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| Please help me, i'm losing her... https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=49081 |
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| Author: | frosticewind [ Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Please help me, i'm losing her... |
So there's this girl that i've been crazy about for over a year now. we've been together for about three months but before that we were friends. Anyway, Things have been a real crazy ride between us coz of her mood swings and her hang-ups. One minute she's affectionate, and the next, she wants nothing to do with me. I take it all in stride though. I guess i'm mature enough to deal with her ups and downs. But yesterday, She was real mad at me for "Showing people her text messages". It was a really long fight... i got pissed, she got pissed and now we're not talking. (This all happened through sms since i'm working and she's a college student. We met in college, btw) I really care about this girl and i really want things to be okay again. I know i sound like i've got one-nitis (and i probably do), but this hurts alot. I said some pretty hurtful things to her last night too. Can you help me out here? |
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| Author: | Exerio [ Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
This is not a pick-up, but a relationship. And the only advice is to fix it. You are the guy, and thus you should try to advocate for a change. Make an agreement with her and let both sides of the case be heard. - Exerio |
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| Author: | SiNfUl [ Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:59 pm ] |
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Things have been a real crazy ride between us coz of her mood swings and her hang-ups. One minute she's affectionate, and the next, she wants nothing to do with me. It's only been 3 months and she is already behaving this way? My opinion, straighten her ass out or jump ship. I take it all in stride though. I guess i'm mature enough to deal with her ups and downs. Nonsense, you are p*ssy whipped, that's all it is. You should not be dealing with this, period. I said some pretty hurtful things to her last night too. Yeah? Good, at least she knows you have a backbone and won't hold back. I agree with Exerio, fix the problem and move on. If she continues with her bratty tantrums, leave. |
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| Author: | Frobog [ Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:13 pm ] |
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I just got out of this exact situation myself. Hell of a headtrip isn't it? Ask yourself this question: would you be responding the same way to any other girl or are you hanging on because she's your friend? I would definitely advise you not to let friendship love be confused for romantic love. If it's too much for you (and it was for me), walk away. If she's acting like this, you've already lost her. Accept it, stay friends, and move on. |
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| Author: | dark one [ Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:40 pm ] |
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You have to options here. 1# dump dump her and walk away. (She will prob come crying back and in that case you ignore her and move on). or 2# Think about what bothers you in the realtionship, wright it down, In a mature way express that you will not put up with the way she has been acting and If she cares about you she will start treating you with more respect....at this point she will either agree or disagree (9 chance out of 10 she will get mad and disagree). Then you tell her you need to take a break so you can think about the relationship and If you really want to be with her....then cut her off for a week minumum and a month at the most....go have fun and dont mope! go try new things and let her see that you have a life out side of her and you....now when you do talk to her again say hello and ask her how she has been, then bring up good memories in the past and show her how awsome of a bf you wer with out coming right out and saying it. Now at this point she will prob tell you she wants you back and you need to make it clear to her that If you take her back ther is no more naging, you need to talk about your problems, and she need to respect you....If she doesnt you wont put up with it. the end. |
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| Author: | dark one [ Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:51 pm ] |
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Often the honey moon last 3-6 months and after that couple usually get into a fight that will either break them up or bring them closer. It often happens because in the beginning you are both feeling each other out, every thing is new, its lust...then once the novelty wears off you start to see the flaws and the things that bother you. Being in a relationship takes work and alot of communication! If both people cant talk about their problems and deal with thing then it will never work! it has to be 50/50. |
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| Author: | frosticewind [ Tue Jul 21, 2009 11:27 pm ] |
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Thank you all for your guidance... It really helped. Last night she finally told me that somebody told her that i showed a naughty text message from her to a bunch of guys. This is why she was so mad. I really don't remember doing this though. And the only explanation i can come up with is that someone messed with my phone and spread the message. Now she feels so ashamed when she's in school, like her dignity is gone and everyone thinks she's a slut. I really feel bad because i love her. Come to think about it, i've never felt this way about a girl before. I'd usually just leave when she starts giving me lip. but i stayed with her through everything. I want to make things right though, but i have no idea where to start. |
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| Author: | dark one [ Wed Jul 22, 2009 2:32 am ] |
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Listen I dont meen to be hash bro but you need to smack your self and stop being such an AFC. Did you show your friend the text or not? If you didnt like you said then its her problem not yours....tell her your didnt do it and if she doesnt beleve you then you should tell her if she cant trust you its over. It sounds like an excuse to me...ther is prob somthing more to the problem but she used that as a way to start drama and end the relationship. To be honest it seems like you are being to AFC with this girl and she can see right through you! women are amazing at reading men and I can tell you right now she is testing you. |
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| Author: | dark one [ Wed Jul 22, 2009 2:35 am ] |
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At this point you have nothing to loose. You need to grow a some back bone, stand up to her and tell her how you feel. Whats the worst that could happen you break up? So what shes going to break up with you any way if you keep acting the way you are. |
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| Author: | frosticewind [ Wed Jul 22, 2009 4:10 am ] |
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I feel bad coz she told me to delete that message right after and i didnt. Although you've got a good point dark one... |
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| Author: | Marc [ Wed Jul 22, 2009 4:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Please help me, i'm losing her... |
Quote: .......... Anyway, Things have been a real crazy ride between us coz of her mood swings and her hang-ups. One minute she's affectionate, and the next, she wants nothing to do with me.
This is erratic behaviour. This girl has a greater problem than you think it is. Let me PM you and we can get into some details since you have asked for help. The problem here is not necessarily you and wait you are not loosing her.Quote: But yesterday, She was real mad at me for "Showing people her text messages".
She is right, she should have kicked your ass. I know I am being harsh but her messages and what she tells you is between the two of you what the hell are you doing going about showing her messages to others. Ofcourse she is going to get mad, I dont blame her.Quote: It was a really long fight... i got pissed, she got pissed and now we're not talking. (This all happened through sms since i'm working and she's a college student. We met in college, btw) You fight over sms, how mature is that . Quote: I really care about this girl and i really want things to be okay again. I know i sound like i've got one-nitis (and i probably do), but this hurts alot. I said some pretty hurtful things to her last night too.
Dont worry you are NOT loosing her or have not lost her completely. Quote: Can you help me out here?
My answer will be in your Inbox.
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| Author: | frosticewind [ Wed Jul 22, 2009 7:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thank you everyone. |
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| Author: | Jake30001 [ Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Please help me, i'm losing her... |
Quote: So there's this girl that i've been crazy about for over a year now. we've been together for about three months but before that we were friends. Anyway, Things have been a real crazy ride between us coz of her mood swings and her hang-ups. One minute she's affectionate, and the next, she wants nothing to do with me.
Get out now dude. If she wants nothing to do with you, one moment, she is confused and bound to leave or she is a head-case. Can you help me out here? Just move on and cut her off completely, after two weeks of ignoring her, if she comes back begging with tears, there might be some hope. |
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| Author: | Little Panda [ Fri Jul 24, 2009 1:59 pm ] |
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Sorry but I think almost everybody here is bullshitting. Here is my opinion: If you love her, you will do everything it takes to keep her and develop a healthy relationship. Period. |
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| Author: | dark one [ Fri Jul 24, 2009 4:57 pm ] |
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Quote: Sorry but I think almost everybody here is bullshitting.
Why? So she can enjoy the relationship and he can worry and hate life? It takes two to make it work not just one. you cant just give and give and not get...grow some back bone and learn how to stand up for your self.
Here is my opinion: If you love her, you will do everything it takes to keep her and develop a healthy relationship. Period. |
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