It is really easy for men to "get in the mood." Give us physical or visual stimulation and BAM we're ready.

However, a woman is logic and emotion based. The woman's mind controls her sexual arousal and stimulation...believe it or not. Throughout the day, everything that happens is going to weigh on her mind. If she becomes really busy or sidetracked, it is easy for her to not be able to keep her mind focused on the active sexual advances at hand.

Stressor's could be anything. It could be with the relationship, it could be with her day, it could be about you. The woman's mind controls her libido and sex drive. If the mind is not in it, then she won't be in it.

Some things you could do:

Try initiating foreplay in the beginning of the day. If you put sex on her mind, then sex will be on her mind. Simple Wink Then all you have to do is keep it there.

Ask yourself what her favorite intimate things to do are? Maybe intimacy for her is more about kissing than about sex? Or maybe it is more about holding hands in public? Try different things to find out what boosts HER intimacy level. The higher the intimacy, the higher her buying temperature. I know women who get turned on by geeky jokes and talking. I've heard of others that their turn on's are thunderstorms. You see...their arousal is completely different. Maybe foreplay isn't what gets her going, but skinny dipping is?

Bring it up with her. Communicate. This IS one of those problems that is great to communicate about. The sexual health of a relationship has a lot of bearing on the relationship itself, and vice versa. When you bring it up don't be judgmental or point blame. As I stated above, emotions have a lot to do with a woman's libido. So....carefully find out if she still has emotional passion for you. If she does still find you physically and emotionally attractive, then you can move on and know that it is either a.) her mind and personal mental state or b.) you are not triggering her intimacy switches.


Now, if after all of that is tried and the problem is still reoccurring, then I would either point towards a psychological issue, a hormonal issue, or a relationship issue. You've already tried the address a relationship issue, so now there isn't much you can do but continue to try and communicate.

And as for what to do in future situations where your sexual advances are denied?

I know. It is tough. Just as women take things certain ways, in the bedroom...men can be very touchy! We can mis-interpret things easily.
I understand your frustration and it is normal to believe something is wrong. That isn't always the case though!

Don't make a big deal out of it when it happens. If she isn't in the mood, then she isn't in the mood. The more you push, the more frustrated and further from sexual arousal she will be. She will possibly even get annoyed at herself for not being in the mood. That has a potential snowball effect and damage sexual confidence--which then just ends up leading to even lower sex drive.

So don't push. Don't freeze out, and don't take it like it is LMR.

Change the topic and kiss her, compliment her, let her know she is important to you. because obviously, if you are seeking help for this, then she is! Just go about your business; whether it is to continue talking or to go to bed. If it begins to happen frequently, then revert back to my suggestions higher up - how to deal with it.