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Friend Zone ------->>> Relationship
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Author:  Isra [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 5:47 am ]
Post subject:  Friend Zone ------->>> Relationship
Im sure that many guys have tried this, and that it usually does not work, but I was wondering if you guys can give me advice regardless.

Here is my situation:
The girl has been one of my very close best friends since middle school. We've always been a bit more then just normal friends you can say, but never anything more then little kisses here and there. Mostly just a lot of kino. Anyway, she broke up with her very very very long term bf a few weeks ago, and I'v been seeing her literally everyday for the past 3 weeks. We get along great, still do a lot of kino, kisses on the cheeks etc etc, but she literally has a mental block on me being more then friends with her.

One block here is that she realllly doesnt want a bf right now because of the break up and wants to avoid getting into another relationship at the moment.
The other is that we'v been such close friends for such a long time. BTW she knows that I really like her, and that I wanna take out relationship as more then friends.

She's been telling me stuff like "you're a good fake bf" because we'v been going everywhere together like NBA game or restaurants etc.. And I'v also taken her to a vista point with a really nice view, where she told me" If we're ever going to have sex, it will be here"

Now I dont mind waiting for her to be ready, while getting with other girls in the process (she wouldnt mind) but I know that if I wait and just let go of everything she will find someone else, and all the sudden Im gonna have her telling me that she found a guy, and that she is ready for a relationship, at which point it will be too late for me. I cant let that happen.

Therefore, I really need you guys advice on how to proceed with this situation, and what I should/shouldnt do. She has not ruled out us being together in the future, and I know for a fact that she definetly thought of us being more then friends, just now how do I can get her to go through with it.

Thanks in advance
Author:  LEPRECHAUN [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 6:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend Zone ------->>> Relationship
Quote:
Mostly just a lot of kino.
Sexual kino, or friendly kino?
Quote:
She's been telling me stuff like "you're a good fake bf" because we'v been going everywhere together like NBA game or restaurants etc..
You taking her places can mean a few things to her:
1) You are trying to BUY HER
2) You want to try to WIN HER over so you can get sex
3) You are in fact wanting to do more with her than be friends (as you've said)
Quote:
And I'v also taken her to a vista point with a really nice view, where she told me" If we're ever going to have sex, it will be here"
You should have tried something with her if she said this. Take her there
again ONE NIGHT and try something with her. Don't hesitate about doing
it either.

She might give you Last Minute Resistance, but you can usually shatter that
by using the Freeze-Out Method.
Quote:
Now I dont mind waiting for her to be ready, while getting with other girls in the process (she wouldnt mind) but I know that if I wait and just let go of everything she will find someone else, and all the sudden Im gonna have her telling me that she found a guy, and that she is ready for a relationship, at which point it will be too late for me. I cant let that happen.
Make your moves on her then. Don't be shy about it. Just go for it. What
is the worst that can happen... she can say that she don't see you like that,
which means that you are in fact ONLY A FRIEND TO HER...

Or, she might say, It's too early after my break up with so-and-so... at this
point, you just tell her that you understand.

Or, she goes along with it and you get to do what you have been wanting
to do to her for a long time.
Quote:
She has not ruled out us being together in the future, and I know for a fact that she definetly thought of us being more then friends, just now how do I can get her to go through with it.
What has she said that makes you think she hasn't ruled out the two of
you getting together in the future?

How do you know FOR A FACT that she has thought of you two being
more THAN JUST FRIENDS?
Author:  Isra [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend Zone ------->>> Relationship
Quote:
Sexual kino, or friendly kino?

Mostly Friendly, some sexual

Quote:
You taking her places can mean a few things to her:
1) You are trying to BUY HER
2) You want to try to WIN HER over so you can get sex
3) You are in fact wanting to do more with her than be friends (as you've said)
1) Def not, we always split everything
2) Sort of, but not really because she knows thats not the only reason I like her
3)We've been hanging out a lot as I said, as friends

Quote:
You should have tried something with her if she said this. Take her there
again ONE NIGHT and try something with her. Don't hesitate about doing
it either.

She might give you Last Minute Resistance, but you can usually shatter that
by using the Freeze-Out Method.
I dont think the freeze out will work, because she just wont do anything then. Its more of a situation where I have to change her mind before she will actually want to do stuff (if that makes sense) and not a spur of the moment thing

Quote:
Make your moves on her then. Don't be shy about it. Just go for it. What
is the worst that can happen... she can say that she don't see you like that,
which means that you are in fact ONLY A FRIEND TO HER...

Or, she might say, It's too early after my break up with so-and-so... at this
point, you just tell her that you understand.

Or, she goes along with it and you get to do what you have been wanting
to do to her for a long time.
That I will have to try, but I know for almost a fact that she as of now its too early and that she will not want to

Quote:
What has she said that makes you think she hasn't ruled out the two of
you getting together in the future?

How do you know FOR A FACT that she has thought of you two being
more THAN JUST FRIENDS?
I talked to her about it, and pretty much told her crystal clear to tell me right now if she sees us as having a future together like that, and I was pushing her to say no if that's what she really thought, and she said "I dont know." as in confused and unsure, not as a no. Plus in the same conversation she agreed with me that if she just met me say a month ago, and we did not have all the history behind us, things would have most likely turned out differently. Trust me she has thought about it, and she knows herself that I would be a good boyfriend (again she said it.)

Anyway, I know my situation, and I know for a fact that say for the next two weeks there is no way that anything will go down because she needs time. My question is how I need to handle the situation with her or maybe some techniques to try that will make her actually wanna be more then friends with me and not just think about it. Pretty much advice for the next month or so for things that I should do?

Thanks though, what you said already was helpful too
Author:  Isra [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Just one more thing. I know that getting out of the friend zone is usually impossible, unless you pretty much disappear for a year, completely change, and come back, and only then it might be possible.

In this situation, I know that it is possible, and I am not just being an optimist because I wouldnt waste my time/feelings with her as I have been doing if I didnt think that it was possible. I pretty much already did the disappear thing, got into the game, and completely changed the way I have been treating her, the same behavior that got me into the friend zone int he first place. (well she went away for a year but w/e)

Now I just need to know how to change her mindjavascript:emoticon(':wink:')javascript:emoticon(':?')
Author:  LEPRECHAUN [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:34 am ]
Post subject: 
The way out of the friends zone is really simple...

Just start acting like a boyfriend to her.

- Make small demands for her to do.
- Make sexual innuendos.
- Touch her with delicate touches
- Touch/treat her things with care

Just do shit that a boyfriend would do.

Seeing how you two go dutch on stuff... does she make it a point that she
wants to pay for her own stuff? Or is it your idea?

If she insists on paying for her own stuff, it means that she does not want
to be "in debted" to you. Therefore, she don't want to feel that she owes you
something in return.

If it's your idea, then you are telling her mind that you are not trying to
get into her pants. Which is a good way to "trick" her mind into lowering
the shield of "oh, he don't want in my pants, I can relax and let my guard down."

But, if you start treating her like GF and acting like her BF, then she will
start to see you as her BF. When you two go out and she pulls her money
out, just hand your money to the waiter or whatever and say,
"ONE adult and (look at her) ONE child..."

This will get a laugh and maybe some more of that kino that you like...

If she says, "I'll pay for me." You just tell her, "I got it this time, next time
you pay for both of us."

This is acting like a BF... You pay this time, she pays next time...

See how it all comes together in the end... act like her boyfriend is all
there is to getting out of the friend-zone.
Author:  Isra [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:58 am ]
Post subject: 
That actually really makes sense. I spend most of my free time with her anyway, so its a great idea to just mentally switch off from im trying to convince her, to just acting as if I already did convince her.
Also, about the whole paying situation, it was more implied that we each pay separate, but lately it naturally came to a you pay this time, I pay next time sort of thing. As I said before, she already said herself that Im like a "fake bf" so im guessing with regards to the sexual stuff, just hope that it comes along with time (once her break-up thing is finished)?
Author:  LEPRECHAUN [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 8:09 am ]
Post subject: 
If she keeps coming back to this "you make a good fake BF" thing then I
would suggest that next time she says this you should say something along
the lines like:

"Oh. You're saying that I'm a fake BF... that's it, this relationship isn't working...
I'm breaking up with you."

She should play along with this since you two are close to each other anyways.
If she does play along, that's good... you can then say,

"If you want me back, give me a kiss on the cheek now."

If she kisses you on the cheek say, "that's how you kiss your mom/whoever...
try again."

When she leans in to kiss you on the cheek again, turn your head so she
kisses you on the lips. (don't get into it, let her pull back)

She will get flirty-mad (not mad in general), just flirty-mad, and prolly hit
you on the arm or something (good sign), then she'll say, that was wrong...

You can then come back with, "OK. You win. We're back together again... Hug."
(then hug her)

She now has WON YOU BACK as her BF. And now she sees you as her BF.
The one that she has WON BACK. You were the prize that she wanted to
win. She had to work for you, therefore, meaning she had put in effort to
get you back to her side. She now sees you as more than that fake BF.

I just felt like offering this little mind game (not a bad one).
Author:  Chief [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 4:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Image

I couldn't resist :lol:
Author:  Isra [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 10:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
^^^ Fuck off! lol

Anyway update, so before I even read the kiss on cheek/turn your head things that the guy mentioned above, we pretty much did that and she hit me on the arm "flirty mad" as it gets and hugged. What a coincidence? lol

However, she keeps on saying that she is really horny and needs to fuck someone but doesnt want to because she hasnt had sex in a while since her break-up... That drives me crazy, because when we talked about us getting into that, she just says that "It would be awkward because we've been friends for such a long time."
I just cant seem to get past that javascript:emoticon(':evil:')
So Im thinking that Im just gonna try to get her drunk like we have been doing pretty often latley, and really "go for it" trying to do stuff with her. If she doesnt want to, then I will do a big freeze out and pretty much tell her that she should leave then. Because I cant take it like this anymore.

If someone has a better way to go about this please let me know

-Thanks
Author:  LEPRECHAUN [ Fri Feb 13, 2009 6:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
she keeps on saying that she is really horny and needs to fuck
someone but doesnt want to because she hasnt had sex in a while since her
break-up...
She is in fact telling you that she does WANT to have sex, obvious I know.
Quote:
when we talked about us getting into that, she just says that
"It would be awkward because we've been friends for such a long time."
There is a way around this, it is not ETHICAL, but it is effective. Read on.
Quote:
Im thinking that Im just gonna try to get her drunk like we have
been doing pretty often latley, and really "go for it" trying to do stuff with
her.
This is UNETHICAL way I was talking about. If she gets drunk, she can
blame the alcohol on the reason being for why she had sex with you.

The Truth About Alcohol: It does not make you do things that you do not
want to do. It is only something to put the blame on for when you do what
you want to do, but want to have an excuse.

Girls use the line, "I was drunk.." as an excuse as to why they slept with
someone. When in reality, they really did want to sleep with that person
but need to feel good about themselves after they done it... so they use
the alcohol as an excuse.

It's a win/win situation all around.
Quote:
If she doesnt want to, then I will do a big freeze out and pretty
much tell her that she should leave then. Because I cant take it like this
anymore.
You don't want to make a drunk girl mad. Or make her cry. If she still
resists after being a little tipsy, then you should just up your game and
sexual kino on her. Touch the back of her neck lightly, the sides of her
neck lightly, the inside part of her forearm lightly so it gives her chills...
which is good, it means that she is getting turned on.

If she still resists having sex with you, you can still tell her...

"You NEED to have sex, you WANT to have sex, I will not think anymore of
it if you just CRAVE THAT RELEASE from all the pleasure that you know you
can have RIGHT NOW WITH ME it is real.. I do not kiss and tell, so no one
will know that we did this... Let's just do it and get it out of the way before
we move on to more interesting things."

By saying this "Let's just do it and get it out of the way before we
move on to more interesting things." she is in essence agreeing to
have sex in order to get to the more interesting things.

Of course, this works on a few occasions... more than it fails.
Author:  Locke [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 5:55 am ]
Post subject: 
please don't double post.
Author:  Isra [ Fri Feb 20, 2009 12:20 am ]
Post subject: 
The update:

-She is definitely against doi ng anything pgysical with me
(for now) except hugs bla bla w/e

-She said that she is really against relationships right now

-Other guys keep texting her and she sometimes hangs out with them, it drives me crazy, but she keeps saying that she doesnt want to do anything sexual with anybody right now. However, I know that if she gets drunk something prob will happen

-The whole thing between me acting like her bf was brought up again when one of the guys that she's been talking to asked her if I was her bf... she obviously said no

-Im pretty much given up on that and going to go after the other girls I'v been talking to even tho it wouldnt mean as much as if something were to happen with the other girls.


I suppose no of you know anything I can do to get anything sexual with her do you?
Author:  Locke [ Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:18 am ]
Post subject: 
yea....acting like her boyfriend and getting frustrated when other people talk to her? She has made it clear she is uninterested. I'd move along.
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