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She Has A Crush on Another GUY! :?
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Author:  simon1989x [ Sun Jun 21, 2009 8:53 pm ]
Post subject:  She Has A Crush on Another GUY! :?
Me and my girlfriend have been going out for just over 2 months now, we are pretty close and see each other quite alot. She's never had a boyfriend before, as she used to be pretty shy, so Im her first. I don't have a problem with this but I went out with her old workfriends and I could tell that she was attracted to this other guy who happens to be alot more popular/outgoing than me. I let it go the first time, and when we got into a deep conversation one night, about past relationships, etc.

She said she had a crush on someone, but wouldn't tell me because I knew him. I asked if it was the guy in question, and she said yes "how did you know". I went out again the other night with her workfriends and this guy was there again. I was sat opposite my gf and I could tell by her body-language that she still has some sort of feelings towards him. She couldn't take her eyes off him, and was trying to kino with him. (play punching etc)

At this point I was fucking fuming, she assures me she doesn't feel anything for him, but obviously I know that this guy is more of a natural with the ladies. She could tell I was pissed off and kept asking if I was alright, anyway I decided to cut the night short before I did something I would regret and got a taxi back with her. I couldn't sleep that night as this is eating away at me! I explained to her that I didn't want to be second best. Confused as ever :\
Author:  Angelz [ Sun Jun 21, 2009 9:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Errm I have a similar problem... I think its all about inner gamer - how confident are you? Are you insecure - afraid you mite lose her? Let all these fears go - its no her- its you. You need to know that if you lose this girl you can get another in an instant. Dont be scared of the competition. I don't know if you watch Britians Got Talent - but one of the best qoutes from there is " Chase the dream, not the competition!"
Author:  noticetoquit [ Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:39 am ]
Post subject: 
If a girl was flirting with a guy she already told me she has a crush on, INFRONT of me, I'd be very annoyed to say the least.

1. You might be reading into it far too much. Did she act completely different around him compared to other guys? I've been through it before and everytime my girl looked at someone she already got with, I'd instantly think the look carried some kind of 'deep meaning', but really it didn't. Every second she stared at him seemed much longer than it actually was. There's flirting and there's flirting... all depends where the line is drawn. I'm totally cool with my girl play punching and hugging a random guy friend, but if she has any feelings for him, or has got with him before, the rules have changed.

2. She might be doing it for attention. The fact that she knew you knew she liked him and yet she still acting like that around you would make me think she could be doing it to make you jealous, get a reaction, feel wanted and secure. She may not be intending or thinking about it like that, but she just enjoys making you conscious of it to get a reaction.

What do you think?
Author:  frosticewind [ Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:22 am ]
Post subject: 
My two cents:

The first and biggest mistake any guy could possibly make upon learning a girl has a crush on someone is getting pissed about it.

Why?

Well first, we have to remember that women don't see things the way we do. In fact, with women, a crush is little more than a coarse grain of sand on a piece of glass. Its there, but it isn't harmful, and soon the wind's going to blow it away.

But what happens when a guy gets pissed about it?

The same thing that happens when you rub something rough against glass. you make scratches.

There's nothing that makes a woman more attracted to a man than knowing she's attracted to someone who affects/intimidates/angers/whatever (insert word here) other men.

if you want to keep your girl, forget about this "crush" and treat it like what it is: "a very minor annoyance." Don't rub it in, or even mind it for that matter. forget about it. Just be you and make her see that she's not going to find a better man anywhere else.

Cheers, and good luck. :D
Author:  Angelz [ Mon Jun 22, 2009 6:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
What frosticewind had to say was on point. Think of it like this - why would the girl stick around with you if she saw that there was someone better? It doesnt make sense does it? Like frosticewind said treat it like a crush - am sure you have some as well and you act just as she would around your cresh. It doesnt mean you like your gf any less.
Author:  pcmechanic [ Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Reacting with anger jealousy gives him value. He should not even be a blip on your radar. She baited you with her attraction to him, and you fell for it.

Your strong negative reaction communicates to her that you view him as your equal or better (with regards to attracting and keeping her affections), and therefore a threat to you. When she first mentioned the crush you should have playfully and confidently offered to include him in a 3-some with you. Communicating (without saying) that as far as you are concerned he is nothing more than a dildo with a pulse she can play with.

Confidence/Indifference = Sexy and Attractive

Jealousy = Insecure and Unattractive

Which "vibe" do you want to send her?

The bottom line is that she can and will fuck whoever she wants. By being your best and most confident self, you create an SPAM where you are the one she wants.
Author:  Clozer [ Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Personally, I would somewhat enjoy this situation. It would be like my way of shit-testing my girlfriend without even having to initiate the shit test. I would let nature run it's course. I would just stand back and see how far she takes it. Will she pass my shit test (that she started)? If she doesn't pass and she sleeps with the dude, I high-five him and thank him for taking a skank off my hands who could have potentially wasted years of my life. Then I sleep with a ton of chicks and maybe pick one that I like if I choose to settle down again. If she passes the test and sticks by me even as I stand back and do nothing to stop them from the current of nature, then I know I've got a good life partner with me.

If he's into my girl it even makes me feel good that I have something of value that other dudes want. But like I said, I'll just stand back and see what she does. Let her shit-test herself.
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