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Can ex's truly be friends?
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Author:  smartass [ Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:18 am ]
Post subject:  Can ex's truly be friends?
Okay, this is really, really weird for me, but maybe this makes sense to someone...

The girl I'm with admitted that she is "friends" with all of her ex's. Talks to them routinely. Her last ex she not only talks to daily, but watches movies and whole seasons worth of TV shows with. She says that he broke up with her. He is still single as far as I'm aware.

My question to you all is, is it possible to be JUST friends with an ex?
Author:  Trevino [ Sun Jun 14, 2009 8:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Of course its possible to be friends with an ex. I am friends with several of them. Whether it works out or not depends a lot on how things were handled in the relationship, especially the ending of the relationship.

Granted its not always easy and sometimes takes awhile to get to the point where you can be friends again. And of course sometimes its just not possible to be friends.
Author:  smartass [ Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
(whispers) Pssst.... your inner game issues are showing.
Maybe! But I'm of the group that doesn't really think men and women (who are/were attracted to each other) can be platonic friends.
Author:  jsquared [ Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Hobbit is correct, you are showing an insecurity. The fact of the matter is your scared that she might "slip up" while with one of her ex's. In that event, you break up with her because she cheated and move on.

It is perfectly fine to be friends with ex's. Under the circumstances that the relationship was ended and both parties got closure its normal. As long as they are willing to talk to each other there is no issue. However, in the event of a nasty breakup: such as someone cheating it is highly unlikely that the two could be friends because there would be a undertone of bitterness.

You shouldn't have an issue with her friends; and it would be a horrible idea to tell her she can't see those friends who are ex's because it makes you look like a controlling tool. Its unhealthy for your relationship if you can't trust one another. If this is going to be a problem for you, then I suggest you don't continue the relationship because you and her are going to encounter problems down the road.
Author:  Conker [ Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can ex's truly be friends?
Two seperate issues here - one is being friends with ex, the other issue is how you feel about it.

Sure you can be friends with an ex, but THIS sounds a little too cushy for me :)
Quote:
Her last ex she not only talks to daily, but watches movies and whole seasons worth of TV shows with.
Personally I don't believe a male and female cuddle up on a couch in front of a DVD without a certain level of intimacy :)

Which brings me to the second issue - I believe it shouldn't really matter to you, if you're getting everything you want out of the relationship.

HOWEVER, if she's constantly cancelling on you to hang out with the same other guy all the time, then it's like "Hey, are we dating or what?", which is no different than a girl talking for several minutes straight to someone else on the cell phone while you're out on a date with her, waiting for her to finish the call, then it's like "Hey, are we on a date or what?"
Author:  sorin93 [ Sun Jun 21, 2009 4:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
YES and ummm no. Some of my exes are some of my best friends. And I wouldn't even think about starting a relationship with them. However, my exes are sexy as hell and i would still fuck them if they fell into my lap. But I'm in no way pursuing them or trying to get with them. Plus, it would be weird since they're my best friends. So yes, girls can be just friends with their exes and nothing is going on
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