PUA Forum :: Ex-Friend that kissed GF still talks to her-How do I handle?

I'll respond even though I feel like I'm talking to the wall with any advice we give you.

First off. It's really fucked up and unforgivable that you big brother would do shit like that to you. Do yourself a favor and drop this guy from your life completely.

Secondly, you and your girl aren't together. She can do and fuck who she wants. If she wants to see the guy go ahead and let her. Chances are he will profess his love to her like a chode and she'll be done with him.

Also, look at it this way she has an almost unwritten guarantee that yall will get back together officially in the next week or so. She knows your not going out with other women. She has all the power in the relationship and you have none.

You may think you have some power by "letting" her back in the realtionship but who are you kidding. You've already made it know you want her back and it will be a reality soon.

Plan your next moves carefully, keep your alpha frame, and I'd still suggest you take my advice from your other post.

Author:	vj7pua [ Sun May 10, 2009 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:	Ex-Friend that kissed GF still talks to her-How do I handle?
This is kind of an extension from my other thread about my situation with my LTR. Just a brief recap: My LTR and I had grown distant, my good friend and frat brother started to make a move on my LTR a couple months ago, kissed her once while we were still dating, and convinced her to break up with me. Since then, I've been playing it cool and reigniting the attraction. She realizes, again, that I am perfect for her and feels like shit for messing things up. We're now sort of in this intermediary phase where we are planning on getting back together "facebook officially" in the next few weeks, although we hang out constantly and basically act like we're together (I still introduce her as my g/f and vice-versa). So here's my dilemma. She still talks online to my old friend that screwed me over. He's being all dramatic, saying things like he's going to "disappear from her life forever" if we get back together. She still cares for him as a friend, and is honest about that. He is definitely a likeable guy, which is why I was good friends with him back in the day, so I understand that. At the same time, he royally fucked me over and totally betrayed our friendship, and I'm still piping mad about it. So here's the thing. I don't like that he's talking to her and implying negative shit about me. But at the same time I don't want to seem jealous by trying to make her not talk to him. My problem is that I feel very disrespected by the fact that he keeps talking to her online and leaving her voicemails after what happened. He has formally apologized to me via email for kissing her while we were together, but he tries to talk to her like all day every day, and he tells her things like "I don't respect him as your boyfriend." What do you think I should do to remedy this situation? She tells me that she still wants to be his friend, but that she is also willing to stop talking to him entirely for now if it makes me feel better, because she understands why I feel disrespected. I'm torn now, because on the one hand I don't want to be dictatorial tell her who she can or can't talk to, but at the same time my ego is telling me that I shouldn't have to put up with this level of disrespect from someone. How do I handle this in the most secure/effective way?

Author:	vj7pua [ Sun May 10, 2009 9:04 pm ]
Post subject:
I often find that just venting things on this forum make me realize the answers to my own problems - lol. I think I'm probably still scared that if she talks to him more he'll steal her away from me again. Lack of self-esteem on my part, filled by that rational ego telling me that I'm being disrespected. I think I'm going to back off it and just let things happen as they should. This article really helped me figure out what's going on too btw: http://www.rsdwiki.com/index.php?title=The_New_RSD

Author:	vj7pua [ Mon May 11, 2009 7:31 am ]
Post subject:
Update: He's trying to meet up with her for coffee in the next couple of days "one last time" before he "disappears." My girl is basically waiting for my permission to do this or not. Should I sign off on it or not? I'm leaning towards yes, but I'm still unsure. If u're reading this even just a yes or no opinion would help a lot.

Author:	fucker2121 [ Thu May 14, 2009 3:04 pm ]
Post subject:
hey man, i think u shld make rules with her and u shld have broken with her when she kissed ur frnd.now say her that here r my rules if u follow then live with me if not then u r free., be a man not a pussy. tell her straightforward. and about her meeting say her that if u meet him i have a lot of frnds to meet also then why to live together in relationship and say her bye. because if she doesnt repect ur rules then i think she can cheat on u . better be a man and tell her ur rules. 1.not to date any guy while in relationship and same applies on u 2 say her if she likes to talk online then u can also talk online and be a fucking alpha and if she talks more then talk to 100s of girls.

Author:	havocc [ Thu May 14, 2009 4:27 pm ]
Post subject:
I'll respond even though I feel like I'm talking to the wall with any advice we give you. First off. It's really fucked up and unforgivable that you big brother would do shit like that to you. Do yourself a favor and drop this guy from your life completely. Secondly, you and your girl aren't together. She can do and fuck who she wants. If she wants to see the guy go ahead and let her. Chances are he will profess his love to her like a chode and she'll be done with him. Also, look at it this way she has an almost unwritten guarantee that yall will get back together officially in the next week or so. She knows your not going out with other women. She has all the power in the relationship and you have none. You may think you have some power by "letting" her back in the realtionship but who are you kidding. You've already made it know you want her back and it will be a reality soon. Plan your next moves carefully, keep your alpha frame, and I'd still suggest you take my advice from your other post.

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Author:	Locke [ Thu May 14, 2009 5:07 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I'll respond even though I feel like I'm talking to the wall with any advice we give you. First off. It's really fucked up and unforgivable that you big brother would do shit like that to you. Do yourself a favor and drop this guy from your life completely. Secondly, you and your girl aren't together. She can do and fuck who she wants. If she wants to see the guy go ahead and let her. Chances are he will profess his love to her like a chode and she'll be done with him. Also, look at it this way she has an almost unwritten guarantee that yall will get back together officially in the next week or so. She knows your not going out with other women. She has all the power in the relationship and you have none. You may think you have some power by "letting" her back in the realtionship but who are you kidding. You've already made it know you want her back and it will be a reality soon. Plan your next moves carefully, keep your alpha frame, and I'd still suggest you take my advice from your other post. second. You're making it obvious you're completely available and waiting. Additionally, she needs no permission to do anything....give her some freedom and she will respect you for it.

Author:	vj7pua [ Thu May 14, 2009 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:
Hey guys. Thanks again for the input. I agree with alot of what you say about talking to other girls when she talks to other guys and whatnot. That's stuff i've already been laying down the law about. I'm not really concerned about "keeping the power" at this point though. We're both high value people. We can both go out and fuck basically whomever we want. There's not really a power imbalance that I can see. You're right about giving her space and letting her do what she wants though. That's what I did, i let her see him, and of course he choked on his AFC self and she seems him as he really is again. All's well, basically. She's backed off of being jealous of me talking to other girls, wants to share them with me in bed, and we're both really excited about getting back together. Most importantly, I forgive her for what happened, and she forgives me for being such a douche the past few months. I think this whole getting cheated on with one of my friends thing was my biggest insecurity ever. Now that it happened and I've recovered I feel like i've finally conquered it. I feel more alpha and secure now than ever before... like genuinely alpha. Before at times i felt like i was just playing a part, but this cheating insecurity ate away at me and eventually caused this to happen. In a way I'm almost glad it did, because other than this incident she has been nothing but the perfect girlfriend. She makes me breakfast, lunch, and dinner some days, is hot as FUCK (she gets solicited by modeling agencies all the time), is smart as balls (she's studying to be a lawyer like me), and way more fun than any other girl i've ever met. I'm happy again. For the first time in a long time. And so is she. Genuinely. It's times like these I'm very thankful that I found David D's ebook back in high school and set my life on this path. This community has changed me so much for the better.

Author:	SirKonstantine [ Thu May 14, 2009 7:50 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Update: He's trying to meet up with her for coffee in the next couple of days "one last time" before he "disappears." hahahahaaha sounds like he's trying to get laid.

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