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| Fidelity https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=43871 |
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| Author: | Zikki [ Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Fidelity |
Ok so heres my quarm.... Ive never ever ever been in a monogomous relationship. I have cheated, played and fucked around in both of my 3 year LTR's... Now im just starting to get in a relationship with a girl im really into. The problem is im also finding myself in situations where I can easily F-Close like 9's + 10's. My girl is a diamond and I dont want to hurt her, but then I know for a fact Im probably going to regret not sleeping with these girls as I have done in the past. I think monogomy is over rated and even though both parties swear to be faithful usually I dont know many if any couples who havent cheated or constantly cheat. I think the way my mind is conditioned is I value myself higher when im desired, my life is more focused when I have girls to chase etc. If my girl stands no chance of finding out, is there really anything wrong with cheating just to satisfy my own sexual ambitions? or should I make a concerted effort with the girl im with? I just dont think im ever going to be a faithful type bf, but im never going to get found out either.... catch 22, Im a greedy bastard n want the best of both worlds I suppose lol. I think im just gunna have to roll with it and do what I do. If an oppurtunity arises I will assess on a case by case basis lol |
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| Author: | fealinlucky [ Wed Apr 22, 2009 2:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
my thoughts, take em for what its worth... PUA is great... but regard it for what it is... Take manogomy and fidelity out of the question for a minute.. because really alot of people like to throw these words around and have alot of preconcieved notions about these two words... especially within the PUA community... how bout this one Honor... Respect... Trust... Value... All of these go hand in hand with this idea of being with just one person... its not something that is usually trumpeted within the community, because we are taught that if this one isnt good enouph, there are SO many others. but here is the deal, Life is just that... LIFE... idk about the rest of you guys... but eventually I want to share that life with someone who is important to me, that i can TRUST... and out of that trust i would respect her.. enouph not to cheat on her EVEN if she coulnt find out... because I would know... And her VALUE to me is high enouph that the sacrifice of not going after and closing other girls really isnt a sacrifice... because she is worth the commitment... and because deep down... I have honor and will act honorably. Ultimatly your going to do what you will, Me, I draw the line and take the stand that my honor and integrity is worth more than anything. and even if its just the inner knowlege that at my core, I have chosen this stance because its right. It's not easy and sometimes it may not be what I want to do in that moment, but looking forward to the day when my life is over, that is who I want to be. This is comming from a guy that has been on both sides of that fence btw... being a cheater and being cheated on. thats the decision I made... no one could make it for me.. and no one can make it for you. its really a personal journey, JMT, Lucky |
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| Author: | Zikki [ Wed Apr 22, 2009 2:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
fealinlucky - thats some sage advice right there my friend. I know what my heart tells me, then I know what my cock is thinking. The balance is my only problem. I am going to give a concerted effort in this relationship because I do adore the girl, but im not going to kick myself if I end up in bed with an underwear model or summin like that. Like you say, a personal journey, Ive only just started the mastery of the arts, so maybe I need more time before I should get serious. To be honest she knows im a pua, she knows I train AFC's and shes still kool with it, if I talked to her bout having a non exclusive relationship for a while she might even agree to it. I spose its whats in both of our interests |
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| Author: | JSmooth [ Wed Apr 22, 2009 4:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: fealinlucky - thats some sage advice right there my friend.
I hear you on this one. Like Fealinlucky I have been on both sides of this fence before. I know what you mean especially. My girlfriend and I have been together as well for about 7 months. She obviously knows I teach pickup and is cool with it. We have a monogamous relationship and it is rewarding. I know what my heart tells me, then I know what my cock is thinking. The balance is my only problem. I am going to give a concerted effort in this relationship because I do adore the girl, but im not going to kick myself if I end up in bed with an underwear model or summin like that. Like you say, a personal journey, Ive only just started the mastery of the arts, so maybe I need more time before I should get serious. To be honest she knows im a pua, she knows I train AFC's and shes still kool with it, if I talked to her bout having a non exclusive relationship for a while she might even agree to it. I spose its whats in both of our interests Being out all the time sarging with friends and students is tough for me as well. You have to flirt in order to help them get the girl, but at the same time you have to draw the line somewhere too. It does help that I went through over a year of pickup and doing whatever, whenever before it hit me to be in a relationship because that's why I got in the community for the first place. I am sure you feel the same way, and you will hit that point eventually. If you two can come to an understanding then great. If you can't and you know you are likely to cheat then spare this great girl the drama that we all know is going to be coming. Just be single for a while, you'll know when you want to settle down and actually have a relationship. |
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| Author: | Sexcellent [ Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
i think the golden rule with relationsihps is that she should be able to do anything that you can do. a relationship is like a contract. if you feel that you want to mess around without her finding out, then she should have the right to do the same. if only you can mess around, and she is not supposed to mess around, then you have a lop-sided relationship that is destined to fail. in that case, why even waste your time being in the relationship? |
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| Author: | Zikki [ Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I like all the advice and styles. I took a couple of lads sarging/training friday, it was really good to be able chat freely to women, hit on them, number close them etc, but nothing else. After my friday night I spent the rest of the weekend in bed with my girl, telling her all bout my friday night. I couldnt even contemplate cheating on my girl, I know I sounded bit undecided up top but the girl means everything to me. Ive been reading bout maintaining the perfect relationship etc and I want to make sure I give this girl the same 110% she giving me. I dont think I cud be more certain that this is my girl. Ive oneitis tested it, Ive been in 2 LTR's that never felt half as good as this and she accepts me and loves me for being me. How cud I pay that back with adultery./ |
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| Author: | fealinlucky [ Tue Apr 28, 2009 6:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
your a lucky man Zikki glad to hear it... Lucky |
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| Author: | Zikki [ Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Luck doesnt come into it my friend. This thing been built from the ground up with both our concerted efforts, 100% honesty and all of our focus. We both at the same fork in the road and we chosen that we wud rather start taking the journey together. I lost alot of myself in past relationships by being submissive to the girls needs, she understands im going to remain alpha, going to remain socially active, she actively encourages me about my PUA training. Her ethos is that she knows where my heart is and she knows who im coming home to at night. We trust eachother and she knows I wont abuse the faith she has put in me |
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