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help! My gf is testing me and trying to whip me!
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Author:  dark one [ Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:14 pm ]
Post subject:  help! My gf is testing me and trying to whip me!
Alright so my girlfriend and I have been with each other for about 2 and a half months and in the start of the relationship she was sweet, she listened, drama free...and best of all I was wearing the pants in the relationship. Ok so the past couple weeks things have really taken a 360! she has changed! she has become moody, she often tries to boss me around and get angery with me....I dont give in but she doesnt either. This week she blamed her mood on her period and I told her thats no excuse to treat me poor...she told me I can talk when I have a vagina haha then today we start to argue because I told her I dont like the way she has been acting...she just told me Im closed minded haha I need help guys! I want my fun, playful gf back and not this controling bitch....I honestly beleve she is trying to break me down and whip me! lol
Author:  dark one [ Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have tired to sit and talk with her, listen to her, and be calm but she doesnt give a fuck and she act like im overreacting. This is why I was a player before haha honestly I have a relationship phobia so for me to have a gf is a big deal!
Author:  SiNfUl [ Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Tell her (and her vagina) to go fuck themselves...pun intended. If you enjoy being whipped, stay with her. If you are a strong independent Alpha that isn't going to put up with bullsh*t, guess what your next move should be.
Author:  Sexcellent [ Tue Jun 02, 2009 3:48 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Tell her (and her vagina) to go fuck themselves...pun intended. If you enjoy being whipped, stay with her. If you are a strong independent Alpha that isn't going to put up with bullsh*t, guess what your next move should be.
fuck yeah

stand your ground and be true to yourself. that means don't put up with shit that you don't deserve. try to correct the situation with reasonable talking, but if this behavior becomes a pattern that you don't think is going to change, then you gotta do whats best for you.
Author:  Conker [ Tue Jun 02, 2009 2:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Of course the other guys are right - first and foremost you have to stick to your guns - girls don't want to see anything else, they need a strong man.

But second to this... what is it that's making her insecure I wonder? Doesn't she trust you anymore? Or is it the other end of the scale - is she getting bored or seeing you as a bit of a wuss?

Girls are emotionally driven - if she's feeling insecure she's going to shit test you like this.

As a last resort - she could be completely nuts and unreasonable. But you don't seem to think so yet, I think.
Author:  DonPua [ Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:53 pm ]
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I don't think you should try to change her. That probably will not happen. I once had a girlfriend with a similar personality. I tried to change her and there was a moment I thought I succeeded; but at the end she went back to her old bitchy self again. So if you really have troubles to accept her real personality than my advise to you would be to find yourself another girlfriend and don't lose your time with this one. If I look back to my experience that is exactly what I should have done back than. But of course, it is easy to say these things afterwards. On the moment itself you logical thinking is blocked by your emotions.
Author:  SexDrive [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 8:45 pm ]
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I have found that the best thing to do in a reltionship is to maintain whatever initially attracted her and 9 times out of 10, that is not the nice guy that she can walk all over. If you dont want to be whipped you have to put her in her place. Now, if she has low self esteem, which it sounds like she does, you cannot approach her using things "You did this you did that" that will just piss her off and as soon as she finds a guy that is willing to listen her, she is gunna bail on you. You must show her with your actions, not your words. The best thing to do is not to get mad and angry, just act like you dont give a shit, just dont be mean.

I have found through experience that in a relationship, you have to be willing to play the games. As soon as she gets to comfortable, she will start to take advantage of you. This happened to me and I played into it, and we are no longer together and I dont speak with her (Which before shit went sour literally out of no where, this was the best relationship and connection I had ever had and never imagined it could go that way) Just continue living your life, DO NOT make any changes in your day as a result of her. It will be hard to do becuase she is going to act like she doesnt care either and that she is really strong, but I garuntee it will tear her up inside, but it is cruitial that you are not mean because that will cause her to rethink the relationship and she will just blame you.

If she doesnt have low self esteem, you can be a bit more assertive, however I never feel as though there is NO need for emotional abuse or abuse of any other kind. You want her to be how she used to be and that means you must act how you used to. But if you play your cards right, she will realize that she needs to make the necessary changes, in which case, keep doing what you do. She will learn her lesson.

On the otherside you could always walk away. The nice thing for your situation is that 2 months isnt that much time waisted with someone. It is sometimes better to walk away and find someone else.
Author:  Conker [ Sun Jun 14, 2009 8:18 am ]
Post subject: 
That was great, SexDrive, I relate to a lot of what you're saying about low self esteem girls, it's good to see someone else saying exactly the same things I've thought.
Author:  dark one [ Tue Jun 16, 2009 5:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Great post! My gf and I broke up but she wanted to getback togeather...the only things is that when we hung out she still was acting odd...she was bitching at me and treating me like shit. She was looking for excuses to get mad at me and fight about small things...I feel like mabrey when we wer going out she did somthing that she was not proud of (perhaps cheating) and now she is looking for flaws in me so that she can have an excuse to make me look bad? I have been a great bf! and Im not a push over so why she is acting this way does not make sens in the pua world???? I think im just going to tell her it cant work if she is like that.
Author:  Conker [ Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, it doesn't matter what the reason is - it's a shit test, or it's just shit, or whatever - we know how to respond to this.

I think you're in a great situation. Make the most of this, use her to learn how to keep your cool and maintain the upper hand no matter what. Call her out on what she's doing wrong and it's impacts, in a very factual, impartial manner. Don't insult, and don't tell her what to do. If she picks on you for something innocent, just say "I don't think I deserved that, I was only trying to [state your intentions]." and then she continues and you say something like "Why is this a problem? I thought we were out to have fun?"

But those were very generic, so actually I'd love to hear some specific examples - please share :) I would like to have a go at saying what I'd do in that situation, maybe it'll give you some ideas.


But until then, the main thing is you have to remain above it. Don't engage her on that level when she starts doing that shit. Don't defend yourself - say what she did was wrong, state a simple fact as to why, and then the discussion about it ends there. Say "I'm not debating it with you." or "I'm done talking about that." Or something. Because you're better than that. Sometimes you don't even have to react, you can pretend it never happened! She might be like "tuh, I can't believe you did/said that." and you just roll right into the next thing like you never heard her :)
Author:  dark one [ Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
My gf and I talked after we broke up and she told me I should drop every thing that happend ect ect...she acted like this was my fault so I told her good bye and Im dont she is being selfish.

She send me a msg say she is sorry and doesnt want to loose me. she also told me she want to work it out and she will do any thing I want in order to make it work...she told me she doesnt know how to have a normal relationship because she has never had somone treat her well but she wants to with me.

I told her that she was selfish about this whole thing and that she cant just say stuff like that and then let things go back to normal. I also told her I need some space and time to think about what I want.

Here is the thing. I still love her but Im not gunna let a women walk all over me or try to boss me around so If I get back with her she needs to earn it! cuz I treated her like gold! How should I go about this? or should I? should I just move on? we wer best friens and got along before this all happend so its not like the relationship was horrible...it was the last couple weeks when things turned nasty!
Author:  Conker [ Thu Jun 18, 2009 3:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Wish I could help you more on this but I'll tell you what I can.

I think you are in the right mindset, and I don't know what or when you should do something, but I do have a strong feeling that if and when you do, you should agree to some boundaries or rules, and then whenever she acts up, you will be able to pull the "we agreed not to do this" card, and she can't hold that against you.
Author:  dark one [ Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Wish I could help you more on this but I'll tell you what I can.

I think you are in the right mindset, and I don't know what or when you should do something, but I do have a strong feeling that if and when you do, you should agree to some boundaries or rules, and then whenever she acts up, you will be able to pull the "we agreed not to do this" card, and she can't hold that against you.
Yeah we talked last night...she was alot more accommodating and apologized for all the shit she put me through. She wanted to be with me and I told her I needed more time to think about it because I dont trust her. I held out on sex when she tried (hard!) because I knew it could have fucked shit up! yeah it would have been fun but it gives her somthing to hold over my head and I honestly want to be with her but I dont want to if she will go back to the way she was. Im gunna tell her strait up that is she starts acting like she did Im gunna walk...Im gunna let her know if she lies to me im gunna walk, and basicaly that she needs to earn my trust back or Il walk.
Author:  Conker [ Fri Jun 19, 2009 3:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sounds like you have it handled - I couldn't suggest a better course of action.
Author:  96Firebird [ Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm very curious as to why she started acting like this in the first place. Have you asked her this? And don't accept the whole that is how her previous relationships were, this happened out of nowhere (as you explained it) and if I were you I'd be very curious as to why.
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