for eachother, meaning trust essentially.
Wish i read this post before me and my girl broke up. Basically what I said was "You need to grow up babe, that shit was so in the past, and if our future together is going to be about re-hashing what I did a long time ago, we need to break up right now, cus that wouldn't be fair to either one of us."
Then I got up to leave and she asked where I was going. "home, talk to you later." She was like, nonono, Im sorry, stay, etc, etc.
Heres the trick, you actually have to BELIEVE what you are saying for YOUR OWN good. Think about it.. how miserable will you both be if you dont set some sort of standard about what is acceptable to fight about, and what is simply ridiculous?
She still gets jealous when I talk to this girl but she knows not to bring it up. I can tell too that she is beginning to understand she has nothing to worry about, because she doesnt, this girl is just a friend, and my girl is my girl, period. I am sensitive to her feelings, but she needs to understand I am not going to shut out people in my life cus she has jealousy issues.
Conversely, I always play it cool when she talks to other dudes or her ex. She knows I would leave her in a heartbeat if she fucks up... What we have together is awesome and she wouldnt put it in jeopardy. And if she did, I wouldnt think twice about leaving, that is true power. You have to establish rules early on based on what you find acceptable, and stick to them. Never be afraid to find someone better either. We all deserve the best.
This type of thinking/frame will weed out the bad apples, and keep the good ones around. It comes down to respect for eachother, meaning trust essentially.
