Ok, so I met this girl and things have been going ok for about 3 weeks now. They're not ideal but they're not too bad either.
As she's got to know me better she's started revealing more about herself. She's mentioned some men in her past and well, I thought it was the past but it appears that it's more recent past ... as in only about a couple of months ago. They weren't exactly long term relationships but they've obviously had an impact on her and it is a niggly issue in our relationship at the moment.
Last Sunday she told me she still "loves" another guy. I thought about this for a few moments and then told her that if she still loved another guy than being with me was not right. She was in essence cheating on him. She said it was not like that. She was not going to be with this guy and she wanted to be with me. I said ok to that and told her that if she was going to be with me she'd have to be honest and open and I was prepared to work things out. I told her that I was not going to be the rebound guy. She seemed happy with that.
Then last night she texted me and said she wanted to watch a movie at my place. I said sure and picked her up. We finished watching the movie and then started making out. I picked her up and carried her to my bed. To cut a long story short we "made love" all night without the actual act of penetration. She'd always stop if I tried but pretty much everything else was go.
This morning I dropped her home and things seemed ok. We exchanged texts throughout the day and it appeared all good. Then tonight I sent her a text reminding her that tomorrow we'd watch another movie at my place. She said she was scared of watching a movie at my place. I did a bit of CF on her saying that I wasn't that scary and that "my arms were the safest place for her in the world". She asked me not to rush things and that even though she was young she'd had a lot of experiences. She said I did not understand her feelings. I told her that I did not care much for her past and I was more interested in us being together now. That is what I wanted to work on. She replied with it not being easy for her to forget and for me not to push her. She said she'd "disappear again". When we first met things got heated pretty quickly and she disappeared for about a week to only come back the next week. Anyways she finished by saying that she would not sleep in my bed again.
So there, this girl has some baggage, some issues that she needs to sort out. Now I'm not a completely heartless git. I do care about this girl and I am happy to bide my time with her and help her out as much as I possibly can. HOWEVER, I DO NOT want to become someone who's just there when she needs me. I want this to be a mutual relationship.
How do I play this out so that I am sensitive to her needs but at the same time I have mine met?
