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concerned if I should continue my LDR
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Author:  Risen [ Thu Jun 18, 2009 3:44 pm ]
Post subject:  concerned if I should continue my LDR

I’ve been troubled lately with the future of my long-distance relationship (she’s gonna 5 hours away by car). I have always been a sensitive guy and maybe I am just overlooking things right now. However, she brought up a few times that “this may not last forever” and she told me the other day that she feels better knowing that this may not be forever. I know she is anxious and is trying to be realistic, but it just hurts me to hear her filled with doubt and we’ve only been a few weeks apart.

It’s not like I am asking her to marry me, and of course I know it might not last forever so I was upset she had to say this. She tells me she loves me, but now I just don’t feel the same. I’m not sure if it’s just me or if this is a real concern. Sometimes I feel I might not give her enough space, which makes her feel uncomfortable. Anyways, I’m sorry about this rant, but I just wanted to ask you guys for your help! Im new in the relationship department and this is my first real test with my first gf (im 22).

Author:  JohnyZulu [ Fri Jun 19, 2009 6:00 pm ]
Post subject: 

I've been there man, and I have to tell you it's not a good place to be. Unless you have the ability to see eachother on a regular basis (like you can afford to visit a few times a month, etc) then this is going to be really hard.
You're going to miss her.
You're going to become needy.
You're going to always think the worst everytime she goes out with her girlfriends to a bar.
She is going to do the same for you.
Your friends are going to be annoyed that you always text her/call her when they're trying to hang out.
Guys are going to try to pick her up because they know you're 5 hours away, and she is going to tell you about it, which will only make you more suspicious and jealous.

... and then, in a few months you're going to break up and it's going to be terrible. Then you're going to look back on it and ask yourself what the fuck you were thinking while you wasted those months hung up on a girl that you couldn't see and were constantly fighting with on the phone.

My advice: Be mature about it. Explain that you still care about her, and you want the best for her (if that's true), but realistically it's not going to work. Tell her maybe someday you'll get back together if the situation allows, and you don't want to end on bad terms, it just isn't practical to stay together right now. You don't have to stop talking, just let things happen as they will. You can still be friends.

And I'm going to be honest with you man, all those things are total bullshit but saying them will make you both feel better about it. Get out, move on. You're 22, have some fun, don't waste your youth on a girl you can't even be with.

I know that sounds harsh, but it's the truth. It's a shitty situation so I wish you the best. Good luck.

Author:  Conker [ Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:45 am ]
Post subject: 

Wow, great post, Johny!

Based on everything I've seen and experienced, I think long distance relationships are an oxymoron.

You'll never forget her, but as soon as you meet another girl(s), it won't matter anymore :)

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