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When a girl says "you have to earn it"
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Author:  dark one [ Fri Mar 27, 2009 8:32 pm ]
Post subject:  When a girl says "you have to earn it"
How do you guys respond? I mentioned sex and she responded in a playful way by saying "You have not earned that yet" which I then said "Neither have you so Im glad we are both on the same page" and then acted as If I didnt care.....now I have been dating her for a couple weeks and have built plenty of comfort! perhaps she is testing me?
Author:  R.G. [ Fri Mar 27, 2009 9:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lol that's a long time to be dating without sex. "You have not earned that yet" in girl coding means "You have actually earned it - you just haven't aroused me properly."

Your response had the right idea but sounds too defensive. You're not congruent with what you said either. Look at it from her perspective. Why is she delaying sex? Did you actually for a second think she doesn't want to have sex with you? Of course she does! You just need to capture and lead her imagination, and get her wet first. Trying to lay a dry girl is like trying to pick a lock with a banana (haha).

You say you've had loads of comfort but too much comfort is not always good. After so long, you should be incorporating more seduction, remember the M3 model. Just get her in a seduction location after a good night, arouse her, then lead lead lead the interaction. Have fun buddy!
Author:  Call Me Dre [ Fri Mar 27, 2009 9:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Lol that's a long time to be dating without sex. "You have not earned that yet" in girl coding means "You have actually earned it - you just haven't aroused me properly."

Your response had the right idea but sounds too defensive. You're not congruent with what you said either. Look at it from her perspective. Why is she delaying sex? Did you actually for a second think she doesn't want to have sex with you? Of course she does! You just need to capture and lead her imagination, and get her wet first. Trying to lay a dry girl is like trying to pick a lock with a banana (haha).

You say you've had loads of comfort but too much comfort is not always good. After so long, you should be incorporating more seduction, remember the M3 model. Just get her in a seduction location after a good night, arouse her, then lead lead lead the interaction. Have fun buddy!
A+

Don't talk about sex, if she is unexperienced, it will be awkward, be more in the moment, when you are fooling around, your game should be tight, you make your move, there might be some LMR, but theres ways around that

I would of said " haha i have not earned it yet? who said i was trying to earn anything?"
Author:  dark one [ Fri Mar 27, 2009 10:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Very good points! Honestly If I had her over and had her turned on I highly dout she would turn me down....she has no problem sleeping over and kissing me ect....I am prob just over thinking it and she prob only said it so I didnt think she was sluty.
Author:  V1V [ Fri Mar 27, 2009 11:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
When a girl says something like this she is implying that she is the star prize, and that you have to work to earn what it is she has to offer. Her value is higher than yours if you accept this frame. Why let that happen?
Why not have her work to get you into bed instead? After all, your the star prize. Does SHE learn how to be successful in relationships on a daily basis? Taught by pickup artists? Your the star prize. She should be working for you. So reverse the values and roles. You dont want the projection of frame to be too heavy, or she i likely to reject it. So keep it light, one way to do this is by making it funny.

Example of a heavy role and value reversal projection:
Look, your nothing compared to me. I rule. You should be working and trying by buying me drinks and complimenting me in front of my and your friends for me to let you get me in bed, dont treat me like a fucking idiot or a lower value individual than yourself. I would rather let your sister over there have me anyway.

- you dont want to use this. However, if your frame is strong enough, and you make the frame of this projection light enough with humor - you can get away with it. (stick to the light frame is my advice lol:)

Buy you a drink???!!! Your not going to get down my pants acting like that darling. Buy me one first and then we will see.

Youll have to do better than that to take me home.

Your such a nice girl. Its nice to see a female who wants something more than sex. You do dont you??? YES!!! Just checking.
Author:  Call Me Dre [ Fri Mar 27, 2009 11:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
When a girl says something like this she is implying that she is the star prize, and that you have to work to earn what it is she has to offer. Her value is higher than yours if you accept this frame. Why let that happen?
Why not have her work to get you into bed instead? After all, your the star prize. Does SHE learn how to be successful in relationships on a daily basis? Taught by pickup artists? Your the star prize. She should be working for you. So reverse the values and roles. You dont want the projection of frame to be too heavy, or she i likely to reject it. So keep it light, one way to do this is by making it funny.

Example of a heavy role and value reversal projection:
Look, your nothing compared to me. I rule. You should be working and trying by buying me drinks and complimenting me in front of my and your friends for me to let you get me in bed, dont treat me like a fucking idiot or a lower value individual than yourself. I would rather let your sister over there have me anyway.

- you dont want to use this. However, if your frame is strong enough, and you make the frame of this projection light enough with humor - you can get away with it. (stick to the light frame is my advice lol:)

Buy you a drink???!!! Your not going to get down my pants acting like that darling. Buy me one first and then we will see.

Youll have to do better than that to take me home.

Your such a nice girl. Its nice to see a female who wants something more than sex. You do dont you??? YES!!! Just checking.
Epic, thats fantastic advice
Author:  smartass [ Sat Mar 28, 2009 12:04 am ]
Post subject: 
I probably would have laughed. That seems like an appropriate response to an absurd statement.
Author:  KristallNachte [ Sat Mar 28, 2009 12:29 am ]
Post subject: 
my rule is never suggest sex. when it happens it happens. sure you can build to it, but brining it up brings her logical mind into it and that's when ASD comes in
Author:  Reo [ Sat Mar 28, 2009 1:18 am ]
Post subject: 
LOL thats when you tell her

"Make a choice I can either take this shit or you can give it too me willingly"~The Juggernaut Bitch

On a serious note sounds like your getting played by this girl, as long as you continue to settle on her terms and continue with the boyfriend/girlfriend routine that you've been doing. She's totally content with not having sex with you
why you ask??? Because you'll still be there for her tomorrow(let that marinate in your brain a bit)
Author:  Call Me Dre [ Sat Mar 28, 2009 1:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
LOL thats when you tell her

"Make a choice I can either take this shit or you can give it too me willingly"~The Juggernaut Bitch

On a serious note sounds like your getting played by this girl, as long as you continue to settle on her terms and continue with the boyfriend/girlfriend routine that you've been doing. She's totally content with not having sex with you
why you ask??? Because you'll still be there for her tomorrow(let that marinate in your brain a bit)
hehehe

hmm never though about it like that, good shit
Author:  anutharound [ Sat Mar 28, 2009 3:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
How do you guys respond? I mentioned sex and she responded in a playful way by saying "You have not earned that yet" which I then said "Neither have you so Im glad we are both on the same page" and then acted as If I didnt care.....now I have been dating her for a couple weeks and have built plenty of comfort! perhaps she is testing me?
Sex is not a currency it's something two people that enjoy each other do. I agree with the other guys that have said that she must be more aroused, but it sounds like an insecurity issue on her part. She may be comfortable with you, but is she comfortable with sex? My guess is she is either inexperienced and just feels like she won't be good enough (teach her how to be better be playful about it tell her shes seducing you and it's hard for you to resist her womanly charm.) If she's not inexperienced then she probably had a guy hurt her in the past, as in one she got really attached to and then he left her for dry. If that is the case it will be difficult, but it is possible to get her to believe that you are not that guy.

Quote:
my rule is never suggest sex. when it happens it happens. sure you can build to it, but brining it up brings her logical mind into it and that's when ASD comes in
If you think she is just insecure about sex then I disagree with this advice. You must talk with a girl whos never done it in a way that will make her feel comfortable otherwise you will get lmr out the ass. If you really like her and don't want to feel bad or used then she needs to be comfortable with the idea of sex. For some reason some guys don't realize that may not be them in particular that a girl is not comfortable with having sex with, but having sex with anyone. You must first make sure she is comfortable with the idea of having sex with anyone before you even attempt to get her to have sex with you, and this might require some frank and direct talk.
Author:  KristallNachte [ Sat Mar 28, 2009 4:46 am ]
Post subject: 
wait wait...is he going after a virgin?
Author:  The Big Bad Wolf [ Sat Mar 28, 2009 11:21 am ]
Post subject: 
V1V has it down;
You're the one who should be saying this, not her. ;)

If you steal away the high-value frame where having sex with You is the best, and she's the person who has to work to get it, you'll disarm all this shit.



btw; A friend of mine once told a girl after they'd been turning each other on the whole night "Ok, you've now got two choices: Voluntarily or Involuntarily."

after she stopped laughing they had sex. :P
I think it worked for him because it was already so clear that they were going to do it, and the fact that he said it with humor.


;) btw. Good luck if she's a virgin. They're novel.
But not usually good lays :P
Author:  tyhj [ Sun Mar 29, 2009 5:19 pm ]
Post subject:  bro wtf?
don't let her play with you like that. you responded well but i would punish her (lol) by like not calling her or just leaving or just gaming another girl right in front of her. you can use women who you've gamed as your wings for like fifteen minutes before they realize what is going on, maybe next time just be like come with me and use her for social proof.
Author:  anutharound [ Mon Mar 30, 2009 1:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
don't let her play with you like that. you responded well but i would punish her (lol) by like not calling her or just leaving or just gaming another girl right in front of her. you can use women who you've gamed as your wings for like fifteen minutes before they realize what is going on, maybe next time just be like come with me and use her for social proof.
cool, so women are objects now and we should ignore problems instead of finding ways to make them better... We wonder why women think so many guys are assholes hmmmm.....

It's possible to be a man and have a backbone without being a douche.
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